Stepdaughter and fathers dad -

[meme70]

I feel sad for my husband his daughter aged. 12 hasn’t bothered with him on Father’s Day when he’s been there for her all the time instead she chooses to go out to dinner with her Mum step siblings and step father ?
Her mum isn’t the nicest but I know my husband is hurt.
Why do some kids behave so odd.

We need the full story. My DS is with his dad this Father’s Day as it’s his weekend but without a present and card. School didnt make a card and I am not doing anything unless DS asks as his dad refuses to do anything for me on Mother’s Day even when DS asks.

I think you're expecting a lot of a 12 year old. I wouldn't say my similar aged kids are remotely rude or thoughtless but I'm not convinced they would have sorted something themselves without a little bit of a prod. It's a shame her mum didn't do the prodding really. Perhaps your DH can take charge a bit next year and organise for her to be with him so they can do something together?

Raining
We have her 3 days a week
Last year she wa with us most the year as her mother had problems she got sorted so it went back to 3 nights here a week.

She lives 5 minutes walk.

I paid for everything for SD for 5 years as BM client manage money but SD gets £60 every 4 weeks from BM now so I’m sure she could made her dad a card she buys friends gifts and cards and gives them to them personally.

This is father’s day a day she and her dad should spend quality time together not me getting involved SD is very needy of time alone I will not be made to feel any blame in this I just felt hurt for my husband and got bashed in here ?
Not sure why so many women bash other women for stepping up and trying to help being up someone else’s child.

Lol
Does she know what Father’s Day is of course she said she’s going out with BM SD etc on fathers day when my DH asked if he could see her.

she;s 12.
i'm assuming she is at her mum's this weekend so mum had planned the meal and thus she goes a long to it.

perhaps she will have something for dad when she next sees him. also, it's only almost 3pm, if she lives 5 mins away maybe she will pop down later.

i really can't see why it's a big deal. if she is good to her dad and loves her dad and sees her dad then great, why the pressure for one shitty commercial day?

Eric she’s 12 it’s not expecting a lot I was working ages 12 lol
She’s already told us she’s going to dinnner with her SF so knows
She can make a card
This girl buys her friends gifts and cards from her own money and makes an effort to give them it there is no excuses she’s not 7

sadly on here there’s some bitter women who’s ex partners have new wives and they hate all step mums I don't have an expartner, I do have much loved step mum.

nobody in my family would waste a moment of head space on fathers day, it is a total nothing. Why do people fall for this sort of trick set up??? think for yourselves, don't be a sheep.

Sadly these days too many people were t brought up with manners and the generation below mine simply thinks they are owed everything.

and you say I am "projecting"???

you have come up with an entirely fictitious definition of "manners" ( sending a fathers day card - ) nd are berating an innocent child for not falling in with your definition.

Sending a fathers day card is plain stupid, in my opinion, and good on her for making up her own mind not to, inspite of the tut tutting and disapproval from her step mother.

utterly meaningless crap, waste of money and resources and landfill - like most cards.

I'm off! I can see where this thread is going. It's like watching a tennis match!

hope you don't have a go at her when she next comes round

Lol I agree why couldn’t she pop in today befor going out to dinner before or after ?
She lives 5 minutes walk

I think she should see her dad every weekend sadly some of us have to work weekends

Your misiang the point - he has gone above and beyond for his child she’s mature enough to know this me personally I raised all 3 of my children to appreciate they’re dads and as them on special Days a hand made card is not going to cost a lot it’s bringing children up the next generation to show appreciation
No wonder the counties such a mess with rude children and people expecting the world for nothing I return when they arent taught kindness and appreciation

i really can't see why it's a big deal. if she is good to her dad and loves her dad and sees her dad then great, why the pressure for one shitty commercial day?

exactly

I think if its important to you both or you wanted to do something for fathers day, you should have invited her. Shes too young to organise a celebration herself. Sounds like her mum organised something for her partner and of course your sd was invited. If you had arranged a meal, you could have invited sd too.

This girl buys her friends gifts and cards from her own money and makes an effort to give them it so not selfish with no manners, or any of the other things you have called her, at all then

Between what like her mother does poisons her
Gets High in drugs and drink in front of her

I’m off to Monty is right

You nasty people need to look at why your bashing me over a child who is taught by her mother no manners no kindness and to just take

Birthdays Christmas Easter are all commercialised I’m sure you all waste loads money on that and I’m sure if SD recieved nothing on these days she’d get angry and upset

She aged 6-7–8-9-10-11 told me to buy her a birthday present !!! My daughters would never talk to anyone that way.

Bye

Of course she’s has no manners her father was there for her more than anyone ever and she can’t even be bother to pop in and say hi today
I got bashed and wrongly I’m sure she could of made some effort it’s not hard

She simply didn’t want to and that’s incrediably hurtful and there’s no excuse

he has gone above and beyond for his child

as do all parents

it’s bringing children up the next generation to show appreciation it has nothing at all to do with appreciation - expecting fathers day cards and presents is teaching children to bow to commercial pressure, not think for themselves , go through meaningless rituals and allow themselves to be emotionally blackmailed by manipulative relatives

It isn't "kindness and appreciation" to give someone a fathers day card, it is stupidity.

Why would a grown man be winging about something like this?

Are all people who buy their dad a Father's Day card an idiot Clare?

You nasty people need to look at why your bashing me over a child who is taught by her mother no manners no kindness and to just take

I think you need to look at why you are grasping on to a complete non event to be nasty to a child, and why you are calling people "nasty" for pointing it out to you

Why are you referring to her mother as “BM” as in birth mother? She is merely her mother?

I’m sure you’ve posted about your step daughter before, some time ago. The use of BM and generally belief your step daughter is a little shit is ringing a bell.

@Clairetree1 - presumably you aren’t a mum, therefore don’t give a shit about Mother’s Day? Father’s Day May be a commercial phenomenon, but the reality is most families celebrate it.

SM bashing as usual on here.... So sad there are so many bitter EW’s. Do you know it’s a poison you take hoping the other person will die?

OP I feel for you and the dad, your OH. The mother shouldn’t have arranged something. Yes, 12 year olds need a prod but it shows a lack of respect for her dad and the mother shouldn’t be making her choose.

Same here. My OH runs round for the kids. I remember the kids telling me how they had been into town and bought a card, present for mum. Not even a thought for their dad. I had to take them around the shops and pick up a few things. Asked the 13 year old to make a slice of toast for her dad this morning and she couldn’t be bothered. I feel for their dad. But hey ho you can only try and do what you think is best.

Keep your chin / chins up.

OP has not said her DSD is a little shit?? Step mother bashing is rife today!

My DC are 18 and 20, I reminded them both several times, bought them cards to give to their Dad and still DD managed to forget. She's the 20 YO. Kids can be hopeless and just need organising.

Tell you what OP, why don't you help your SD get organised next year?

It's clear the mother arranged this ... sad that an invitation from your end didn't occur.

Between what like her mother does poisons her
Gets High in drugs and drink in front of her

And if this is true, you're sat here with a card being your priority because...?