How do I politely say you cannot look after my son?

[221291Cc]

Hi everyone,
So I have a 8 week old son, I’m happy for our parents to look after him, even my close friend and my other half’s older brother.

however, my partners younger brother has a girlfriend (let’s say sister in law) who is constantly asking when she can have him, originally she wanted to have him overnight but my partner convinced her she wouldn’t like getting up all night, so now she wants him for an evening.

But she has caused so many problems in the family, she treats my partners brother really badly, I’m sure it’s emotional abuse. I had a big falling out with her when I was pregnant but that just isolated my brother in law, so I accepted her apology a few days before our due date. I don’t trust her to look after my 8 week old who is my whole world when she can’t even treat adults with respect. I’d be on edge knowing my little man is with her unsupervised, I know it sounds silly but I wouldn’t relax.

But my other half is a peacekeeper and wants me to keep things nice for the sake of his brother, he’s supports me in not letting her look after our little man. But I can’t keep making excuses as to why she can’t babysit when she asks, what do I do?

Sh's not exactly a close family member or friend, is she? She has no real link to you apart from she's going out with your partner's brother. Just say no politely but firmly. He's a tiny baby not a pretty toy.

That is so weird, your husband’s brother’s girlfriend, so basically a random woman, wants you to leave your baby with her overnight?! Fuck polite, I’d be asking her if she’s on drugs!

My baby is 18 months and I’ve never left her overnight, I might consider it when she’s 2.

Just say listen I'm just feeling okay with leaving him with parents etc etc. I'm his mum and I don't feel comftabu le leaving him with you just yet. I don't no when I will maybe next mo th maybe in a couple of years but he is my baby and I'm not making my self uncomftabile to please other people.

Seriously I don’t even particularly like looking after after my own babies overnight, I genuinely have no idea why someone would want to look after a non related one! They are either fast asleep or they are crying. It’s not like it’s fun playing with a newborn at 2am!!

I’d do it for a very close friend/family member if they desperately needed a break or it was an emergency, but I wouldn’t offer for my own enjoyment. I’m pretty relaxed about leaving my kids and I wouldn’t leave a baby that young with someone with no experience of newborns

Why on earth do you think you sound silly? Your reaction is completrly normal. Most mums would not want to leave thrir 8 week old baby with anyone else. Theres no way in hell I would have left my baby with ger, she dounds nuts! And overnight?!! That is crazy, no one would feel comfortable with that! YOU are responsible for your baby, nobody else. Your baby is not a toy, dont feel obliged to hand her around.

Thanks again, I decided to get it over with yesterday whilst watching the football, I told her firmly that I’m not comfortable having people look after him at the moment. She seemed to get the hint.

However, my worries were only confirmed as I let her give him a cuddle and she couldn’t hold him properly at all, she didn’t support his head and I quickly had to remove him from her, in that situation rudeness deosnt come into it, I couldn’t care less if she’s offended, she’s not going to hurt my son and she got the hint and didn’t ask again.

Good for you.