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Parenting

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Original poster

The parent's bedroom - what are your house rules?

61 replies

Othersideofthechannel · 25/05/2007 19:50

and how old are your kids?

I'm just getting a bit fed up of DS (4) leading DD (2.6)into our room to play and then trashing it. Dragging the duvet off the bed etc is all very well in their rooms when it's part of imaginative play but not ours.
Until now they have always wandered in and out with toys in the morning while we are all getting ready but now I have started leaving them to play upstairs alone, they are going in by themselves. I think it might be time to set a new rule : no playing in parent's room unless they are in there (this is how it was in my childhood as far back as I can remember ie age 7).

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pointydog · 25/05/2007 22:44

mmmm.. we don't have rules but I suppose we must have somehow discouraged kids from playing in our room because they have never really done it and I don't particularly want them to make a mess there. Our bedrooms have never had much floor space - maybe that's helped.

Now dds are 10 and 8. They can read on our bed if they want to get away from each other and they can look in our mirror when they want or lie with the cat. They can go in when they want basically.

LynetteScavo · 25/05/2007 22:50

When DS1 was an only child and I was pregnant with DS2, I designated my bed a quiet zone. It sort of worked. I still found my self rolling over onto plastic miniture pirates in the middle of the night.

OUr bed is about to die, so all 3 DC's know they are not to bounce on it. There is some curiosity about DH's bedroom drawer, as he has money in it. They know not to touch my bedside table drawer, as I don't want my engagement ring or vaginal toning weights messed with.

LynetteScavo · 25/05/2007 22:51

Oh, and they're 8, 4 and nearly 2.

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elsieanjoanne · 26/05/2007 16:44

my dd is v.nearly one so she still comes in for morning cuddle an bottle of milk despite the fact i leave it in the cot an on the odd occasion she drinks it in her room!
when i was small i remember we were not allowed in my moms room on many occasion if i had had a bad deam i would wait outside of her room till she come out to me!
I think when dd is older she will only be allowed in there with permission! as i hate falling over dolly or getting in bed with singing ted!

jalopy · 26/05/2007 17:13

I consider our bedroom a sanctuary. Even when they were little they were not allowed to jump on the bed. In fact, our bedroom is quite empty so there is little to interest them. No friends allowed either. They can play in the rest of the house. Them's the rules.

motherinferior · 26/05/2007 17:37

Don't have any. It's a nice room to play in.

Aimsmum · 26/05/2007 18:01

Message withdrawn

Dogsby · 26/05/2007 18:01

mine never htink of going into mine to play
havenever said owt baotu it

Dogsby · 26/05/2007 18:02

woudltn bladry let em though

motherinferior · 26/05/2007 18:03

I suppose we do hide the rubber outfits and mahoosive sex toys.

Judy1234 · 26/05/2007 18:21

I don't have a rule but there's nothing in there to play with. I don't think they often go in unless with a friend and exploring the whole house. I don't like them in there. We didn't play in my parents' room. Now they're older the attraction of pplaying in it has gone. They did used to jump around on the bed and mess it up whilst I was having a shower which was annoying but just a brief phase.

The person below who mentioned the high up hook - that's a good plan. If physically they can't get in that always works.

foxinsocks · 26/05/2007 18:28

yes I agree - mine are older (5 and 6) and there's nothing in my room that they would want to play with so they, generally, don't go in there.

Sometimes, if they are mucking about too much at bedtime, I'll take one of them out and put them in our bed till they've dropped off and then put them back in their room and they also come into our bed in the morning for a cuddle but that's about it really.

Perhaps just plonk their toys back in their room every time they try and play in your room and hopefully, they'll get the message. If there's nothing of interest in your room, they'll probably stop going in.

chipmonkey · 26/05/2007 19:20

Ds3 thinks moisturiser and GHD's are good to play with though.

Original poster

Othersideofthechannel · 27/05/2007 07:29

I do a daily 'returning toys to their rooms' session but DD is young enough to find a drawer of socks fun and DS likes to hide under the duvet and pretend he's a dragon. I'm sure they'll grow out of it but as I'm not patient enough to wait that long, I'll be ordering them out a fair bit until the message has sunk in.

