Co-sleeping what's your thoughts?

[Mumof2boys2018]

Out of curiosity I just wanted to see how other parents view the situation or what they do with there babies.
I have an 18 month old who slept in my bed from day one, but once he turned 6 months he's always been in his own room...
I now have a 12 week old who sleeps in my bed
This is by choice as I find it much more comfortable than them being in Moses baskets... i know many will disagree and say it's unsafe but I love it. I know there's a lot of different opinions on this subject

I haven’t tried cosleeping, too terrified of accidentally rolling on them! But I often wonder how people prevent that from happening and how do you make sure the baby doesn’t roll of the bed once they start rolling?

I wasn’t planning on doing it but Ds had other ideas.

There are safe guidelines you can follow to reduce risk and it appears that if followed co sleeping is actually pretty safe. Basically no smoking, no drinking, firm flat surface, no sheets or duvets above hip level.
The stats of babies smothered are mainly driven by ‘non safer’ set ups, like parents falling asleep on sofas with babies etc. When you remove those and focus solely on in the bed, done according to guidelines it appears safe. Obviously if you’re a super heavy sleeper you might decide against it but I’m a very light sleeper as it is.

I’ve never rolled on him, you tend to be very aware of them and sleep lightly, curled round them.

When they start to roll it gets trickier. We had a video monitor and bed rails. However if dc2 ends up co sleeping I will just put a mattress on the floor - I wish I’d done this with dc1!

We dont smoke and I dont drink at all if co sleeping. If dh had had a drink he was relegated to the spare room.

It’s definitey not for everyone but it helped us a lot - ds was such a crap sleeper it was the only way any of us got any rest

I have a large co sleeper cot, and try to get DD to sleep in there as much as possible, and move her across into the bed in order to feed her lying down. We often fall asleep feeding and she shares the bed with me for a time then.

I therefore have to be set up to be as safe as possible for bed sharing, even though that is not my intended way of sleeping. I have a light cotton sheet and a cellular blanket, and then have the duvet on top which I always throw out of the way onto the outside of the bed at any time DD is in bed with me.

DD always starts the night in her cot, and I try to put her back after feeds, or as soon as I wake if we have fallen asleep, as I don't want her getting into a habit of coming into my bed during the night. In the morning once she comes in for a feed she stays in with me for a cuddle.

I'm not too concerned about the rolling into her risk, as humans have evolved successfully to raise their offspring and that includes sleeping with them in order to provide warmth and protection. We would be a flawed species if our natural sleep was as dangerous as the NHS would have us believe.

Cosleeping is a life saver. I never planned on doing it but it happened with my eldest and then I made the decision in advance to do it with my youngest two.
I don’t worry about rolling on my baby as it’s not possible in the natural C you form around your baby. Unless you’re drunk or on drugs then I wouldn’t worry (or any medication that might make you hard to rouse). I wake whenever my baby so much as moves or breathes differently personally.
Anyways! I’ve coslept with all theee and the eldest two are now in their own beds happily and my youngest isn’t two weeks old yet

Best thing ever. Done safely it is just that - safe. Improves chances of successful breastfeeding (being able to feed often throughout the night and rest and respond quickly to babies need to feed is really important in the early months and much easier if side feeding/cosleeping). Everyone gets more sleep. Biologically normal for mammals to sleep with their young. All super duper. I’m just off to run and hide now before I get flamed.

I think co-sleeping stopped me sliding in to PND.

As long as you don't drink heavily/ take drugs or smoke and follow the guidelines it can be a life saver.

I didn't intend to cosleep but my baby had other plans. We have a co sleeping cot thing attached to the bed but he won't sleep unless being held/touching one of us. I read a lot about safe co sleeping and although I do still worry I sleep better than when we tried to force him sleeping in the cot. Also it is so much easier for feeding through the night as he has constant access

DP and I decided we weren't happy to do it and luckily DC1 (currently 4 months) has been fine with a cosleeper crib. With a baby that wasn't a good sleeper though, we may well have reconsidered. The cosleeper crib has been a fab buy, we didn't bother with a Moses basket.

Rod for your own back in years to come don't do it

Not true stars

All my babies slept in the crook of my elbow. No rolling on them, no rolling out of bed. 😊

stars none of mine slept in my bed past 9 months.

I have a sleepyhead so my baby sleeps in that on the bed next to me.

