The parent's bedroom - what are your house rules?

[Othersideofthechannel]

and how old are your kids?

I'm just getting a bit fed up of DS (4) leading DD (2.6)into our room to play and then trashing it. Dragging the duvet off the bed etc is all very well in their rooms when it's part of imaginative play but not ours.
Until now they have always wandered in and out with toys in the morning while we are all getting ready but now I have started leaving them to play upstairs alone, they are going in by themselves. I think it might be time to set a new rule : no playing in parent's room unless they are in there (this is how it was in my childhood as far back as I can remember ie age 7).

Are they actually damaging things, or just having fun? Or something inbetween?

It sounds like you want them not to play in there, and they want to play in there! Ask yourself what is it about the playing in your room that is not ok with you. I do this when i am unhappy with a behaviour and it can be very enlightening as to my motives for wanting something.

Sometimes explaining that you know duvets are fun to drag about and hide in and highlighting that they have there own to do that with, rather than making a rule (even more fun to break one of those) can work really well.

My children are welcome in my room at any time as long as they respect my space. In turn, i am welcome in their room as long as i respect their space too.

They are free to come and go as they please BUT no crisps or biscuit crumbs must be detected by me later in bed (v. uncomfortable) and definitely no friends allowed in.

Dd is just 6 and can come into our bedroom while either dh or I are there, but otherwise it's out of bounds. There's nothing in there for her, she has no need to be in there on her own. It's our space, and although she can come in to share it for cuddles and a chat in the morning, it's not somewhere I want her to have free rein when she's on her own. She isn't allowed to take her friends in there either (although it's the first place they try to sneak into), but they are allowed to play in the spare bedroom.

Same for us in her room; it's her space. We go in there when she's there, but otherwise we don't (apart from to muck it out ).

Not damaging things, just having fun and messing it up. When they play in there they bring in lots of their toys.

I think I'd like just one room in the house to stay tidy. To have a sanctuary. Perhaps unrealistic with kids this age?

Plus it's a pain having to tidy up before you crash into bed in the evening. We have to check under the duvet for cars and plastic dinosaurs!

Don't have any rules tbh - oh, except no jumping on the bed.

Red rag to a bull though

That is good advice squid (asking yourself what it is about their behaviour that you don't like).

We live in a small bungalow, so from crawling age both kids have had access to our room.

I must admit, I also get a bit tired of repeatedly having to put everything back (especially as I often find DDs dolls wearing my knickers on its head, or find potatos in my undie draw!).

I haven't done much about it, but I think it is the lack of respect for other peoples stuff that anoys me abit.

Perhaps I'll put my foot down too.

Wigwambam, sounds like what I'd like to acheive. How long has it been like this?
I definitely wouldn't want friends going in there although not an issue so far.

No, I'm with you, Othersideofthechannel. I have to pick lego and bits of pretend food from the playhouse out of our bed on a regular basis, plus they pull the duvet up and bounce...

we are moving soon and the first rule in the new house will be our room is out of bounds if we aren't there. I would like a sanctuary too .

mine (5 & almost 2) are forever sneaking off upstairs to "bounce mummy daddy bed" as dd puts it. the conspiring they do is so sweet i don't really mind. do complain if they try & leap around when we're in bed though. otherwise, the children can go anywhere - it's their house too.

Children are welcome in the room when we're there but no jumping on the bed when we're in it.

DDs room is the former spare room and has a double bed in it which they have access too for flopping, hiding under big duvet etc. No jumping for the sake of the mattress.

I am completely torn on this

on one hand I want a nice calm oasis in the chaos of my life, on the other hand ds adores mucking about in there and we do have the best bed(s) for playing on

my dad was rather tiresomely strict about children in the bedroom and I still resent it years later

I do let him come in and rumpus (and encourage friends to do so as it is such a good room for rough play - basically it is 10 foot of futon and that's about it) but they are only 4 at the moment

your room your rules, I reckon

Otherside, it's just always been one of the ground rules ever since she began to want to play on her own - I suppose she was about 2.5 - 3. We set the boundaries and have been consistent with them, and she has always stuck to them - maybe we've just been lucky.

oh a family I worked for had one of those little hooks above the door on the outside of their bedroom, so you just clasp it shut when you are not inside

they had similar rule of no children in there unaccompanied and this enforced it

My children are allowed in our room. They jump on the bed and DS is a bit obsessed with my deodorant but that's about all. They know what they can play with and what they can't, so far it seems to work (apart from the deodorant!)

My parents room was always out of bounds which is why I think I have gone the other way.

open season in our room

do object to the sweet wrappers and old socks but things improved considerably since we fitted a LOCK!

Not allowed in if we're not in it. Allowed to come in the night if they need a cuddle or have had a bad dream. We've still got a baby sleeping there, which is a good incentive for them to stay out.

I don't remember being bothered about not going into my parent's room pre-teens although when older I definitely snuck in there when home alone with friends to try on bags and shoes and make-up.

It wasn't an issue when DS started playing upstairs alone because he stayed in his room. It's only been recently since DD has been allowed up with him that it has become an exciting place for them to be alone.

So I think I'll try setting a new rule and consider the lock if enforcement proves tricky.

Our bedroom is off limits unless we are in there. Its my only sanctuary - the only room in the house where the cream carpet still looks cream and isn't covered in biscuit crumbs, trodden in raisins and Thomas the Tank engine paraphenelia.

Not my room. Not while I am not in there. My room is mine, it's the only thing left that is mine, and it is staying mine.

The girls come and go whenever they like in our room. They never mess anything though and as they've got older they don't play in there very much tbh. I do insist they take anything away with them that they leave behind but thats about it. Definitely no friends allowed in though!

Should have added they are usually in there preening in front of the mirror .

same as colditz

My room is a tip, all the junk that no one else wants gets put i there, so the kids generally don't want to play in there.

I dream of a lovely nicely deocrated bedroom, all tiday and just bloody nice LOL.

No rules and not bothered about having any either. I want them to feel comfortable everywhere in our house.