OP posts:

ghosty · 27/05/2007 07:57

We have an open door policy to our bedroom - for OUR children.
But when they have friends round our room is strictly out of bounds. I can just about cope with my kids trashing my room - and tbh they don't really, except mess up the bed when jumping on it, but if other people's kids trash my room I get really upset. I don't know why.
Also, other children are nosey. My children aren't nosey about our house and our stuff - that's boring isn't it ... they probably are at other people's houses though.
If a child that wasn't mine opened a drawer and got a condom out or something I would die of shame

wheresthevalium · 27/05/2007 09:27

Ha, could have done with this thread, this is me a few weeks ago!

I have now put in the rule that Mummy's bedroom is OUT OF BOUNDS except when I am in there.

The final straw was DD2 (aged 3.6) posting my engagement ring through the floorboards, she isn't sure which ones though

It seems to me that the easiest way is an absolute ban, otherwisethey are young enough to get confused.

Dottydot · 27/05/2007 09:33

ds's can play in our bedroom, no worries - and yes, our duvet ends up on the floor (it's a space rocket, don't you know) with all their soft toys on top of it. The pillows get stacked up in the doorway (wall to jump over...). Very cute and keeps them occupied for a reasonable length of time (10 minutes sometimes).

But the one rule is no playing in it when other children come round. We tend just to shut the door and remind ds's and they're fine.

NomDePlume · 27/05/2007 09:40

The kids (15, 13.5 & 4.5) know that they must knock before they come into our room, and they are not to go in our room when we are not there unless they have either mine, or DH's permission.

Thankfully though none of my kids have ever been bothered about my room. They are just not interested.

Trinityrhino · 27/05/2007 09:47

we have a ps2 in our room so thats a big attraction for dd1 (6) but she still isn't allowed in without us. didn't used to be an issue but then she was taking her friends in there to jump on the bed and thats not on.

foxinsocks · 27/05/2007 09:48

I must admit, I don't think I'm very hot on rules. The only rule I have is that no food goes upstairs after I spent a whole night rolling around in custard cream crumbs .

This sort of thing does get easier as they get older and understand the whole respecting space thing.

LoveMyGirls · 27/05/2007 09:59

It's not seriously out of bounds but they dont play in there, they have their own room and all of downstairs to play in. If they did start wanting to play in our room the answer would be no, it's our space, i don't want my make up/ perfume ruined or the bed i've made to be a mess etc.

Anna8888 · 27/05/2007 10:51

My daughter's bedroom opens off our bedroom, as well as off the hall, so she has all her toys, books etc very near our room and can play in it while still keeping an eye on what I am doing when I am in my room getting dressed etc. She only "plays" in our room when using our massive double bed as a trampoline - there isn't much of interest in there anyway as we don't keep any clothes in the bedroom and all make up etc is in our bathroom.

Our bedroom is definitely out of bounds to other children.

gemmiegoatlegs · 27/05/2007 10:54

my ds loves "going on a bear hunt" under our big duvet with a torch. I don't mind at all until they start rifling through the drawers pulling out objects like my make up and the (unopened) thai love beads I won at an ann summers party (how can i explain what they are when i don't really know myself?!)

as a child i was not allowed in mums bedroom ever. Very occassionally when i was 9 or 10 she would let me and my sister into her bed to watch twin peaks on TV.

I think she was scared to watch it on her own!

NomDePlume · 27/05/2007 10:55

no jumping on beds here. We have a huge trampoline in the garden for that and DD has a smaller Barbie trampoline in her bedroom too. No need for bed bouncing.

Anna8888 · 27/05/2007 11:00

NdP - all kinds of things go on in our flat that didn't happen in my family when I was a child because we lived in a house with, crucially, a big garden. But here in central Paris a big garden (or even a tiny garden) is impossible to find, so yes, we have bed trampolining, tricyle and scooter riding in the hall, corridor football...

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