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Original poster

MIL Rant - was this too late for LO to eat?

63 replies

CookieDough2017 · 29/05/2018 00:45

Tonight we was out celebrating my BIL’s 30th Birthday.My LO was getting cranky around 7 tonight and my MIL just kept banging on she’s hungry, she’s hungry, she’s hungry non stop arghhh! I told her this is her wind down time before bed at 8:30 and she usually gets grouchy.

My 8 month old DD hasn’t been very well this week and her naps are all over the place. She had just woken up from a nap just before 7. I thought it was a bit late to give her tea and she hasn’t touched her tea when I have offered it to her in all week. I thought she has had 2 bottles, bit of breakfast and lunch she will be fine.

No! MIl wouldn’t shut up I finally gave in just to shut her up and offered her a fruit pot and she ate it all and then started getting grouchy again. MIL starts again ... she is still hungry! ARGHHHH and starts offering her pieces of garlic bread even though I said it’s a bit late for her to eat!!! It did keep LO quiet but when we are at home I don’t need to give her food to keep her quiet.

It gets to bed time at and LO just won’t settle she didn’t go to sleep until around 10. I think it’s down to MIL giving her food just before her bedtime.

Was my MIL wrong or was I? Your opinions on the situation would be very much welcomed.

I just wish my MIL would bloody listen to me!

OP posts:

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Caterina99 · 29/05/2018 05:58

My 7.5 month old baby often eats her dinner really close to her bedtime (although that’s because her naps are all over the place and she has to go to bed at 6pm). It doesn’t really make any difference to her as far as I can tell.

Most likely your DD didn’t settle due to the late nap and her routine being off from being ill.

Sirzy · 29/05/2018 05:59

I would imagine only waking up from a nap at 7 has a lot more to do with why she didn’t fall asleep until 10 really

GoodAfternoonSeattle · 29/05/2018 06:05

A nap at 7pm?! I get that she’s out of routine but how does that happen?!

I don’t let my (now) ten month old sleep after 4pm. That way she’s down by 7 and sleeps through till 6am (usually). Been this way since approx 6 months. What time does she go to bed when she is sticking to her routine?

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DragonsAndCakes · 29/05/2018 06:11

What’s your thinking behind it being too late for her tea?

My much older children often eat at 5.30/6 and then start going up to bed shortly after. It’s fine.

LavenderDoll · 29/05/2018 06:23

Mil was right- baby was hungry

PlumsGalore · 29/05/2018 06:26

A nap until 7 and then she didn't go down until 10. No shit Sherlock.

MaverickSnoopy · 29/05/2018 07:14

Definitely sounds like she was hungry on this occasion.

What's her normal routine like? It's just you say she's normally grouchy around this sort of time. Might that mean she's hungry on those occasions too? Perhaps you've just not realised it's hunger.

The 7pm waking and 10pm bedtime could be a red flag. I remember my eldest sometimes used to wake from her afternoon nap at 6pm and be more than ready for bedtime at 730pm. So if the OPs baby normally wakes and 7pm and goes to bed at 830pm, then yes a 10pm bedtime would be abnormal for her, but then I wouldn't expect a baby to settle after a late night out.

JobHunting4 · 29/05/2018 07:19

If you’re eating tea, a baby who is also on solids will also want some. I feed mine before we go out so they’re not ravenous, but they generally have a bit of our food when it arrives so they can join in. It’s part of their development.
But mostly, what the others said. She was hungry, she needs more meals, she woke late so went to sleep late, and babies only eat when hungry.
No big deal, don’t stress about it.

BertrandRussell · 29/05/2018 07:34

Reverse? Because otherwise bonkers.

French2019 · 29/05/2018 07:35

OP, you sound like you're a bit of a slave to your routine. Your baby was obviously hungry because the food "kept her quiet". I don't know why you would make an arbitrary decision that 7pm was too late to eat and that she should therefore go without any dinner? As for not sleeping until 10pm, it's hardly surprising given that she was napping until 7pm and then spent the evening in a noisy restaurant.

Obviously, we don't know the back story with your MIL but it sounds like she was spot on on this occasion. Perhaps it's you who needs to listen a bit more to her?

