My children want to do 'nothing'

[pupchewsleg]

It's an amazing sunny day. We are all at home with no plans. Over breakfast DH and I try to enthuse our children with some options for the day.
Suggestions include Caving, Rock climbing, beach, woods, firelighting, long walk, canoeing cycle ride.
DS1 and DS2 (10 and 9) would like to do 'nothing'. They would prefer to play on screens but if that's not on the would like to stay at home, play on trampoline, at a push go to the park.
Any one else's kids the same?
They have so much opportunities and apparently its all boring.
We are going out (under protest).

Surely you can do low level activities together? You wouldn't flounce because they want a picnic or to play in the garden?

I don't get the posters on here who say they're having a day doing nothing then list football, playing with friends, trips to the park and BBQs...

Your suggestions sound fab, and my dc would love them. (Am envious of you living somewhere you can do all these things!)

Would your dc normally love them too, or are they all new?

Could you compromise by going out for half the day then comig back to chill in the garden?

My kids have days where we have no plans they just go out the back of out flats and play with the neighbours kids (They have alot more freedom than some). They hate it if o spring things on them so any days out are prevwarned.

Why do some people need to be 'doing something' all the time? What is wrong with staying at home and lounging around? And as it's a Bank Holiday and nice weather everywhere will be crowded.

Who are these people with their dc who don't mind them doing nothing? My ds is 10 and hates doing nothing. He has to be active all the time (unless he's on the ipad). Stay at home days can be hard work.

What is firefighting?

Relaxing is nice though, I really enjoy staying home and hanging out in the garden so I’m not surprised the dc do too

As long as they’re not glued to their screens it’s goid to stay home and relax, have a bbq make a cake etc

You’re a human being not a human doing.

I'd love to get out more this weekend but I am ill & there other things need doing.

Kids were out for 2+ hrs yesterday. Some errands today but today mostly indoors actually. 4-6 hr outing (beach) tomorrow. I grew up in sunny California where we often didn't bother to get out at all. You need down time at home, too.

It's not 'doing nothing', though, that's code for not being on jolly adventures with parents! My children, slightly older and in the early teen years, do things like arrange to go out with friends, play out the back, go to the park, go for a jog/walk, bake cakes or try (!) cooking dinner, read/tablet/ have endless Whatsapp covos with friends, homework at their own pace and so on. Not everyone would prefer caving- I wouldn't for starters!

I don’t get being offered loads of choice and not wanting to do it. I know why I don’t want to go to the beach, parking, making a picnic, keeping the dog cool but ds has none of those worries. He gets 1 hour on the Xbox and once that’s done he’ll wander off to his room and plan what he’s doing on minecraft tomorrow.

Feels very weird to be forcing an activity tomorrow.

I’m sure my bank holidays were spent in b and q, then on trips to the dump, maybe defrosting a freezer. My parents were very much make use of the time people.

I've had bank holidays spent collecting firewood

I tend to just organise things and then tell them, rather than giving a choice. Also I give them advance notice so they wake up knowing it's going to be an activity day.

God, I'd love the kids to want to chill at home for a day but they'd all be climbing the walls/wrestling killing each other or pestering me for screens by 11am if we did!

Enjoy it, chill out in the garden with a book, I'm v envious!

I always feel really lucky on these threads because my dd (nearly 13) is usually up for anything I suggest but equally happy to have a chill-out day at home from time to time. DH is a bit more difficult, he only wants to do stuff when he is in the right mood, but dd and I are happy to just get on with it!

She is at drama all morning, so I've walked into town for a coffee with MN my book. Home for lunch and then planning a walk in the bluebell woods with her grandparents. After that, she has promised to help me clear out the garage and I'm guessing that DH will join in at that point! Not exactly an exciting day, but at least she isn't sat there attached to her phone all day!

I don't just announce what we're going to do though - we discuss it and decide together. As kids get older, I think it's really important that they have some input into the plans. I do feel lucky that dd and I just enjoy each other's company, and don't really care what we do - I'm just happy that she still wants to do stuff with me!

theeye do you always organise his day and activities for him? I have a friend who does this for her DD, even lining up the next activity for her while she is doing one. The child has a very full life but never, ever gets to entertain herself and seems anxious if she doesn’t know what’s coming next. My DD will happily take herself off to bake cakes, make lunch, play out with friends or just general mooching some days. She loves this down time.

Yep. Ours 10 & 13 have preferred doing nothing for a while now. Was weird at first because I was so used to us going out to do something any available opportunity when they were younger.

Felt guilty. Like weekends and holidays wasted but now I reap the benefits. Doing nothing is fantastic.

Let them be. I don't consider the trampoline nothing. I consider that a win as it's Outside. Capitalised intentionally as it's now considered a monumental thing to get Them Outside.

I don't just announce what we're going to do though - we discuss it and decide together. As kids get older, I think it's really important that they have some input into the plans. this OP, plus talking about it the day before so they get up knowing what’s expected. At the age yours are though, we didn’t offer too much choice, maybe the choice between 2.

That said DD13 is camping this weekend and DS at a sleepover so they're not hermits. Yet.

My DC are 12 & 14 - screen time when it’s dark mainly is watching YouTube slime making videos etc - hardly going to keep them awake

Lots of patronising unhelpful stealth boasting on here about how “lucky” people are

DD much more open to aimless shite than DS

All kids are different

At that age I couldn't have thought of anything more boring (except June wen it was all tennis tennis tennis), I was much happier playing with my mates in the back yard etc now as an adult I enjoy those things but a "lazy day" is nice sometimes.
I think miniature golf and beach is an excellent idea and then maybe a further compromise of a lazy/nothing day tomorrow as it's still going to be nice?

Do u kids like the hotter weather @OP? I Don't mind it (as long as I take my allergy meds lol) but non of my kids cope well with it and both my dds are currently lead on my cold leather sofa in just pants and vests doing nothing (they havent even asked to put the tv on), they don't even want to go to the park or get the paddling pool out
x

Perhaps let them they have been at school all week! Compromise with some outside time maybe? I think you mentioned a trampoline

Why not play some of the xbox/whatever gadget it is games with them? Get them to tell you what games they like!! We have a Nintendo Wii and it's great fun. Then have a bbq (you mentioned trampoline so are obviously lucky enough to have outdoor space). That sounds a great Bank Holiday. Mine will be similar to that - except as we live in a flat the burgers and sausages will be cooked in the oven as normal and I will eat sat next to our open door with the 'Juliet' balcony!!

I expect when my daughter is playing on her Nintendo DS (current fave game is the Mario one where you design your own games) I will probably do some of my Hobbycraft crafts or building my Lego and hubby will be doing his Airfix. Busy day for us. Leave the kids to their gadgets and find your own hobby!!!

I agree your suggestions are way ott to spring on anyone over breakfast. What the hell's firelighting?