Elderly neighbours complaining about kids playing

[LonelyJemma]

I live near a mixture of bungalows (all council owned), houses (private rented) and flats (mixture of both) and I'm having issues with a couple of elderly women (1 on one side of the road and 1 on my side) I live near a block of communal flats and my kids play on the grass in front of them and near the bungalows (where one neighbours grandkid stays over sometimes) the kids are doing NO harm to anybody. No anti social behaviour, not being overly loud, no trouble caused but yet these two women are complaining about the kids playing near their home. I personally don't see the problem, unless they're causing criminal damage to their properties or chucking things over the fence, etc. Which they're not. They are primary school kids playing out, enjoying the nice weather and having fun. These neighbours are sending my blood pressure through the roof, I'm annoyed they are telling my kids to stop playing or "play out over on your side"
I don't have the confidence to confront these women and give them a peace of my mind. I've contacted the council to ask them if the grass these kids are playing on is council owned or private. It gets cut by the council so I'm assuming it's the councils. Am I in the wrong for allowing them to play on council owned grass? Am I wrong in telling my kids that they are allowed to play where the hell they want as long as they're not causing trouble?

Is the grassed area bigger than your garden? It's a bit much to restrict kids to a tiny garden if there's a safe space nearby.

We have a couple of neighbours who moan about kids chalking on the path and climbing trees in the park. They're petty joy suckers.

Ok invite the gardenless kids to play in your garden, with your kids.
I've heard they are quiet.

OP I think you're being a bit ridiculous. Kiss don't play quietly - they make some noise. For elderly people that noise can be irritating and why should they have to put up with that if you have your own garden? If you're watching them anyway, I.e. not doing anything else, just take them to the park.

I assume then that you do have a garden so no excuse for your children to be playing on the council grass. You are obviously not responsible for the other children. I think playing in own garden or going to park is the way to go if they supervising in the park then go with them

All the council owned land near us has signs on saying no ball games which people generally take to mean no kids either so it's not a problem. Have to say I'd be pissed off with a group of kids playing on the grass next to my home when they didn't live there and their parent was enjoying the quiet of her own garden.

@thequeef

so how many children in total where playing 'quietly' and for how long were you watching them all the time?
No-one is trying to be a killjoy and if the elderly ladies lived on a new estate with lots of families nearby with children playing in their own gardens - I would say the older people have chosen the wrong environment to live in for a quiet life. But I imagine they chose a set of bungalows because they are usually inhabited by single people or couples without families.
The grass belongs to everyone - not just for numerous children to play one.

You need to accept that what your children are doing is upsetting two elderly people, and have some compassion. But you don't seem to actually want to hear that, do you. So carry on being selfish.

ABU - are being unreasonable.

I remember years ago when I was a child. My sister and I were playing rather loudly at the top of our garden which backed onto the gardens of the houses behind. The lady of the house behind complained and told us off about the noise we were making in our own garden. We found out later that her husband was terminally ill and he died the next day.

So how many children altogether play quietly there?

The kids weren't being noisy AT THE TIME.__ Yes kids are loud, but not at that time they weren't.

That does imply that they do play noisily out there sometimes though?

Maybe your neighbours were anticipating them getting noisy & wanted to ask them to move before it reached that stage?

Being council maintained does not necessarily mean council owned. Are you in one of the flats, if not do you have a garden? You need to supervise them if the council agree your children are entitled to use it.

I think the neighbours are being unreasonable, actually. It is summer, children play outside.

Obviously the op should make sure they’re not screaming their heads off.

Also, 70’s is not particularly elderly.

YABU. Why should your elderly neighbours have to put up with your kids playing outside their house? Either play in your own garden or go to the park. Its not hard and it makes no difference if the grass is council owned or not. Your attitude stinks and I'm 100% on your neighbours side. I have no problems with the sounds of kids playing, as long as they are not right outside my house when they have alternative places to play.

YABU again why should the neighbours put up with this, the kids can easily go elsewhere to play

I think YABU in the nicest way possible. My street set up sounds very similar to yours. A few kids play on the green outside my house, and their parents think they dont make any noise, but they do!! The constant low level noise starts to really get on your nerves. I dont open any windows at the front of my house as a result (even in this heat!). My neighbours have asked the kids (nicely) if they can move somewhere else, their mom has been round to tell them that the kids are not making any noise. What the parents dont understand is that young children do not play in silence!

I have really mixed feelings about this, have DC myself and no issues with kids playing out or making noise in the street.

But....we are unfortunate enough to live next to a similar bit of land, it doesn't belong to us but is right next to our house. We also have a footpath running right under our front window which slopes down and because of the slope the council have put in one or two slabs with the textured bumps so people don't slip.

This slope is a magnet for local kids with scooters but because of the slabs they make the most horrendous noise, like a rumble strip type effect. So they're right outside my house all the bloody time, playing on the grass and scooting down the slope and yes, it does get wearing so I can understand how your neighbours feel.

In your shoes I think I'd go round, explain that you'd prefer they spoke to you if there's a problem rather than telling DC off and see if there's a compromise to be found. Maybe you could agree certain times where they don't mind so much and ask the kids to play in the garden outside those times?

I would be over the moon if the kids here would just spread it around a bit and play elsewhere some of the time (there are other bits of grass but only one slope ) instead of always the same place so you might find your neighbours are happy with that. I get the feeling most of the parents here are just glad to have them out of their way and don't think about how it affects us so speaking to your neighbours would at least show them you don't fall into that camp.

Why can't they play in your garden? Why are you sending them to play outside someone else's house?

I have my front garden outside my house but regardless of whether I own it or not, someone else's kids playing in it would irritate the hell out of me.

YABU. Why should your elderly neighbours have to put up with your kids playing outside their house?
Maybe because they live in a public street with other houses?
All the kids round here play out, no one complains. Just like no one complains when other neighbours are revving engines/having bbq's/cutting grass or whatever. It's life in the summer when you have neighbours.

I think the kids are being noisier than you think they are. At that point they may have been quiet enough but if there's a din for hours each day then I can see why these people are fed up.
And a 6 year old? Out without adults? I wouldn't.

I have the same type of issue. Live on a private estate but all the open grass lands have been fenced in and some of the kids play out front of our house and NDN.
We have driveways and so the road if open and it's at the end of a cul de sac.
We get the whole estate playing in front of our houses!
Drives us bonkers, but the parents don't like their 'darlings' playing outside next to their cars.
Thankfully, they are not out there for hours, but the noise when they play 'kerbie', irritates me!
Grr!

I think there is nothing nicer than seeing children out playing in the sunshine, getting fresh air and exercise. My DCs are well into adulthood but I love to see the children out and about. Shouting? Yes of course they do - they are excited and having fun. My Dad (nearly 80) tells his neighbours that the children are welcome to play on what is legally his land because he loves it. He even gets ice creams in for them. His neighbours are fabulous and often call round with a bottle of wine or box of biscuits to say thanks for being so kind to the children. One of his early adoptees now works in the city and helps my Dad to cut the grass as it’s getting a bit much for him.. Proper community spirit.