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Original poster

Should a 1 y/o be able to entertain themselves?

47 replies

likeacrow · 03/07/2018 20:39

My 15 month old is becoming increasingly incapable of being left for longer than 5 or 10 minutes. If I try to wash up or make meals she clings onto my legs, if I go upstairs (for longer than 5-10 mins) she stands at the bottom of the stairs screaming. The only way I can get anything done is if I stick her in front of CBeebies or Peppa Pig Blush She plays beautifully with toys and looks at books independently if I'm sat in the vicinity but if I try to leave the room it's only a matter of time before the screaming starts...

She's can even be funny with DH if I'm there. If I'm not she's absolutely fine.

Is this normal or are we doing something very wrong?

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Believeitornot · 03/07/2018 20:41

Normal for mine. I just rolled with it and they’re fine now and have been for years
(They’re 8&6).

Crocky · 03/07/2018 20:46

Normal.

starsinyourpies · 03/07/2018 20:59

Normal, sorry! You have a gap now before their concentration is long enough for a few episodes of Peppa Pig! Enjoy nap times while they last too Grin.

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Jfw82 · 03/07/2018 21:03

I wish they could.... but absolutely normal

Original poster
likeacrow · 03/07/2018 21:51

Tbh DD will actually happily sit in front of CBeebies or Peppa for up to an hour if I let her, I just then feel super guilty as I feel I'm potentially hindering her ability to learn to entertain herself. I don't want her to become reliant on the TV.

And that much screen time can't be good for a 1 year old, surely?

But how else do you actually get anything done? (Not up for leaving her in floods of tears and completely beside herself, obviously.)

Refreshing to hear these responses though as when I've talked to some other mums IRL they've said their 1 y/os will play on their own quite happily, so I was worrying I'd somehow created the problem.

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 03/07/2018 21:56

Sorry but my dd is 14 months and no way could I even try to leave her for 5 mins to go upstairs, she's dangerous! She climbs, she puts anything and everything in her mouth, she messes with doors, opening and shutting them. She comes everywhere with me and it is exhausting but at that age you can't really expect them to look after themselves for any time at all. They're literally still babies.

bobstersmum · 03/07/2018 21:57

And my dd doesn't want to watch any TV, I wish she did!

SprogletsMum · 03/07/2018 22:00

Dc4 is 15 months and he's the same.
Total hysterics if I leave the room but doesn't want me to entertain him if I'm in the room with him.
It's normal and they outgrow it. Of something needs to be done I just do it, if he cries, he cries. I don't cart him round everywhere with me I just make sure the house is as safe as it can be.

skankingpiglet · 03/07/2018 22:12

IME it depends on the child.
DD1 will even now be calling for me before I've reached the 3rd step to go upstairs (she's 4yo). She is glued to me most of the time we're together and always has been.
DD2 has just turned 2 and can entertain herself for 1/2hr or so now (I obviously keep a check on her during that time). She is fully engrossed and won't notice if I'm there or not. At 12mo I could definitely have left her for 5 or 10 mins without her noticing/being bothered.

Intheprimeoflime · 03/07/2018 22:18

Totally normal in this house! Ds will happily play if I'm in the room but if i go out he is very distressed. I think it must be normal! I'm lucky as have construed play pen thing in kitchen so he can play happily yet safely while i actually GET STUFF DONE! RESULT!

Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 05:58

Thanks all for the responses, they've made me feel better, even if the bottom line is that there is no solution!

I obviously check on her every couple of mins if I do leave her on her own. Although if Peppa is on she's so engrossed she won't move a muscle! If no TV she will be happily climbing something she shouldn't/eating a candle/trying to knit with electric cables... until she gets upset that I've left.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 04/07/2018 05:59

It’s very normal. Even 10’mins is surprising tbh

Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 05:59

P.S. house is baby proofed as much as poss with plug protectors, things that stop the doors from closing fully, cupboard locks etc etc. Don't think I could cope with not being able to leave her even for a minute.

OP posts:
eurochick · 04/07/2018 06:27

Plug protectors are dangerous. Google it. There's a lot of information out there.

I'm amazed you can leave the room for 5-10 minutes. I couldn't have left mine at all at that age.

Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 06:54

Really? They're commonly used in FS classrooms so that's v surprising, esp considering how paranoid schools tend to be about health & safety.

