MIL Rant - was this too late for LO to eat?

[CookieDough2017]

Tonight we was out celebrating my BIL’s 30th Birthday.My LO was getting cranky around 7 tonight and my MIL just kept banging on she’s hungry, she’s hungry, she’s hungry non stop arghhh! I told her this is her wind down time before bed at 8:30 and she usually gets grouchy.

My 8 month old DD hasn’t been very well this week and her naps are all over the place. She had just woken up from a nap just before 7. I thought it was a bit late to give her tea and she hasn’t touched her tea when I have offered it to her in all week. I thought she has had 2 bottles, bit of breakfast and lunch she will be fine.

No! MIl wouldn’t shut up I finally gave in just to shut her up and offered her a fruit pot and she ate it all and then started getting grouchy again. MIL starts again ... she is still hungry! ARGHHHH and starts offering her pieces of garlic bread even though I said it’s a bit late for her to eat!!! It did keep LO quiet but when we are at home I don’t need to give her food to keep her quiet.

It gets to bed time at and LO just won’t settle she didn’t go to sleep until around 10. I think it’s down to MIL giving her food just before her bedtime.

Was my MIL wrong or was I? Your opinions on the situation would be very much welcomed.

I just wish my MIL would bloody listen to me!

If she wasn't hungry she wouldn't eat it surely and just throw it on the floor? My DD11months that what she does if shes not hungry she will just mess with it not eat it and then ultimately throw it.

I don't think it can ever be too late to eat for a baby if they are hungry they are hungry and will eat.

She's only 8 months old, I'm quite sure she was hungry. If she'd been down for a nap then she last ate at 4-5pm and then nothing until breakfast? That's a long time for a baby to not eat or drink anything imo

Sorry I should of added she has her bedtime bottle at 8.

It sounds as though she was hungry. The test, as MrsMotherHen says is whether she ate it.

She woke up from a nap at 7, got upset, and you were out celebrating, no wonder she didn’t go down again until 10.

Yes it sounds like she was hungry, babies don’t eat for the sake of it. Maybe you need to swallow your pride and accept MIL might be right this time, despite the annoyance of disagreeing with you

Sounds like DD was hungry tbh.
Babies are quite happy to throw, smear or play with food they're given when they are not hungry, so if she ate it happily then MIL was obviously right.

However she may have been hungry because her naps were all over the place due to illness.

My three used to reduce food intake when they were ill and then had a ravenous few days where they made up for the lack of calories, so it could be similar behaviour and she may go back to her normal routine soon.

It's also hard to sleep while digesting food, so yes she was hungry but also the late meal probably didn't help with her sleep, but she hadn't eaten then she would have probably woken up for more milk in the night anyway.

I don't think your MIL was unreasonable, 🤷‍♀️

Your mil was spot on. Babies don’t eat unless hungry.

Your dd was hungry. Babies can often have days when they’re hungrier than normal. Maybe because she’s been ill and hadn’t eaten much or she’s going through a growth spurt.
It’s not too late to eat if she’s hungry.

Well it wasn’t too late to eat if she ate it was it? She was obviously hungry, why are you so angry with your MIL?

If the baby ate it she was hungry.
You’re being insecure, your MIL was right.

Two bottles, 'bit of breakfast' and lunch and this was 7pm?

Your baby was hungry. It doesn't matter that she hadn't eaten dinner the night before, you should still offer meals and feeds .

Perhaps your dd was unsettled because of the late nap?

I thought she has had 2 bottles, bit of breakfast and lunch she will be fine.

At 8 months I think she needs more food than this. She was definitely hungry tonight

8 month Olds aren't bound by dinner being a bit late. They are hungry and sleepy on their own schedule, so she wouldn't understand that it's a bit late for dinner! I agree she was clearly hungry.

when we are at home I don’t need to give her food to keep her quiet.

but you weren't at home, were you? And your LO is out of sorts and out of routine due to illness. And a child will hardly 'wind down' when out at a restaurant with a bunch of people celebrating a birthday.

Sometimes, you have to be flexible. Maybe your MIL's manner was not to your liking, or she has a history of telling you how to parent your child which you object to, but it seems in this situation your child needed to eat and she was correct.

As a parent who prefers routine, I had to learn to be flexible and respond to the children's needs / adapt to situations. Is LO your first/only? Do you generally find it hard not to be in control of situations?

It sounds like she was hungry, tired and bored.

You weren't at home - you were out at a restaurant, so surely it pays to be a little flexible and bend the rules a bit, so that you don't have an unhappy, whiny little one disrupting the evening for everyone.

She was hungry. Had you given her more food she'd have probably fallen straight to sleep

Well your MIL was right. She was hungry. My 7mo always shares whatever I have on my plate, especially if we are out. It's keeps him quiet

Almost certain she was hungry, as everyone else has said.

And babies don't run on an adult schedule. There's no such thing as an 8 month old "eating too late".

Don't be oppositional for the sake of it. Sometimes other people are correct, even with regards to your own child.

Well on this occasion it’s a good thing she didn’t listen to you, your baby was hungry and was still hungry after the fruit pot thing why not let her eat she would have likely gone to sleep easier.

At 8 months old, my DD would have needed at least 3 hours of awake time at the end of the day, so if she hadn't woken up until just before 7, there's no way she would have settled before 10 either.

It's never nice to feel judged as a mum, but I think in this case your MIL was right. Your baby ate all the food that was offered and so was clearly hungry. I don't think you can blame the late bedtime on her. Chalk it up to experience - tomorrow is another day!

Sorry but I also agree your MIL was
Right - often cranky means hungry anyway particularly if she's just woken up

Sounds like she's out of routine that day and that's fine just offer her food bit of play before settling for whatever her bedtime routine is - she'd need some time to get tired again

I also think she may not have settled when you put her to bed, as she only woke from a nap just before 7.

When my DC were that tiny, they were going to bed at 7.

I've got a 10 month old and an annoying mother in law too ! I can totally see why you'd be annoyed having her "tell you" that your baby is hungry, I would be too. But I think if they weren't hungry they definitely wouldn't take the food at that age. As important as routine is, if I knew they hadn't had much all day and they'd had a nap missing a meal I'd try and give some solids.

Totally get you being annoyed by the mother in law knowing best though, even if she might have been right!!!

Another one who thinks MiL was right.

I totally get the annoyance too, but if you can see a little one is clearly hungry (in a restaurant!) and the Mum won't do anything about it out of principle, it would be a pretty awkward situation to be in.

Sorry OP - I think we'd like to support you, but MIL was right this time.