New baby, how do you take care of yourself too?

[Spanglyprincess1]

DS is now a week old and is amazing, love him to bits. But im struggling to find time for basic tasks like eating and drinking. I'm either feeding him or soothing him or trying to sleep. I've had chronic headaches today as I have forgotten to eat most of the day. I'm also still recovering from birth so tasks are taking longer.
How do you manage to stay on top of the basics? Any tips regarding basics like food? Does it get easier?

Learn how to eat with one hand. GIve up trying to do anything except the absolute essentials. By Christmas your DS will be slightly more independent and you may occasionally be allowed to eat while he sits in a cot or chair!

Drink a large glass of water at every feed. Baby drinks and you drink at the same time! I bought a large refillable and kept it with me constantly at home and going out.

Have snacks out in the kitchen. Get DH to support you by preparing your lunch and some nutritious snacks in the morning before he goes to work.

Give up on housework and cooking etc. Enjoy baby snuggles and get as much sleep as possible.

Do you have a supportive DP? At that stage, while my hands were busy with feeding, DH would hold a sports bottle to my mouth so I could drink.

Tell your DP (if you have one) to make sure you have a drink and a snack that can be eaten one handed at every feed. I was ravenous at that stage, which did calm down.

Basically, it's very hard to do these things for yourself in the very early days. You mind baby, DP minds you!

I had twins and it was a bit of a struggle to start with.

My DH brought me porridge and tea first thing every morning while I was doing the first feed.

He also left a sandwich in the fridge for me for lunch.

I kept a table with fruit, a jug of water and a thermos of tea next to the sofa where I was feeding.

I learned to eat dinner with one hand (things you can eat with a spoon at good) and a tea towel tucked over wherever baby I was feeding the time.

It’s hard to start with but it does get easier.

Evening / Morning there,

DW and I have opted for shifts, little one is 1 week old today. We've found it works pretty well, however only if there is a bottle feed routine going.

What we've done is split the night into 2, with her going to bed at 9pm (after baby hugs and kisses of course) and then wake up at 3am, allowing me to sleep after the change over till 9 or 9.30. This is then supplemented by a 5pm 1 hour power nap to keep everyone going!

I haven't gone back to work yet, however, it is worth seeing if shifts could work and perhaps express if you are BF?

Feel your pain, if you have supporting parents, they can always help with basics! My advice is to plan plan plan!!! Make the alone time enjoyable, we've setup blowup beds, laptops, monitors, food so that we can eat while she sleeps! Forget the housework, that's immaterial right now, you need to focus on you and DS

Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit weepy as well. Dp wfh but seems to forget i need help in the day. He was good for first two days but hasn't cooked or brought me a drink in last couple of days. He is watching ds twice a day for an hour so I can nap which is helping me get basic sleep and hes doing most of the washing which helps.
The fruit bowl and big water bottle is a good idea. The heat prob isn't helping either tbh

Hi OP. This isn't easy at all. You've correctly called it self care if you have a DP who "forgets" like mine often does. Really good advice given already from previous posters. I can only add about the emotional side. Feeling weepy is unfortunately going to happen. So have a think about what else you need in terms of support from other people, or anything else. I found myself at my lowest in the middle of the night feeds, that would take forever, and I felt really alone. So I'd go down to the living room, switch tv/netflix on and make it more "normal", I had been sitting in the dark bedroom while DH slept which is obviously not the best in hindsight! Also used to text my cousin in Canada to make use of the time difference and have a middle of the night friend! It's not easy but you'll get there.

Dp wfh but seems to forget i need help in the day. He was good for first two days but hasn't cooked or brought me a drink in last couple of days.

Fuck that noise! He needs to step up. If you're breastfeeding there's not a huge amount he can do for the baby bar nappy changes. His job is to take care of you.

Hang on, you DP works from home but you haven't eaten all day??

Well, giving your DP a big fucking kick up the butt aside, you should try:

Making yourself a sandwich before bed and putting it in the fridge for the next day, or making two sandwiches at lunch and putting one in the fridge for the following day.

Making "everything on toast" - cheese on toast, beans on toast, scrambled eggs on toast, avocados on toast. Good filling food that's quick and has protein and carbs.

Ordering food online.