Okay, I'm reassured that she's totally normal. Thanks all Smile

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Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 06:58

Wow. Just did a quick read up on it. Thank you @eurochick. Off to remove them all & will inform any schools I work at where I see them!

OP posts:
Mummymummymummmeeeee · 04/07/2018 07:06

Have you heard of the wonder weeks? - if you haven't it's a book / app that describes how babies and children go through sudden leaps in their brain development. While it's happening and their world has suddenly changed they are extra fussy and clingy and might not sleep so well, then after that you will notice they can do things that they couldn't before and they will be happier and less clingy. There is a mental leap at 15 months so this might explain your LOs behavior - it might help to know it's not anything you're doing wrong and should improve on it's own.
At this age I tended to get more done at nap time, or taking a long time to get anything done with DS1 'helping'. He can now play really well independently at nearly 3 but I have 3 month old DS2 - so not getting much done at all again!

TittyGolightly · 04/07/2018 07:10

Normal. If you think about it, not so long ago a toddler left alone for a few minutes would have been easy prey for a sabre toothed tiger (or other animal). We haven’t changed much since then, so that’s your child’s instinctive response if she can’t see you even if it’s only been a minute or two.

Massive separation anxiety phase incoming too, with 18 months the peak.

What are you needing to get done?

Mummymummymummmeeeee · 04/07/2018 07:13

If you've got space I used to use a travel cot in the living room as a play pen if I had to leave DS1 for 5 min eg. to go to toilet etc, until the day he got big enough to climb out :/ at least all he had done when I found him was help himself to a packet of stickers!

Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 07:45

@Mummymummymummmeeeee... Yeah I used Wonder Weeks when she was v little but wasn't really a fan, thanks though Smile She doesn't enjoy being cooped up in a travel cot tbh. Used to work when she was much younger but not now. Find Peppa on the tablet is a better option than that.

@TittyGolightly Make a meal/wash up/clean my teeth/get dressed/put on make-up. The usual.

OP posts:
Original poster
likeacrow · 04/07/2018 07:45

I'm reassured now anyway & will just roll with it so thanks v much all for the responses. Smile

OP posts:
RubyGrace17 · 04/07/2018 08:12

Very normal. My DDs are still like this! Think it’s partly their personality. Like yours, they will happily sit in front of CBeebies and not move a muscle for as long as I will let them. I limit it obviously and reassure myself since the huge majority of the time they are getting my full attention, 30 mins in front of Number Blocks etc. isn’t so bad!

BendingSpoons · 04/07/2018 08:26

Can you give her toys/objects in the room you are in e.g. DD liked playing with empty shampoo bottles etc or plastic cups. She is then near you but you can hopefully do what you need? DD would follow me room to room at that age.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 04/07/2018 08:57

Hi OP, I haven't rtft. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My youngest is 2. I couldn't go for a pee without her screaming the place down wanting to sit on my lap.
The only thing that worked for me is 'getting her to help' few examples

  • when doing laundry, I would sort it out and ask her if she could help mummy put it in the machine. She did this whilst I washed up.
  • cleaning, I have her a clean cloth to help mummy polish. She would happily help.
  • when I needed the toilet, I would grab a piece of paper and a pencil and ask her to sit on floor and ask her to do me a lovely picture.

This went on for a while until became normal.

Then the next stage was the 'lets have a race'
See if you can put all those puzzle pieces in the correct hole before Mummy washes up.

  • see if you can build a tower with the duplo before mummy gets out of toilet. Etc.

Now, I can usually move around the home freely whilst DD just plays. I do this in short bursts. I will give her 15 mins of independent play, will get what I need doing done, pop into the room she is in and have a quick play with her. I will then get up and say 'back in a minute, Mummy just needs to do this' she is fine.

She still enjoys putting the laundry into the machine. She also hands me the pegs for when I put washing out.

EmmaJR1 · 04/07/2018 10:21

Your post makes me so happy! (Sorry!) my son is 14 months and I have a 2 week old too. My son has started tantrumming and whining for the last month. If I try to leave the room he flings his whole body backwards arms above his head going "ohhhhhh ohhhhh" ffs! I felt so guilty bringing a new baby home and making him feel misplaced.

I did some research and found loads of stuff in separation anxiety which made me feel marginally better but to read how common this is really has set my mind at rest. Sorry it's hard for you but I'm grateful you shared!