Should a 1 y/o be able to entertain themselves?

[likeacrow]

My 15 month old is becoming increasingly incapable of being left for longer than 5 or 10 minutes. If I try to wash up or make meals she clings onto my legs, if I go upstairs (for longer than 5-10 mins) she stands at the bottom of the stairs screaming. The only way I can get anything done is if I stick her in front of CBeebies or Peppa Pig She plays beautifully with toys and looks at books independently if I'm sat in the vicinity but if I try to leave the room it's only a matter of time before the screaming starts...

She's can even be funny with DH if I'm there. If I'm not she's absolutely fine.

Is this normal or are we doing something very wrong?

Make a meal/wash up/clean my teeth/get dressed/put on make-up. The usual

Have her help you with the meal
Wash up when she naps/is in bed
Clean her teeth when you clean yours
Can’t she be with you when you’re getting dressed/putting on make up?

Honestly it's this age when your NCT group comes into its own I reckon. If anyone's off work still, or at home on the same days as you, arrange a regular play date. Having 2 adults and 2 babies is so much easier than 1-on-1. If it's an adult they know and see regularly they might just let you out of sight and if not, at least you can make a cup of tea.

An hour of screen time is far too much. Google the damage it does to your child's brain development.

Like fun it does Mitch. I was stuck in front of the TV constantly as a child and I've got a Phd. It's the stuff that goes along with screen time that damages children's brain development, not the screen time itself.

What valleydad said

Thanks all. Some reassuring responses and interesting suggestions, a lot of which I do already do. I shan't be getting her at 15 months old to help prepare tea however. The kid eats paper and candles. Delia she is not... 😂

The PP with the screen time comment. Rest assured I do stacks with her the rest of the time. Taking her to various groups, looking at approx 20-30 books a days (possibly more), and of course plenty of cuddling, tickling, talking, I just resort to Peppa to get essential stuff done.

It can go in phases. Sometimes you can't leave the room without grief for a few months, then you don't get as much as a wave when leaving them at Granny's the next month. Who knows what goes through their heads As others have said, enjoy the time with her and it'll pass.

I shan't be getting her at 15 months old to help prepare tea however. The kid eats paper and candles. Delia she is not... 😂

Get a helper pod and have her with you when you come ok. A mushroom and a table knife amuses them for hours. Mine was cooking scrambled egg from scratch before 3.

TittyGolightly

Fab idea! Unfortunately we very much do not have a spare £100 knocking about.

Honestly, getting her to help prepare food in our tiny kitchen would be a complete nightmare for a variety of reasons. But thank you.

Honestly, getting her to help prepare food in our tiny kitchen would be a complete nightmare for a variety of reasons. But thank you.
In the same situation, I would just put DS on the kitchen floor with a few empty cartons, plastic plates, wooden spoon ect and let him play while I prepared food around him. I would never have felt confident leaving him alone for 5-10 mins as he was (and still is) too much of a liability!

Use pots and spons to create drumming sounds with her and then leave her explore them.

Put her on a feeding chair to eat by herself, baby led weanig style, and while she eats u can finish the kitchen.

Reduce amount of work u need done per day.

During her nap utilize that time to finish essentials.

My son is younger than yours so maybe those ideas don’t apply to her age but this is my schedule with my clingy 5.5 month old baby:

• Give him toys on the bed while I fix my hair and quick fix my face
• put him in the play gym while I finish the bedroom tidying up ( you can use an alternative ), the play gym is in my room.

• put him on the door jumper ( which overlooks the corridor) , while I finish the laundry in the corridor and the toilet quickly , while singing to him and peaking every few mins.

• he falls asleep, when he is asleep I do some preparation for dinner and emptying dishwasher etc ( I meal plan and so I have half the procedure frozen from the weekend and don’t need more than 30 mins in the kitchen).

• when he wakes up I bring him to living room and put him on his swing and with a toy play with him a little then do my exercise.

If he doesn’t let me then I put him in his prom and go for a walk instead . I put him in his car seat/bouncer and bring him with me into the toilet while I shower and most times I bring him with me to the shower and shower him too or keep him in his bath ( I don’t do bath time routine at night I just wash bum with water at night and do bath times when I’m showering else I can’t manage).

