My children want to do 'nothing'

[pupchewsleg]

It's an amazing sunny day. We are all at home with no plans. Over breakfast DH and I try to enthuse our children with some options for the day.
Suggestions include Caving, Rock climbing, beach, woods, firelighting, long walk, canoeing cycle ride.
DS1 and DS2 (10 and 9) would like to do 'nothing'. They would prefer to play on screens but if that's not on the would like to stay at home, play on trampoline, at a push go to the park.
Any one else's kids the same?
They have so much opportunities and apparently its all boring.
We are going out (under protest).

My kids really enjoy doing ‘nothing’. I call it a chill out day and they are very much needed. We have a lot going on every day and it’s nice to just relax

Smallest that was my childhood. It was boring as hell and miserable.

I know exactly how you feel. We do have a balance between doing stuff and doing nothing but my 11 year old would rather do nothing most of the time.

I sometimes find Facebook makes it worse as we know lots of outdoorsy families and some of them seem to pack so much in while we're still in our pyjamas.

However I know kids (and me) do need chill time.

They are very normal kids! My 10 year old would wee in a bottle if I let him just so he didn't have to move. This is why on days like today I will ban all electronic items after 11am and the dc will have to go "old school". They will be forced outside under huge duress to catch bugs, bounce on trampolines, ride bikes, play swingball and get fresh air. Poor little things. I will be told he hates his life 😂 and that I'm the worst mum 😂. I will be told ALL his friends aren't made to play outside on warm, sunny spring Sundays. Hehe, the little darlings.

Increasingly, as children get older, I think it's important sometimes to give them a choice, especially if you say no screens during the day, and then just let them get on with it. Of course it's a balance, and in a Bank Holiday weekend you have a chance for a couple of days rest and a day out. But, if they have school and a lot of scheduled activities/birthday parties, then often doing 'nothing' is a tempting option. Often caving/climbing is a birthday party, it's not like they never do it and so it becomes less tempting. I would do an activity in the morning (if you must) and let them chill this afternoon/go to the park. There's nothing intrinsically more worthy about playing miniature golf than reading a book or going to the park to play with friends, is there?

Mine are 13 and 10 and can be like that. I let them.

They do loads in the week, Scouts, Drama, Music lessons etc. We often do 'events' at the weekend involving a Scouts challenge. So I don't feel too bad.

We 'enjoyed' the day yesterday. Kids had a lie in while I took the dog for a walk, then we sat in the garden while they watched me plants some new plants, then we had a small bbq and a film on dvd in the evening. They loved it.

We often do nothing at all at weekends. However on Monday we're 'forcing' them to go to a Country Show. They hate the idea but will secretly enjoy it once there 😉

Honestly, I wouldn't want to have any of your adventurous options sprung on me, even though I'd like to do them. I like to know what's happening and anticipate. I don't think I was different as a child.

I'd love to do 'nothing' (lounge in the garden with a book perhaps?) but almost never get the chance. It's like the ultimate, unattainable luxury these days.

I think relaxed time at home, entertaining themselves, is really important for children. They need to learn to want to find things to do and do them. Boredom is a very creative medium. I'm not sure that's the same thing as screen time though.

What’s wrong with nothing? I wish my dd was good at doing nothing.

I hate organised days btw. I don't like being told what to do and arranged by others. I get that at work all week. Weekends are for fun.

Mine are younger but we generally always have Saturdays as a bit of a lazy day. DH works and I CBA going out on my own with 2 kids to places that are super busy after getting up early every day for school runs etc. Plus I work Saturday evenings so just want a bit of chill time before. It's good for the kids too. They usually just want to stay home and play after a busy week with school.

Yesterday when it was nice, I just took them to the local park for a bit and sent them out to play in the garden. I understand wanting to make the most of the nice weather, but they do still need down time and it's finding a way to do that outside.

nothing sounds grapes

great

I’d like to say I learnt from experience with kids but my husband taught me you invariably have to take the lead. Today we’re going to X Y Z.

They will enjoy it and if they did nothing yesterday it’s a waste of a lovely weekend. Unless they’ve had a traumatically exhausting week get them out in the sun as a family.

Memory maketh not indoors on a sunny day!

Why do we constantly have to be doing something, for every moment of the day? Why make them do something if they don’t want to? Let them just relax. It’s fine.

I’d want some advance warning for big going out activities- even now If if someone sprung that many options on me at breakfast I’d balk! Sounds like you’re going to have a nice day anyway but maybe give them time to warm up to the idea in future?

Firelighting?!

I'd just let them do nothing at home. But that doesn't mean that can just go on iPads all day. Tell them they can do that until midday and then the screens go off. If they fancy doing something this afternoon, to give you a shout, but if not then they're not to bother you!

Also as a kid I did not see the value in ‘enjoying the weather’ - I think I assumed there’d be endless sunny days ahead. I get it now!

I always feel sorry for those kids who are dragged here, there and everywhere with not a seconds breathing space. As adults, sometimes we need a relaxed day not doing very much and children are exactly the same.

If you go out on adventures every day, it makes it less fun.

Can't they play with friends? So thankful of growing up in the 70s where we just met up with everyone else in the street and did what ever we wanted - probably learned more than a lot of these planned activities too!

Yep, my youngest (11) is playing football this morning. Will be allowed some chill time then turned out of doors to enjoy the weather. Fortunately his best mate's mum is on the same page as me. They will go round the village and round up their crew find something to do.

Oldest ones are still in bed hungover. Garden and barbecue for us I think.

I always remember watching an interview with Writer/Actor Mark Gatiss. He said his parents spent his whole childhood very worried about him because all he ever wanted to do (even on lovely sunny days) was sit indoors with the curtains shut and watch Vampire/Horror movies and read.

He's made a very successful career out of it 😂

Mine are the same and honestly I just let them get on with it. For years I forced them out and marched them round worthy activities in the name of quality family time and now they're older I think they should get to decide. I know how I feel when I want down time and to just be left alone and I well remember the hell of forced family outings growing up.

Do nothing with them? This is precious time. Do nothing together, it's really fun.

My parents never did anything with us or take us anywhere. We lived in the middle of nowhere. I would have loved this level of interest from my parents.

Ah well!

At least it frees up time for you OP. Maybe just decide what you would like to do with your day, kids allowing, and focus on yourself. If they are happy on screens all day, you can get on with something for you.

I quite like a 'do nothing' day!

My ds (13) is a swimmer and year 9. Between homework and training and weekend galas - plus family events (large family and have had birthday bbq and wedding last 2 weeks) - a do nothing day is great!

The weathers fantastic so chilling in garden with own stuff and surroundings and perhaps a walk to park and ice cream is probably quite energising.

I went to wedding last night and off to fundraiser for his club in half hour followed by training tonight and gym for me.

Tomorrow he's meeting friends at beach and I'm taking a book and sitting there doing NOTHING whilst he hangs out with his mates!