Getting in a pickle arranging return to work and childcare with friend

[Jellybabie3]

So....long one

I am planning my return to work. Up until now DS was going to a friend who is a registered childminder who lives locally, full time, although no contracts have ever been drawn up etc. Now that I have been on leave, I quite simply dont want to go back full time. I spoke to my friend and mentioned this a few weeks ago and she initially didnt seem overly impressed but then said fair enough, she understands.

Now i have spoken to HR and my boss has been brilliant...I want to go 3 days. Or atleast do it as a trial as it will be financially tight but of course my son comes first (in my mind). It turns out I also have a tonne of leave to use which could allow me to return to work later, to save on more childcare and save me taking leave for when my childminder is away in the October holidays (and avoid paying her whilst shes away) When i hinted about this last week with the childminder she wasnt happy and said it was putting her in an awkward position to need to fill gaps. I feel like crap but obviously want to take the time with my son.

What do i do here. Work want to know what I am doing but I feel like I cant open my mouth to either without risking complicating the situation more....

Thanks all for your help btw. Its good to get an outside opinion. I by no means expected people to pat me on the back here so will take all criticism. DH thinks I am worrying too much but its not his friend so he doesn't get it quite the same way

Speak to your boss first. Get an agreement on your start date and the days you'll work. Then speak to your friend and ask if this suits her, let her know you'll look elsewhere if needed, if she wants to get a full time child instead.

Thank you. I think I am just tying myself up in knots now.

Just a couple of thoughts - you seem to be assuming that if you work Monday’s you will get the bank holidays for ‘free’ like full time workers. Double check if you haven’t already that you do. And secondly you’ve mentioned settling in and yes you’d need to use some time - so unused holidays perfect - for that. Don’t forget settling yourself back into work. Use ‘your’ time to get a jump start on any jobs around the house e.g bulk cook and freeze some dinners so your reentry into work is as easy as possible. Sort work clothes out. Maybe get a head start on Christmas shopping. You’ll miss baby so be productive. They say it takes months for someone’s body clock to adjust to a new timetable. You can absolutely do this but make it as easy for yourself as possible. That way when you have been at work you can spend evenings with baby. Appreciate totally that it feels silly financially to start baby early but settling baby before you are stressed with settling yourself is very precious

The bank hols are pro rata so i get some back. And yes you are exactly right. Some me time would be wonderful!

So we've had a chat and it looks like i broke lucky and childminder has been approached to take on another child a couple of days a week so she is not overly concerned about losing my two days. We have to negotiate what days thats all. I of course was very very apologetic all the same. I have agreed to start sending ds in october and take a few me days as pp suggested (great idea after a year without a haircut or a decent bath!!). It does seem financially silly but mentally brilliant. The rest of the leave i will take when and If needed before march.

Thanks all .

I'm glad that it's all working out 😀

Sounds like it’s all worked out well! Happy for you

Yes i am exceedingly lucky! Thanks all for setting me on track though. I probably would have put it off longer to avoid thinking about going back to work but now its done atleast I can refocus.

Much appreciated