ScrubTheDecks · 29/05/2018 07:47

So you didn’t want to feed her because the last few days she has been unwell and had no appetite after her nap? It sounds as if she is better and feeling hungry.

What’s the big deal?

Cranky for an hour and a half before bed time? Maybe cranky for her bed time bottle.

It wasn’t a lot of food for the day.

A fruit pot isn’t filling.

FatCow2018 · 29/05/2018 07:52

The poor thing was clearly hungry! What I see has happened is you have allowed your dislike of your MIL to cloud your judgement, to the point where you would have let your baby go hungry in order to prove a point.

Your mother in law is not the problem, you are.

PotteringAlong · 29/05/2018 07:57

Your baby woke up from a nap at 7pm and you took her out to a party, but it’s the garlic bread’s fault your baby didn’t sleep?!

I don’t think your MiL needs to listen to you, I think you need to listen to her.

Quartz2208 · 29/05/2018 07:58

2 bottles all day yes she was hungry

TheDowagerCuntess · 29/05/2018 08:03

Cookie - I feel for you as this probably isn't the way you were thinking this thread would go.

There are obviously some back issues with MIL that we're not privy to, and I suspect your DH/DP may be caught in the middle a bit.

I hope you don't take the pretty much unequivocal YABU too badly

codswallopandbalderdash · 29/05/2018 08:05

OP I don't think being so rigid about mealtimes is a good idea - you sort have got to go with the flow a bit with children as how much they can eat each day can vary widely. Especially when they have been ill - they start packing the food in as soon as they feel better. Personally I wouldn't have been happy with the choice of garlic bread but it sounds like you didn't go prepared with loads of snacks for your little one. Learn from this and don't leave the house without lots of suitable food for your LO. I still remember how much my DC could pack away at times

BertrandRussell · 29/05/2018 08:15

“There are obviously some back issues with MIL that we're not privy to, and I suspect your DH/DP may be caught in the middle a bit.

Yeah, course there must be. Can’t possibly be the OP’s issue.........

bbqseason · 29/05/2018 08:16

At 8mo shouldn't she be having more milk than two bottles a day? It should still be her main source of nutrients, even if she is eating solids too.

TheDowagerCuntess · 29/05/2018 08:19

Yeah, course there must be. Can’t possibly be the OP’s issue.........

Well, yes, it could just be the OP, but on the face of it, she's being pretty unreasonable, so I'm trying to be kind by giving her the benefit of the doubt.

She can clearly opt of that if she wishes.

OakIsBetterTho · 29/05/2018 08:23

Sounds very much like your mil was perfectly correct, baby was clearly hungry. Also, it's hardly surprising that baby was out of routine seeing as she woke from a nap at 7 and you were out for the evening. That's always going to throw them out. Trying to stick so rigidly to your bedtime routine regardless of any other external factors won't help you in the long run.

Spam88 · 29/05/2018 08:37

I was going to say she doesn't really need solids at that age (I think I was still only giving two meals a day at 8 months), but it doesn't sound like you're giving very much milk at all so yeah sounds like she was hungry. Did she take all of her 8pm bottle?

I'd never get away with not sharing my food though 😬 I have to hide to eat chocolate now...

WTFdidwedo · 29/05/2018 08:46

I think it would probably help if you said how much food and milk she'd had all day, and when her naps/how long her naps were. If she had two 8-9oz bottles and would be having another one at home before bed then she was having enough milk. The size of the two meals wouldn't matter particularly as food is still"for fun" really.

lunar1 · 29/05/2018 08:53

She didn't sleep till 10 because she had a very late nap. Not because she had eaten. Your child was hungry.

auntyflonono · 29/05/2018 09:05

Mil should have listened to you, it's your baby! It's also how you learn to spot what they need as they age, this time it was more food. Instead of you clocking this and adapting you now have a right or wrong situation with your mil. Try and move on and forget about it so you and mil don't get into a routine.

Original poster

CookieDough2017 · 29/05/2018 10:01

When DD has been ill this week she has been waking up from a nap at 7 and going to bed at 8:30 without fail no fussing what so ever. Even when she’s better and had dinner she usually gets fussy around 7 for bedtime.

OP posts:

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