AIBU to think my mum has gone mad...

[Sheepy29]

My DD will be 13 weeks old this week and my DM wants to have a family ‘do’ on Saturday night. They never eat until around 8-8.30 and when I said we couldn’t make it she said of course we could as we can bring DD with us. Not to stay over i might add. I know that babies aren’t in a routine as yet but AIBU to think we couldn’t go coz baby needs to go to bed and have a bath before bed etc.

I feel like she’s living on a different planet! Maybe it is me though...

Totally depends on the baby.

Everyone who is saying you should go had the type that could go.

Mine could never in a million years go when little but is great now at 3.

Only you know your baby and what you can stretch to. You are the only expert on your baby. Do what works for you

I usually find that if I don't want to do something, or go somewhere, and I force myself, I thoroughly enjoy it and feel very pleased with myself afterwards! Just go, you'll love the change of scenery and the fuss!

You could go to your mums. Leave DD at home with her father and some expressed milk if applicable.

I would definitely go along and put the baby into a sling, but they are not for everyone. No way would I go along if it was a ‘pass the baby around’ type party.

Do you give the baby a bath every night? I definitely never did that. They are not even dirty.

Anyway good luck whatever you decide and do what makes you happy.

Some flexibility with routine will help you to enjoy occasions like this if they come up.
It’s not a bad thing at all.

Rosie!!

Sorry wrong thread.

Well someone's gone mad :)

Chill out OP - seriously this is a very little thing and probably your Mum is right.

YABU. My baby went lots of places at that age. She's six months now and I'd still take her. although it would likely result it overtired meltdown now, it wouldn't have back then as she had no real body clock. They'll sleep in the car seat / pram

Your baby will never be as portable as she is now! All they need at that age is feeding, clean nappy, sleep and cuddles. You can do all that at a family gathering.

My 1 year old is less adaptable now but when she was under about 5 months she was very content wherever we were in the evening, be it at a dinner party, gig, out for a late evening walk etc.

When we had our first we used to go out in the evenings when he was a baby, he would sleep most of the time. As long as he was fed he didn't care where he was lol. Until he was sleeping for 12 hours we had more of a life than we do now lol.

When DD was that sort of age she got taken out wherever we went, at all hours. Half the time she'd be asleep anyway, and we didn't do nightly baths, so there was no fixed routine to worry about disturbing.

I’d go. Seventeen months old and I would possibly think again.

Yes at 13 weeks I could easily have done that with my both of my babies. Just put them to bed there in pram/Moses basket/travel cot etc if that’s their bedtime. I was doing a feed around 10/11pm anyway so that’s a good time to feed and then put them in the car. Or do it when you get home to settle for bed.

It’s harder when they get older, but my 8 month old would be fine with this. My 3 year would be more difficult.

Totally depends on your baby - evenings were a cluster feeding, screaming, crying shit show for us at that age so I would not have gone out.
If your baby will happily settle and sleep in a sling/basket/whatever then go for it, skip bath for one night and enjoy yourself!

DS1 would have been fine. DS2 just screamed constantly unless his mouth was clamped to my boob. So I think it really depends on the type of baby you have as to whether you are going to have a good time or not.

I agree with everyone that your baby's age is a plus point for going out easily. Completely portable will probably sleep and if not can be admired by family and/ or fed back to sleep. Even my horror child could have easily gone out at this age .

Also , not sure why you are bathing every night. How is the baby getting dirty? Don't miss out on socialising with your family , it's important.

YABU if you have a baby that does not scream blue murder all evening.

I don't have experience of those personally, but imagine it would be easy to have an evening out as described by pp.

One of the best things about babies at that age is how portable they are! I would definitely have taken him out with me. We even went for a few evening meals out, with DS sleeping in the pram next to us.

Now he's 20 months and we're all on a very strict curfew - back home by 6:30 at the latest or everything falls apart...

At 13 weeks I'd definitely go

Enjoy this time before your baby is in a routine to get out and about. It's only to your DM's house. By your reckoning you'll never all be out in the evening for years to come.

Really depends on your baby. Not all babies are happy to be passed around and sleep in unfamiliar places, my DD was still really unsettled at 13 weeks and it wouldn't have been enjoyable for us to be out at that point. However, if she had been more content I definitely would have taken advantage of how portable they are at that age, and I've never been strict about bedtime routines so that certainly wouldn't have stopped me.

As others have said, once your baby has more of a set bedtime you will have far less flexibility than you do now so make the most of it.

Oh goodness yes go! Baby will be fine, take a moses basket. She can't move yet - go out and have a nice evening! If there are lots of aunties wanting cuddles you might even get to eat with both your hands. Go! Go now before she's big enough to realise it's a party and refuse to go to bed, climb all over your mum's house and fiddle with all the precious ornaments etc.

I think YABU
Of course you could go and baby doesn't need a bath EVERY night.
If someone id invited said to me they couldn't come as their bubba needed a bath before bed I'd just think they were making excuses.