The plus side of co sleeping is that it maintains a sanity for many parents whose babies struggle to be put down at night and/or who breastfeed regularly. I totally get why people do it.

The downside is about 80% if the parents I know who have co slept struggle to get the child out of their own bed, even for years after. Not necessarily every night, but certainly for some.

I do also wonder how people manage to sleep in a safe position all night. I'm forever tossing and turning and need to sleep on either side or my tummy to be comfortable.

We persevered with putting our babies down. Yes, we lost a few nights sleep in the early days, but decided to sacrifice that for many more nights as just us, in our own bed, abs our children in theirs.

Each to their own

I co-slept on and off with my dd, there was no other way she would sleep! I loved having her next to me but I found it so uncomfortable so was keen to stop it as soon as possible. She also used a sleepyhead on her better nights and from six months we transitioned to cot without a problem. She still comes in with me occasionally if she's poorly. I think co sleeping is fine if you follow correct guidelines - much safer than a sleep deprived parent struggling to stay awake

We would be a flawed species if our natural sleep was as dangerous as the NHS would have us believe.

I co-slept quite a bit so I don’t think it’s alwaus unsafe but this comment l doesn’t really hold up. Lots of animals do kill their young by sleeping on them. Quite common to lose a piglet or two this way. So the precautions are a good idea.

As PP have said, the SIDS statistics take into account people who have fallen asleep outside the safe co sleeping guildlines and on sofas ect !
I co slept with my DS and I basically weighed the pros and cons of the risks, I was waking up every 45 mins at one point so the risk of me crashing my car or getting angry with him would have been more than the safe co sleeping SID risk.
I put a double mattress on the floor and if I'm still awake by the time he's asleep I roll away into my bed now he is I've a year x

@stars yes I have heard of the 16 year olds that still co sleep with mummy. Honestly it isn't a rod for your own back, if anything my DS is so much more confident then his peers

When I split up with DD dad she was about ten months. We co slept then till she was three.

We had a couple of months where we had to stay in the house till I could move out and he blanked us both and didn't come home most weekends?

She's a bit older now and 95% sleeps in her own bed by choice. Still gets in every morning for a cuddle though.

I think it's bonded us closer.

www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/21/601289695/is-sleeping-with-your-baby-as-dangerous-as-doctors-say

Its the biological norm especially if breastfeeding. Modern society tells us our babies should sleep in a cot. And that by allowing them in our beds we are creating problems for ourselves. The majority of the world co sleeps and no mammals sleep alone.

Co-sleeping with both of mine. Dd used to sleep with us both. When ds came along I sleot withhim and dh with dd. When she was 3 and ds 18 mths they slept in their own room. Put them both in same room and ds would climb in with dd in the night. No issues.

Personally it’s not for me. I need my own space and I’d be too scared of something happening to them. My eldest was in a cot by my bed and I used to breastfeed him in the bed. I used to wake up in a panic that he was in the bed - he never was, was always in his cot. So with my second I bought a chair for the night feeds, which definitely helped. Of course I was lucky that they settled in their cots.

Also purely anecdotally, but the people I know who have coslept with their babies have been the ones with kids that didn’t sleep well and were a nightmare to get into their own beds.

Not been an issue for us, DS always wanted his own space to sleep even as a baby. If DS had needed to co-sleep, I would have done it. The way I see it, I don't sleep alone so why would I expect DS to, unless he wants to?

Some of my friends co-slept on occasion, one still does it now her DC is 3 as he won't sleep without her. If they'd asked for my opinion, I'd have said they should do whatever it took to get some sleep.

I hate this 'anecdotally everyone I know who coslept can't get them out of their beds.'

Anecdotally, everyone I know who didn't cosleep all did some form of sleep training which all had crying. Whether you call it crying, screaming, grumbling, moaning, groaning, etc, it's all a baby communicating and I wouldn't ignore

Sorry, pressed post...

I wouldn't ignore that during the day so I wouldn't at night.

Anecdotally, both mine have coslept from birth. DD because she refused the cosleeper, DS because I realised cats weren't for us. Both (3 and 1) sleep in their own room and never come into our bed. DD went straight into a full size single at 16mo and began sleeping through from 18mo with is cosleeping with her when needed. DS Has been on a floor bed since 12mo and started sleeping through. Again we cosleep/feed to sleep as needed and then escape.