New baby, how do you take care of yourself too?

[Spanglyprincess1]

DS is now a week old and is amazing, love him to bits. But im struggling to find time for basic tasks like eating and drinking. I'm either feeding him or soothing him or trying to sleep. I've had chronic headaches today as I have forgotten to eat most of the day. I'm also still recovering from birth so tasks are taking longer.
How do you manage to stay on top of the basics? Any tips regarding basics like food? Does it get easier?

The first few weeks is so hard I found by around 4-5 weeks I had my routine down, but occasionally got thrown a curve ball of an awful nights sleep and would spend the day in my pjs.

My lo is now 19 weeks, so have very recently had a baby.

As pp have said your dh really needs to step up, also do you gave any other help? The first couple of weeks my Mum or mil made us dinner most days.

I found porridge pots the best thing for breakfast, it's not too difficult to boil the kettle and that's all you have to do. I've moved on to making bircher muesli now. Also Bol veg pots/salad jars for lunch or making a pitta/sandwich the day before.

I second a snack bag/box in the room you spend the majority of your time feeding. I loved Graze superfood bites they're really tasty and fairly filling, lots of things you like and can eat one handed. As pp have said I also had a big water bottle as I found I was getting awful headaches from forgetting to drink, I kept this with me and found it really helped.

If you can afford it don't feel bad to order in dinner.

Hope you can start to get more help, it's a hard few weeks but you will find your new normal soon.

Not a third degree, I had three second degree and one was very deep hence the surgery.
I agree it's overwhelming at the momment so I'm trying to get a routine. My old meal etc are too complicated for me to face but snacks and pre packaged stuff is probably the answer

DH used to bring me tea and toast in bed every morning before he left for work. Baby and I would stay in bed until the first nap. As soon as baby asleep I’d have a shower and get dressed then when baby awake we’d head downstairs. Water bottle/thermos mug for drinks - never start a feed without getting a drink to take with you and making sure the tv remote is in reach. If baby doesn’t like being put down then get a sling - at least you can make lunch etc then. Try to get out of the house every day - it seems really overwhelming at first but will do wonders for your mental health, particularly in this nice sunny weather. Doesn’t have to be any more than a walk around the block if that’s all you can manage at the moment. Hang on in there, it gets much easier v quickly.

Have a drink of water at hand all day - drink before and after every feed to stop you getting dehydrated. Online supermarket shop to stock up on easy food - ready meals you can eat with one hand if you need to and plenty of fruit to snack on. I was ravenous for the first 2-3 weeks breastfeeding. Have a small table near to where you feed to put snacks/drinks/book/remote control/phone etc on

Don't be putting pressure on yourself for routines etc yet. Or even for getting out of the house if you're still recovering (although you may feel much better if you do). And obviously don't even think about figuring out expressing so DH can give a bottle! There's time for all that. The only routine you need now is, as others have said, making sure you have everything near you before starting a feed. Even now I sometimes let DD cry 90 seconds longer if I need to refill my water bottle etc - once you start a feed, that's you trapped, so make sure you're sorted first!

Also ravenous the first few weeks though this is calming down a bit now but biscuits at the 5an feed were my friend!

Three months in and we're still buying cereal bars for me to eat after the night feed!

Soup was good, quick to make and you can dunk a couple of slices of bread in. Just don't eat it over the baby when it's really hot.

DH brings toast and tea (ideally in thermos mug) up before starting work. Even if you're asleep, it's something to start on when you wake up.

He then makes a sandwich for lunch for you.

And yes to leaving baby for a couple of extra minutes to make sure YOU'RE sorted before the feed.

The early weeks are so hard. Don't worry about trying to get a routine in place yet, yet little one is not going to pay any attention to it as they are still getting used to life on the outside.

I make my breakfast the night before (I'm a fan of overnight oats) and have a litre bottle sports flask filled at all times which is next to me on the sofa while I feed during the day.

Hubby cooks dinner for us when he gets home and usually makes enough that I can reheat for my lunch for the next day.

I've also got a snack basket near the sofa as well, which is filled with cereal bars, flapjack and other things I can eat with 1 hand.

Do things like shower when your little one is sleeping and nap when they are sleeping as well. It does get easier, I promise!

Your DP needs to be offering you a snack/drink/meal everytime he gets up to get something for himself.

I’m pretty appalled that isn’t happening.

My mom had him for two hours at lunch today so I could sleep and made me a sandwich/ drink. She's a lifesaver.
I'm going to make time to do a snack basket and fill a big bottle of squash near sofa too.
We have the three step kids for the next few days which will be lovely but also makes life much busier.

All great advice and I am due my second in Nov, so this is bringing it all back to me. My DD would not sleep and sucked me dry, I felt really alone some nights and it was like groundhog day. Are your iron levels ok? Get some of the liquid sachets. It is really important that you drink loads ( not wine unfortunately!) in order to BF well. The baby will be fine to cry for a minute or 2 while you sort yourself out, they are tougher then we think. As said before, a shower makes you feel like a person again so maybe order some nice toiletries online.
Read a kindle, listen to podcasts, whatever to keep you in a positive mood. Its really tough and we have all been there, one thing I will emphasise is that you need to make it clear to DH that you need more help/support. It took me a while to say anything and I suffered, my DH thought I was coping fine when in fact I thought I was going to pretty much have a breakdown!
One last thing, get some fresh air when you can, this heat is pretty harsh so keep cold flannels and drinks in the fridge. Best of luck and look after yourself!

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Get yourself a nursing pillow. I got this one and it’s amazing as you can sit up feeding the baby and have both hands free to eat, drink, phone friends/family, and do all at the same time if you want. I’ve currently got my baby on his while I surf Mumsnet!

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Also this close caboo sling is absolutely amazing! I had a baby who I couldn’t put down, I wish I discovered slinging him sooner, as it feels brilliant the first time you can safely make a cup of tea with a baby attached to you!

Also bottles of water next to your bed/sofa, I put a kettle in the bedroom too, fruit, cereal bars. Do an online shop, ready meals are great and i’ll happily have one for breakfast. Ocado do a big percentage off your first shop and free delivery.

PS. Congratulations! I cried a lot in the first couple of weeks, but when you get a moment when your baby looks up at you and smiles you’ll be so proud of the hard work your doing!

Also important is your OH takes over at least once a day so you can have a bath, you don’t want to get an infection, even just a shallow bath will do.

Thanks everyone. He slept for four hours straight last night and I feel so much more human than I did for having a sleep at night.
Other half did food shop and I have snacks so fingers crossed next week goes a bit smoother.
Spoke to my midwife about the crying and they think it's normal but keeping an eye as I struggled previously.
Totally agree ds is 100% worth it. He's so beautiful, I can't believe I made him!

Cleaner

Bottle feed

Ready mademeals

Online shopping

Box sets or sky or netflix

Regular baby sitting

Glad things are looking up a bit OP. Amazing how four hours sleep seems like a long time after a baby! Sounds like you have a lot to deal with as you had surgery after the birth. As others said make sure you look after yourself - if your DH is working from home the least he can do is keep you fed. Maybe set an alarm on his phone to remind him to supply you? I ate loads of cereal bars when bf my DT. Easy to grab and eat one handed. Have a supply of nice snacks near where you feed and a big drink container. The contigo flasks are great if you like hot drinks. A nursing pillow as bluemoon says may free up your hands a bit. I used one of those v-pillows - think designed for people sitting up in bed. I highly recommend finding a good Netflix series if you haven't already - really does make the indeterminable time feeding more bearable. And Mumsnet of course!

In the early days I always eat and drink whilst breastfeeding.