Elderly neighbours complaining about kids playing

[LonelyJemma]

I live near a mixture of bungalows (all council owned), houses (private rented) and flats (mixture of both) and I'm having issues with a couple of elderly women (1 on one side of the road and 1 on my side) I live near a block of communal flats and my kids play on the grass in front of them and near the bungalows (where one neighbours grandkid stays over sometimes) the kids are doing NO harm to anybody. No anti social behaviour, not being overly loud, no trouble caused but yet these two women are complaining about the kids playing near their home. I personally don't see the problem, unless they're causing criminal damage to their properties or chucking things over the fence, etc. Which they're not. They are primary school kids playing out, enjoying the nice weather and having fun. These neighbours are sending my blood pressure through the roof, I'm annoyed they are telling my kids to stop playing or "play out over on your side"
I don't have the confidence to confront these women and give them a peace of my mind. I've contacted the council to ask them if the grass these kids are playing on is council owned or private. It gets cut by the council so I'm assuming it's the councils. Am I in the wrong for allowing them to play on council owned grass? Am I wrong in telling my kids that they are allowed to play where the hell they want as long as they're not causing trouble?

If it upset you son much then it’s time to talk to them

I think people are going to tell you they should play in the garden or the park. Personally, I don’t know really. I assume those council owned bits of grass tend to not be for playing.

We have a park nearby but usually it's claimed by the preteens/teenagers who like to hang there, drinking, smoking and causing trouble. The youngest kid there (6) is not allowed on the park without parent supervision anyway

Sorry I've changed my name. ^ I thought it would've changed over.

I guess they don’t want the noise near their house. I wonder if you did speak to them they’d be a bit more reasonable.

Ok you are not going to like this, but I suffer a bit from something similar. All kids in our culture de sac play on the snickett by my house. This does my head in. It's only our house that has property and not just the garden facing it, so we get all the noise all day. Why don't parents actually ever listen? If your neighbors have complained please be civil and either have them play in your garden or friends gardens or the park. Why do others have to suffer their noise even if minimal? I am sorry but YABU and not very neighbourly either.

Is the noise they are making playng noise or screaming and screeching? There is no need for the latter. If they are playing nicely and not screaming and screeching then the neighbours ABU. If the noise levels are too much the children must be spoken to about their behaviour and a lesson on the concept of other people.

I can see both sides of this. I am in a flat where we share communal gardens. I enjoy kid and I'm glad they have a large secure place to play, but they ARE loud. I don't know of any group of primary aged children that would play quietly. They aren't doing anything whrong and for the most part play pretty well together, but the do tend to tell a lot. If you walk past any primary school at break time you will know what I mean.
Although I enjoy the children, the constant noise can be very wearing and sometimes you just want to sit out in the sun with a cup of tea and relax and this can be hard to do with children yelling.
My suggestion would be that you make sure that the children don't play in this space all the time but they are told to play in other areas for some days or parts of each day so that the neighbours get some respite.
I can imagine if you were elderly and perhaps in pain and went able to escape from the noise it could get really wearing.

@Immigrantsong they are not being noisy though. I do agree with you in terms of the noise but they weren't being noisy at the time of her coming out of her garden and telling them to go and play somewhere else.

I think a bit of give and take is needed. How old are these women? If they're housebound in this hot weather they'll have their windows open and if your kids are playing out most of the time and making a lot of noise I can see how it might be annoying if it's every day. Could you go and talk to them and come to some kind of agreement? They need to accept that if they live in an area with families (as opposed to a property down a quiet street), then children playing out in the summertime is a fact of life. If they're just being NIMBYish and petty that's not fair. Children are a fact of life as much as old people are and they need to be tolerant, up to a point.

However, you say as long as they're not causing damage, it's okay, and there I disagree with you. If my kids were making so much noise that they were annoying the neighbours I'd ask the to pipe down a bit. They need to learn a bit of consideration too and if they're prepared to do this then you may find your elderly neighbours are a bit more understanding.

@TroysMammy I agree, I can't be dealing with screaming and screeching and all that but they weren't doing that.
Also, I sound really stupid but what is ABU short for?

That should read ' they do tend to yell a lot'.

Also wanted to add that these children are not being directly supervised by parents at all times so I think it is possible that parents are not aware of how continuous the noise is, how often there are squabbles etc.

For some older people, having the constant noise of children playing nearby can be very annoying. My dad had a serious operation and when he came home he got very very upset when the children were playing near his bungalow. He couldn't move to escape the noise, the children could play elsewhere though.
The point is, they are causing a problem, just not for you. Is there a reason why they can't play in their own garden?

Is the noise they are making playng noise or screaming and screeching? There is no need for the latter.

This is key.

Some children do scream or screach a lot during play. Some parents apparently think that’s normal.

I think you need to be a bit more considerate. Whether you think the children are being noisy or not, your neighbours do. 2 of them.

You should vary the places your children play. Do you have a garden? Could they sometimes play there?

You say they are not noisy but you are used to kids so probably don't really notice. I have no kids and find any kids playing out noisy.

@juneau they look like they're in their 70s. I tell my kids to lower their noise for the reason being we live near elderly people but like I mentioned before at the time they weren't making any noise.

Unless you're supervising OP, how do you know what they're doing or whether they're being noisy?

I think you need to understand what the issue is - I think my own children playing in the back garden can be noisy even when they're not being noisy if that makes sense, and I love them . Just have a chat with them.

Just because the land is council owned it doesn't give everyone carte blanch to graze their kids on it.

You should troop them all down to the Town Hall and play there for the day.

Your kids should play at home or if you don't have space take them out.

@splitchick I am sure you think they aren't noisy, but please forgive me if I think that most children tend to are, especially if they are little. And let's say for argument's shake they aren't, having repetitive sound/low level noise around your house (aka your sanctuary) is very irritating. I think parents tend to be immune to their children's noise and a bit more forgiving. I get it, I am also a parent. But your rights and freedoms stop where the rights and freedoms of the other person begin. And that is a great way to live your life and lesson to teach the kids. To add, I firmly believe that kids should be supervised at all times even at an older age. Could this work as a compromise with your neighbors? If you promise to monitor them so they never exceed noise levels or agree on best time to play and for how long. We are part of a society and we should respect our neighbors especially if elderly.

Why are they playing outside other people's houses rather than outside their own?

KIDS ARE NOISY - I get that. But at the time they weren't being noisy! They were simply playing quietly, I could see them, I was watching them.
FYI, it's not just my kids, they play with three others in the area. I just didn't want you all to think it's my kids at fault.

I think it's pretty unreasonable to send the kids to play where they are upsetting your neighbours tbh and even more so if you have a garden really.

OP do you have a garden? If not I agree with pp about taking them to the park rather than playing on the council grass

I think some of you are missing the point. Obviously you can't see the layout of the street I'm on. The bungalows are next to houses - the kids live in a house, flat and a bungalow. The kids in a flat do not have a garden of their own. The kid in the bungalow doesn't have a garden of her own (just the council owned grass) which they were playing on at the time.
The kids weren't being noisy AT THE TIME.__ Yes kids are loud, but not at that time they weren't. I am able to watch them because they were across the road from me.