Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Dummy cold turkey hell

44 replies

ktwatsonlancs · 21/06/2018 06:31

I need help! Just had a terrible night with my 4 month dd. Background- she has suffered from terrible wind and reflux also, and in the end we ended up giving her a dummy as sucking was the ONLY thing to soothe her. Now the reflux and wind is much better, but she has become reliant on her dummy. Problem is, whenever she wakes up she can’t settle without it so I’m up constantly putting it back in for her during the night. (She is currently in our room next to our bed.) I decided to go cold turkey last night to put an end to it, having tried and failed to replace the dummy with other comforters. She fell asleep on her bedtime feed so no issue there, then around 9 woke and started crying for the dummy. I didn’t give in and after about 30 mins she was asleep. She woke at 1 for her feed, fell asleep but when I put her down woke and after about ten mins stared crying for her dummy. This is went on for an hour!!!! Then she started to quieten down, so I leaned over to check on her. Big mistake. She saw me and the whole thing began again. After the second hour hubby came in (he’s in the spare room weeknights as he’s at work and gets our toddler up and ready in the morning) to check what was going on. By that point she was frantic, I was distraught so I gave in and picked her up and put her dummy in. She settled but then woke up 45 mins later with wind due to all the crying. She’s just got back off to sleep with the dummy. I want to try again tonight but am dreading it to be honest, I’m absolutely shattered and the whole thing was horribly distressing. Any tips/advice/experiences please? Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BendydickCuminsnatch · 21/06/2018 06:35

In my view, she’s so so tiny still and it will only be a few more months before she can find her dummy herself and put it back in (DS is 7 months and has been able to for a while). I’d personally wait to ditch the dummy until she’s much older and open to bribery 🤣 especially if it’s helping her in other ways. But seriously, at 4 months I tend to just do whatever makes them happy (it’s probably just laziness on my part to be honest, but anything for an easy life!).

Chottie · 21/06/2018 06:40

She is only 4 months old and has terrible wind and reflux. If a dummy gives her comfort and settles her, in my view let her have it.

Personally, I would be concentrating on sorting out her wind and reflux first.

Original poster

ktwatsonlancs · 21/06/2018 06:44

The wind and reflux are better now, no issues there anymore thankfully.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families General health

myotherbagisgucci · 21/06/2018 07:26

My 6 month DD has reflux (now on Anti reflux milk and Ranitidine and is now happy) and I let her have a dummy whenever she wants! If it helps your baby to be comforted, why not let her have one?

00100001 · 21/06/2018 07:27

She's still wee. Let he have it

Postymalone · 21/06/2018 07:27

Don’t be so cruel. She’s 4 months old.

Steeley113 · 21/06/2018 07:29

She’s 4 months, just let her have it. I wouldn’t leave a 4 month old screaming for an hour and I’m not against sleep training at all.

AlbusPercival · 21/06/2018 07:34

I’d leave it.

DS was dummy obsessed from 3-6 months. I spent a fortune on them.

At 6 months I bought the bigger size. He stopped using them overnight. He’s nearly two now and found one the other day. He didn’t know what to do with it

strawberrypenguin · 21/06/2018 07:39

Let her keep the dummy. It comforts her and let's you get sleep. She won't have it forever but 4 months is still very tiny.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 21/06/2018 07:44

My DD was 3 months when I got rid of her dummy.

It was the best thing I ever did

10 times a night i would have to go in and see her to replace it. I was unable to function on so little sleep as I was not going back to sleep each time I had to go in and see her. If I had carried that on because I felt guilty that she was "still so little" and pretty sure I would have had a breakdown.

1st night OP was tough. She cried for half an hour until she fell asleep. 2nd night 20 mins. 3rd night same. 4th night, she found her thumb and from then on slept soundly for 14 hours a night.

If taking away the dummy is best for you and your sanity OP, then do it. She will learn to self soothe.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 21/06/2018 07:46

strawberry but I don't think the OP is getting sleep. Not when she has to keep putting it back in during the night.

Original poster

ktwatsonlancs · 21/06/2018 07:49

Thank you for all the advice, it is appreciated. (Although I think saying I’m ‘cruel’ is hurtful in the extreme and not particularly constructive or even advice.) I would happily let her continue with the dummy if she slept with it; however I’m putting it back in up to ten times a night so neither of us are getting much sleep with it. It’s really difficult, I hate letting her cry and she is still so small but at the same time I’m exhausted and have another child to look after as well.

OP posts:

LoafEater · 21/06/2018 07:53

Buy the poor baby the next size dummy up and give it to them.