• while I’m nursing him I work on the laptop or read stuff online /emails. The laptop is in the place I nurse , so is my notebook and ipad, laundry basket at times and sewing kit at times. I have three spots in the house where I usually nurse.

• during his second nap I try to finish floors quickly and counter tops.

That’s as much as I get done in a day. Tired just typing it up.

I can imagine it’s very different for u , I have no experience to advise , but in case it helps, try just make your routine based around hers .. my son doesn’t really have a routine but he has few things that must be done in a day so I schedule myself around him... trying to get him into a routine though because things are hard to manage still.

Cut down joe much work u need to do in the house by decluttering and investing in good cleanings tools that save time so on.

When he is super clingy and can’t accept to be anywhere besides my arms , I vacuum clean around the house with one hand while carrying him.. and if it gets too long ( if he is agitated due to an event that made him anxious - vaccination), then I carry him in my baby Bjorne while I do small urgent duties such as online shopping ( yes would have to put laptop on a high surface and work while I’m rocking him back and forth).

When we are having dinner, if he isn’t sleeping ( usually not), I put him in his high chair and put all the high chair toys I can think of, as well as give him cold things to chew on.. give him attention every now and then while eating but spend time with dh as well.

I’m wondering when is the next developmental hurdle !

I try to invite people around to the house once a week , that way I can give them the baby while I do some quick cleaning / cooking.

I also try to give him to his dad when it’s the weekend for a bit until one of them is bored ( usually half an hour at a time ).

I found that the local gym does 2 hours free childcare so might send baby with his dad on weekends while I finish the meal planning

I do feel like I’m gonna go crazy at the end f all this

Sound like it will only get more intense ... bring it on !

Totally normal!

LOVE baby wearing when my littles are going through these stages. Well, actually, I just love it all the time! (Trips to the grocery store are infinitely easier when I know they are securely on my body and not running away--a toddler's favorite game!)

Here in the US, the brands I have loved for a back carry, (most comfortable for tots and preschoolers), are Tula, Lillebaby, Sakura Bloom, and Ergo. I even have an old Ergo I'd mail you!

Laundry, dishes, cooking, errands...content on my back and I have both hands to do what a mom has gotta do!

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about a little screen time as long as she is getting plenty of active play, conversation and games with you, and daily reading. And not within 2 hours of bedtime! :)

Please don't worry about screen time, my 21 month old gets an hour at least a day when I am prepping meals, showering etc. She also gets taken to a playgroup or class etc every day and we read loads, do crafts together etc. Her talking ability is way above most of her peers. Last week she asked me, 'where does wind come from?' which stumped me!

Must be fine then.

Obviously screen time can be a bad thing if a child is just plonked down in front of it all day long with very little other stimulation.

It's very different when a child is in a loving and stimulating environment, and the mother uses short bursts of screen time to enable her to get things done.

I think a lot of the condemnation of screen time comes from a general trend of condemning mothers for taking 'shortcuts' to make their life easier. If you haven't done it the hard way, you're a bad mother.

For me, it is much better for my mental well-being if my toddler watches YouTube for 5 mins so I can clean teeth/ brush hair/ put on a minimum of makeup, and then we spend the rest of the time playing with my full attention on her. The alternative is a rough hour where neither of us is happy because I'm trying to do 101 things at once while also half playing with her.

I don't think you should feel the need to justify yourself @DerfelCadarn, but for what it's worth I 100% agree. My DD gets stacks of love and attention from me and I'm going to continue using Peppa & CBeebies when I need to. All hail modern technology! 👐

You don’t actually know the impact of the screen though, whether for 5 minutes or 5 hours. It’s not about making you unhappy, it’s about the impact on a rapidly developing brain and the impact of a being that is meant to be moving and exploring being passive and still.

Our babies are basically guinea pigs for modern life. We don’t know what impact it has, or whether all the books and baby groups offset it.

Titty.

Let's agree that we'll raise our own children as we see fit then.

@likeacrow Thanks It means a lot as I suffered from severe PND and can often doubt myself

@DerfelCadarn I can relate. It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. The pp with the PhD who said they had lots of screen time as a kid made me feel better! It's a means to an end isn't it and we're all doing the best we can.