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Parenting

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Original poster

Checking on baby when you go to bed

35 replies

Desmondo2016 · 01/07/2018 22:29

18 month old dreamy sleeper. I still have a video monitor on her but dont enter her room at all once she's gone to bed. Just interested as I had a debate on another site and apparently not checking on them 'in the flesh ' so to speak, makes me an awful mum!

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NapQueen · 01/07/2018 22:32

Once mine went into their own room we left them to it unless they cried/shouted. The fear of waking them plus really Im not one of those who coos over a cot and sobs "I miss them". I see enough of them in the daytime.

pastabest · 01/07/2018 22:34

Makes me an awful mum as well then.

We have really creaky floorboards, there's no way I'm going anywhere near my toddler's room to check on her unless she is ill and needs checking on.

She's generally happy and safe in her room, if she wants us she shouts. Loudly.

Doyoumind · 01/07/2018 22:35

Each to their own. I still check on school aged DC each and every night.

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Icklepickle101 · 01/07/2018 22:36

I check DS every night, I don’t really know what I’m checking for but normally adjust the covers a bit and give him a kiss on the head

CoodleMoodle · 01/07/2018 22:37

Once DD went into her own room (at 14 months) we didn't dare check on her! She was a very light (crap) sleeper and we barely breathed if we did have to go in there for any reason.

Now she's 4 we do go and check on her before bed, but nowadays she sleeps like a log: we can pick her up and move her and she won't stir. Been like that since she was about 2.

SassitudeandSparkle · 01/07/2018 22:38

No video monitors here but yes, always checked her as a baby and still do now she is much older! No sobbing or cooing, just a glance.

I saw a discussion on this years ago on another forum, it had genuinely never occurred to some people to check on their children once they had fallen asleep (on that occasion, they were in the minority). I don't recall anyone sobbing over the bed though

furryelephant · 01/07/2018 22:38

DD is 20 months and still in my bed room and I wake up with a panic to check on her multiple times a night

WhispersOfWickedness · 01/07/2018 22:39

I didn't check on mine until they were at least 3 or 4, and I didn't have a video monitor, just a normal baby monitor (and then not after about 2yo).
I had spent that long getting them to go to sleep, there was no way I was risking waking them up again!! Especially as there was a good chance I'd see them during the night anyway

Badwifey · 01/07/2018 22:40

I check my 4 year old about 30 mins after I put her to bed and then again before I go to bed myself.

I still use a monitor (sound only) only because I'm difficult to wake lately as I'm constantly shattered

Whitelisbon · 01/07/2018 22:40

I check all of mine before I go to bed.
It's pre-emptive though, I pick up lost teddies, adjust covers, remove noisy toys/books etc, so I'm not going in an hour later because a teddy is on the floor and therefore lost forever, or someone's stabbed themselves in the eye with a book, or someone's rolled onto woody who's shouted "there's a snake in my boot" and terrified said someone (all actual occurrences in this house).
Although, I check on dd (15) too, and she normally moans because she's still awake

CoffeeAndToffee · 01/07/2018 22:43

I always look in on all my DC but instead of shedding a tear because I'm missing them I'm usually pumping my fist in celebration that FINALLY they are silent for the first time in 14 hours and I can have a cuppa in peace!

SmittenApril · 01/07/2018 22:46

I always check on mine but it's just habit, not sure when I started it but I always check on them, feels weird to me if I don't.

Lana1234 · 01/07/2018 22:48

I check on my 10mo DS before bed. Don’t know why really but it gives me peace of mind to get to sleep myself. Don’t judge you or anyone else for not doing so though.

Pastaagain78 · 01/07/2018 22:48

You have w video monitor. You are checking on her.

cliffdiver · 01/07/2018 22:50

DDs are 4 and 6 and I check on them every night - check they're sleeping the right way, give them a kiss, tell them I love them.

Can't imagine not checking on them before I go to bed even if it is 2 hours after.

mamalovebird · 01/07/2018 23:01

Mine are 8 & 5 and I still check on them on my way to bed.... mainly to untangle bedsheets, turn off night lights (my dd has 2 on to fall asleep to, so I turn off one once she's asleep), open/close windows, refill water cups and give them a kiss. They probably don't need any of it but it's just habit now.

Lozxx · 01/07/2018 23:03

My boy is 1 years old, we have a monitor and I go into check on him loads. I'm such a worry mum. I wonder when you should stop using monitors?

Faster · 01/07/2018 23:03

I have to check on DS, just turned one. Cos we sleepcin the same bed. Can’t get away from him.

honeysucklejasmine · 01/07/2018 23:05

Yes, I check on them both. I use audio monitors for them both too. Not doing so doesn't make you an awful mum, but doing so doesn't make you a helicopter parent either.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 01/07/2018 23:06

I check on mine (2 and 6) before I go to bed. Not to admire them sleeping or anything, just to ensure that I’m all set up for a decent sleep. If a key teddy or something has escaped the bed or if they are too hot I can adjust before going to bed. This avoids the stirring 1 minute after I turn my light off to go to sleep.

Mindchilder · 01/07/2018 23:07

Mine are quite heavy sleepers and I don't have a monitor - I go in and poke them to check they're breathing and often have to move their position or put them back in bed if they are asleep on the floor

Windydayz · 01/07/2018 23:13

No you're not a bad mum. I check on my dc every 45 mins or so before i go to bed and one final check before bed. 3yo own room and 6m old has audio monitor. Its habit.

kikibo · 01/07/2018 23:15

We tend to leave a light on jntil we go up, just to avoid having to turn one on if DD cries. So once we go up, I go and turn it off. Sometimes she's awake, sometimes not. If she is, she gets a kiss, if not, I don't, as it could wake her up.

I might actually stop the light now because frankly there's no point.

BounceAndClimb · 01/07/2018 23:20

I check on DD (5) as she sleeps with her door open. I don't check on DD (1) every night as she has her door shut and it makes a noise opening it, but we have a video monitor and if I haven't heard her shuffle or make a noise in the last 15-30 minutes before bed then I'll check on her. (she does a lot of sighing in her sleep or turns her head which the monitor picks up as rustling so usually I've heard her and won't open the door).

wejammin · 01/07/2018 23:21

I check in on both mine, I can't sleep if I haven't at least looked in on them. To be honest, I do listen for them breathing which I know is a bit mental but it reassures me. Also, we're having some defiance issues with DS aged 6, and he looks so peaceful and angelic when he's asleep that it makes me feel a bit better.

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