AIBU to think my mum has gone mad...

[Sheepy29]

My DD will be 13 weeks old this week and my DM wants to have a family ‘do’ on Saturday night. They never eat until around 8-8.30 and when I said we couldn’t make it she said of course we could as we can bring DD with us. Not to stay over i might add. I know that babies aren’t in a routine as yet but AIBU to think we couldn’t go coz baby needs to go to bed and have a bath before bed etc.

I feel like she’s living on a different planet! Maybe it is me though...

Meh I think you could go.

At that age they don't really have a routine and sleep for most of the time anyway!

You'll be fine it won't do the baby any harm for one night, remember your mum has had kids and knows what it's like

Well .... with my first I’d have thought like you. However once I had more than one I would’ve welcomed the change and gone with it. It’s only one night.

Imo regarding immediate family, routines can /should be altered.
If invite didn't include your dd you would also be on mn...

At that age DS was up until we were and didn’t really have a strict bath before bed routine. I’d bath him before you go out, feed him as and when needed and take turns to have cuddles, let him sleep in a sling or buggy and then feed to sleep again when you get home. I guess it depends on you though, my SIL was much stricter on routine and her DS is a much better sleeper than mine so I possibly got it totally wrong!

This is what Moses baskets are for. Take with you, pop baby in there to sleep, miss bath time for a night, not the end of the world. The sooner you get into the practice of gettting out and being practical about it, the better, otherwise you’re going to be stuck indoors for the next ten years. We used to go for dinner in Pizza Express with DD asleep in the car seat at our feet...

Sorry, your DM is on this planet. Babies are very transportable.

God I'd relish a 13 week olds portability! They don't need nightly bathing, not good for the skin and they can nap in a Moses basket or even a cardboard box at that age.

YABU, I think it would be a lovely evening. No reason at all for you not to go unless you don’t want to, in which case don’t blame it on the baby. Baby is only milk-fed at this age so zero difficult prep is needed, if baby goes down around this time take a travel cot, buggy, sleepyhead etc to put him/her down. You can leave whenever you want if it goes wrong (one of you could also stay).

Go for it

I used to put mine to bed when we went, and I’ve never bathed every night, were an eczema family and baths aggrivate it.
I think you could go , but only if that’s what you want to do.

I have a 7 week old and I'd go

It's going to be fine, honestly.
Small babies sleep wherever, whenever.
I was quite similar with my first DC. Unfortunately I ended up with a rubbish sleeper, due to pandering!
DC2 had to fit into DC1's routine (or lack thereof). Dc 2 slept ANYWHERE.
DC3 would happily sleep in a cupboard, without clothes or a blanket, during a thunderstorm, surrounded by roadworks!

My mum used to pull a drawer out and line it with blankets if I was round at their house with the babies so they could sleep

Hmmm I see why everyone is saying it's only one night, but my daughter basically screamed from 5pm until 10pm every night at this age! We tried the occasional meal out, but I found it too stressful battling tears, sleep and constant bfing, that we decided it just wasn't worth it. I think it all depends on your baby and how chilled out they are. But bathing beforehand is a good idea, so you can transfer them ready for bed when you go to your mum's, and put them down to sleep while you have your family dinner.

OP babies don't actually need a bath before bed and if she is tired you could put her to sleep in your mum's house? Go and have a great time! I always felt sorry for mums whose babies were very fixed in a routine and couldn't go out after 6pm. If your d's is fairly flexible now then try to keep her that way.

YABU

Babies don’t need a bath every night. You can pass dc around, and have a break from them, and relax. Everyone will be coming over dc.

Your mum is right. It won't do any harm at all. Don't become a slave to the routine.....it won't do any of you any favours in the long run.

We've always have a fairly regular routine if we're home and not doing anything but always happy to have a night off if something pops up. It's done my nearly 4 year old no harm. He doesn't get freaked out if we do something different. My friend's child on the other hand has always had a very strict routine and is an absolute nightmare if they veer away from it.

I lugged mine everywhere at that age. They really don't need a bath before bed, they live in babygros. The only thing is if you're knackered you might not enjoy it.

If you would rather not, then don't.
Some babies are happy to go with the flow and some would scream the house down if anything is different.
I'm sure you know your own dc best.

I really think you should go as baby isn’t in a routine at all yet really and if you start on this toad then you’ll miss out on so much.

Go, have a nice eve, let the other family members give you a hand.

At 13 weeks I'd go anywhere. Mine use to have a blanket on the floor for a sleep at other people's houses if there was no willing volunteer to have a hold. Definitely wouldn't stress about a bath or bedtime routine at this age. Make the most of getting out and about whilst they're so portable!

Yabu.

Baby will be fine, go enjoy yourself and listen to DM abit more, I'll bet she's thinks your on another plant.

I don’t think she’s mad but it kind of depends on your baby; at 13 weeks my baby would be unsettled and crying all evening unless attached to the boob so I probably wouldn’t have gone then as it wouldnt have been much fun but by 4 months she’d go to “bed” in her pram then be moved to her cot when we got home

You will be stuck in the house soon enough in the evenings; be bold, have fun, give pleasure to everyone there - hopefully you will look back with fondness on this first outing.