Setting up a snack box next to where you feed with protein bars, water bottles, juices, crackers, bananas etc, that way if you really are stuck there's something within reach. Get your lazy DP to keep it stocked.

Oh, and it's normal to feel weepy at this point - the baby blues can last two weeks. But you really need to eat to keep up your emotional as well as physical reserves.

Nothing to do with food, but showering at night was a revelation for me. It's silly but I always feel much more human after a shower.

Wow I missed that he WFH. What is there for him to forget then, surely he eats and drinks during the day so he can double up and bring you stuff at the same time. If he CBA to make you a cup of tea then either go with a flask or those (really sweet but awesome) cappuccino sachets are amazing and quick. Come in decaff and unsweetened too if you're breast feeding.

Congratulations op! Tell your partner you need more concrete help. Do an online food shop: ready meals, dried fruit you can snack on that lives next to where you feed, muesli bars, biscuits, bananas, sandwich meats if you eat meat. Most useful thing for me was keeping food and water next to nursing chair.

It does get easier.

I'm going to second if you partner works from home - every time he makes himself a drink / snack, he makes you one too. Even if you don't want it.

Have a box on the sofa next to you with tv remotes, kindles, crisps (open packet), fruit and chocolate, and a sports bottle of water - one of the those flip up lids that you can work with one hand.

Good luck x

If it gets really tough could hire a post natal doula

Thanks and i am BF hence why I'm up every two hours min for feeds.
Good ideas for snacks. Need to organise more !

I have a 2 week old and am struggling, i am bottle feeding but making no difference, she has been awake since 2.30 this morning and just won't settle! I feel like I want to cry!

I have a two month old and snack stations up and downstairs, one handed easy food and bottles you can drink out of easily have been a godsend! Also ravenous the first few weeks though this is calming down a bit now but biscuits at the 5an feed were my friend! Good luck and many congratulations!

I would go to bed at 7/8pm and leave the baby with your DH. He can give him a bottle if he's hungry. Then get up at midnight and take over. I'd then get DH to get up with the baby at 6am while I slept for a couple of hours.

Could you not put the baby in the pram or a bouncer while you make yourself a snack or meal? Something simple like a baked potato you can just bung in the oven or a ready meal? Otherwise your DH should get off his arse and make you something when you ask him. Perhaps get a bell 🛎😂.

I've got a 12 weeks old and a just turned 2 year old so I do understand but I think you've got to just give the baby to DH or put them down in a safe place and make time for you to at least get the basics of eating and drinking done x

Bless you, the early stages are tough!! Totally agree with PP who suggested doing things in shifts so you could do a feed at say 9ish then go straight to bed while DH stays up with baby til next one and brings DS up to you when he needs next feed. This will buy you some sleep. It's good that you get some day naps. Sleep is everything!

It's normal to feel weepy but shitty when it hits you ☹ it usually passes and happens to most mums.

As for eating I was the same can you put DS in a sling and make something? Or ask DH to do it. Might be worth sitting down with DH and explaining what things he could do to make it feel easier for you. He's probably quite overwhelmed too!

Def agree with PP that a water bottle and snacks near where u feed are a must at this stage!

Lastly, I know this is an old chestnut and it doesn't seem it but it will pass and things do get easier 🌼

Dh needs to be stepping up and making you food and drinks basically. Have easy things like cereal bars in the house so you can just grab them if you want one.

Get a tonne of microwave meals that only need one hand to eat like cottage pie. Get a stack of paper plates as well just for these first weeks to cut down on the piles of plates to clean etc. Force yourself to have a 3 min shower every day no matter what. Babies can cry for three mins and be fine but it will make you much more able to cope if you have taken care of yourself just a bit. As pp have said it will get better. I hated the small baby stage much prefer chatting kids!

Good advice from everyone thank you. Congrats to evryone else on their little ones too, they are a joy but hard esp when restless like he's been tonight.
I had surgery post delivery do three months showers may be a struggle as I'm slow m sorry but I will try

Sore not sorry...autocorrect error

Did you have surgery for a third degree tear? In which case I'd be getting DH to help even more. Why is he back at work already? Is he self employed? Even so he needs to step up. Perhaps he's not sure what to do? Maybe you could say exactly what you need from him so that he knows x