GetInMaBelleh · 21/06/2018 07:54

I don’t think it’s cruel to try and wean from dummy but to leave her crying without comfort for an hour isn’t good (which is how I read it).

fullwashingbasket · 21/06/2018 08:00

I thought the point of these message boards and websites was to support and help other parents, but I’ve received a lot of judgement here in a very short space of time. I’m just trying to do my best, for me and my children, as I’m sure we all are. I was in tears during the night and I am again now thanks to some of the comments here. I’ve never posted before and I won’t be again. Thank you to the people who have tried to be helpful and supportive.

182yellowsnails · 21/06/2018 08:01

I read advice that if a baby was used to having a dummy it shouldn't be taken away before 6 months old because of an increased SIDS risk.

I remember the stage you're in now, luckily for me it didn't last too long and my little girl was very quickly finding the dummies and putting them back in herself. Putting about 5 around them in the cot helps.

GirlGang89 · 21/06/2018 08:02

It’s a hard one. I was always anti dummies before I had my 1st DD but we started using them as same thing, she had reflux. Early on we started only then letting her have it at night, same for my DD2 now - just night and nap times. It can be a bit more of a burden at first like people said though, they do quick learn to do it themselves. However, if you think about it - did you lose more sleep getting up and putting it back in or trying to settle her without?

I took away my DD1 dummy when she was 18m with minimal issues. She was old enough to understand it was gone but not so old enough that I had to use the ‘dummy fairy/father xmas’ etc to take it away.

If you decide to keep it perhaps consider the brand, both my girls have only liked tommee tippees ones. Brands such as mam and avent have really flat dummy teats and I found they fell out constantly! TT and Nuk have larger teats which smaller babies (from my opinion) seem to be able to keep in easier. Also try and introduce another form of comfort such as muslin or toy which she can form an attatchment to so that when you do decide to take it away for good she’s got that?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do! Xx

fullwashingbasket · 21/06/2018 08:04

Thank you.

fullwashingbasket · 21/06/2018 08:04

Thank you.

GetInMaBelleh · 21/06/2018 08:05

OP no one meant to hurt you. But I don’t know if you’ve read MN threads before but people don’t hold back! And A LOT of people definitely don’t hold back when it comes to letting young babies cry. You do need a thick skin when you post here, rightly or wrongly.

Personally I would stick with the dummy until 6 months, at which stage you could wean and start controlled crying to teach baby to self soothe. Comfort yourself by knowing that her having a dummy is reduced SIDS risk.

It is bloody hard and I’m sorry you are upset.

GetInMaBelleh · 21/06/2018 08:06

(Also you’ve had a NC fail)

Polly2345 · 21/06/2018 08:10

We went through a phase of putting it back in 10 times a night at a similar age. Solved it by putting about eight dummies in the cot - all spread around so wherever she felt for it she found one. Also, a night light so she could see to find it. She's now two and still has it to sleep with (not had it during the day since about 8 months). We're aiming to give her dummies to the Dummy Fairy shortly before she turns three - she'll he old enough to u derstand what we're doing.

Everyone I know who has given a child a dummy has then not gotten rid of it until somewhere between them being 2 and 3.

purplemunkey · 21/06/2018 08:14

Get a sleepytot. It's a bunny comforter with velcro loops to put dummies on, babies can find them themselves.

Our DD was the same - the endless dummy runs at night were driving us insane, I got the recommendation from here and it worked a treat. Occasionally she couldn't grab it herself or it had fallen out of the cot but drastically reduced dummy runs and as she got older she got better at getting it.

When we weaned her off dummies (MUCH later) the bunny alone became her comforter and she still takes him everywhere at 3.5yrs. ( We have 3 so she's always got one despite needing washing regularly!)

Airbiscuits · 21/06/2018 08:20

My two both used dummies, for the same reason as you. By 5 months they could put them back in themselves. And would go to bed with about 5 of them in the cot so they could locate them fast.

I didn't have the heart to get rid of them until embarrassingly late (4th birthday). But then it only took 1 night for each of them to settle.

They now have their adult teeth and they are beautifully straight so don't worry about that too much.

Kidssendingmenuts · 21/06/2018 08:27

Unfortunately I think we have all gone through the stage of the dummy falling out when they are younger and us having to get back up and put it in. It's one of the tests between parent and child to see if you can hack it 😂😂. Just keep the dummy for now, wait till they are older either 6 months or you can bribe them with Santa or the Easter bunny xx

Flip

1 2