Dummy cold turkey hell

[ktwatsonlancs]

I need help! Just had a terrible night with my 4 month dd. Background- she has suffered from terrible wind and reflux also, and in the end we ended up giving her a dummy as sucking was the ONLY thing to soothe her. Now the reflux and wind is much better, but she has become reliant on her dummy. Problem is, whenever she wakes up she can’t settle without it so I’m up constantly putting it back in for her during the night. (She is currently in our room next to our bed.) I decided to go cold turkey last night to put an end to it, having tried and failed to replace the dummy with other comforters. She fell asleep on her bedtime feed so no issue there, then around 9 woke and started crying for the dummy. I didn’t give in and after about 30 mins she was asleep. She woke at 1 for her feed, fell asleep but when I put her down woke and after about ten mins stared crying for her dummy. This is went on for an hour!!!! Then she started to quieten down, so I leaned over to check on her. Big mistake. She saw me and the whole thing began again. After the second hour hubby came in (he’s in the spare room weeknights as he’s at work and gets our toddler up and ready in the morning) to check what was going on. By that point she was frantic, I was distraught so I gave in and picked her up and put her dummy in. She settled but then woke up 45 mins later with wind due to all the crying. She’s just got back off to sleep with the dummy. I want to try again tonight but am dreading it to be honest, I’m absolutely shattered and the whole thing was horribly distressing. Any tips/advice/experiences please? Thanks.

Let her keep on with the dummies, a good nights sleep for everyone is surely the priority? We used to have a pot of dummies in the cot at night time so we knew where we could quickly find another one. Also we used to have a dummy clipped to a short strap attached to her (do they still sell them?) so the dummy was never lost.

I'd work on giving up the dummy later on.

Oh and before I had babies I was very anti dummy but soon changed my views!

I waited until my DD was 6 months when she started crawling. The crawling took her mind off it. I still give her it for naps and bedtimes but I'm going to try and get her off it all together soon. She is 8 months now

Buy more dummies
Keep near bed or cot do you can easily find
Cold turkey when she three or four

I remember having to get up to deal with almost dummy but that stage doesn't last long AND it's so much better than having to deal with an issue that requires you to be up and about, and functioning! I know it's still disturbed sleep but it's not disturbed plus having to be on form.

Mine dropped hers at about 18mths. She just seemed not to be that attached any more, and did not have it at nursery. So one night, I just didn't give it to her. She looked for it, for about half an hour, but then went to sleep and it was fine. Don't worry now about dropping the dummy. It's a problem for another day!

We had to get rid of DS' dummies at 4 months as he had back to back colds during his first year, poor thing. He was snotty all the time, couldn't breathe with dummy in, screamed for dummy, screamed because he couldn't breathe. It was a nightmare. It really didn't take long before he forgot them, 3 nights maybe? We didn't have a choice really and we wouldn't have let him keep it till 3 anyway.

I may get flamed for this but I'd rather train a 4 month old than a 1, 2 or 3 year old any day of the week.

You’re not going to get an unbroken night’s sleep with a 4mo baby anyway so just give her the dummy. You’ll eventually realise that anything that helps a baby sleep is worth it!

My three all had dummies. DD1 gave hers up at 1year, DS at 2years and DD2 hung on to hers (at night only) till she was 4. No need to ‘train’ them off dummies, they’ll stop using them in their own good time.

I was anti dummies pre babies too.

I weaned my baby off the dummy at 5 months for exactly the same reason - she'd ended up reliant on it to get to sleep and was waking lots in the night because she'd dropped it. You're not "cruel" because you want both of you to get more sleep!

Start with taking it away for daytime naps - the first couple were tough, but your willpower will be stronger in the day than the middle of the night. She cried for a good half hour the first time - but with me lying next to her, cuddling, patting, stroking her head etc. to comfort her. It got better very fast - she missed it for a day or two but has never had it since, and friends told a similar story.

I’m as chilled as they come with parenting but I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would let an under 6 month old scream for long periods of time over a dummy?

Has your DD found her hands yet? If she has, its the right moment to try. When she wants her dummy, hold her hand to her face and she will get the idea that she can suck in her fingers or thumb. After a couple of days of helping her, she will do it on her own. Until she can control her arms, this wont work

"I would happily let her continue with the dummy if she slept with it; however I’m putting it back in up to ten times a night so neither of us are getting much sleep with it. It’s really difficult, I hate letting her cry and she is still so small but at the same time I’m exhausted and have another child to look after as well."

but you're not getting nay sleep without the dummy either...

We went through this too. Solved by stockpiling dummies in the cot. DD is 11 months now and we're weaning her off it VERY slowly and gradually. She doesn't really seem to notice. I couldn't have coped with cold turkey at 4 months.

I put my 3 month olds dummy back in, she’s next to the bed so I literally stick my hand out, pick it up and shove it in. I don’t think I even wake!

We weaned off the dummy at around 5 months. I was a big dummy fan for sleeping but DD was crying for it and then refusing to take it and waking up for it all night long. She did cry a lot the first night, but the second night she was fine. I still had broken sleep obviously, but I wasn’t up every hour fighting her over the dummy.

Plus it was easier than weaning my DS off his at age 2

I was going to say the same as 182yellowsnails I remember reading that removing a dummy overnight from a baby that usually has one increases the risk of SIDS

we got rid of the dummy sleep association around 4months

first i was really strict and no dummies in the day (i hid them from myself to avoid temptation)

once that was established we moved to night time....

when she finished feeding at night she wanted the dummy ...so we used to put it in, wait till she was dozing and then take it out gently and hold her chin /mouth shut with one finger gently...it often took a few goes of this before she could go down without the dummy in.

we did that everytime she wanted the dummy in the night

i think that got her used to not having it to suck on constantly in bed...that meant it was not so distressing when we gradually phased it out/went cold turkey

good luck, personally id say its worth getting rid of

For those saying babies will drop dummies in their own good time....my MIL told me my husband had his until he was EIGHT