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Parenting

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Original poster

Can't wait to be a grandparent. Anyone else?

49 replies

Ewanthesheep · 30/04/2018 19:20

My boys are still babies! But I can't wait to be there to help with their bundles of joys!
I can't wait to do babysitting so they can get sleep. Or clean their houses so they can focus on baby. Or just hold baby so they can shower etc.

I can't wait to take them out, to the park like I do with my boys. Haha. I'm not wishing my life away, but I do hope they have children to keep me busy as I grow. One of the reasons I wanted my children younger so I was still young enough to chase after grandchildren :)

I'm saddened by the fact I will always be the in law to the mom of the childrem though (unless of course they adopt etc with another male, always possible!) And maybe I won't be the first on call. Anyone else feel like this?

Basically didn't have any of the help myself! But hope I can help them when they are older!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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HRTpatch · 30/04/2018 19:21

No.

DramaAlpaca · 30/04/2018 19:24

Nope. I'm in my early 50s & my sons are in their early 20s & I'm in no rush at all to be a grandparent.

YerAuntFanny · 30/04/2018 19:26

No.

Don't get to overinvested in this fairytale idea of grandchildren, they may decide they don't want or be able to have a child.

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PurpleDaisies · 30/04/2018 19:27

They might not want or be able to have children.

You’re being OTT.

Casmama · 30/04/2018 19:27

To the extent I would get some of the joy my boys bring me without being number one bum wiper and skivvy- yes. All in good time though.

ggirl · 30/04/2018 19:27

I am looking forward to it..if it happens . I am 55 , have some friends who are grandparents and they are over the moon with it.

Dd is 26 and not likely to produce a baby anytime soon. Ds is 15 .

SoyDora · 30/04/2018 19:28

My 4 year old is adamant she’s never having children because ‘it looks too much like hard work’

YerAuntFanny · 30/04/2018 19:30

And also on the note of having then young so you can chase the Grandchildren, it doesn't always work out this way.

My Mum became a Gran at 38 and hasn't really been able to help out over the past 12 years because she works full time and has quite a few more years before she will be able to retire by which point my kids won't need running after anyway

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 30/04/2018 19:31

I doubt your daughter in law will want her husbands Mum being around so much. It’s harsh but true.

blueskyinmarch · 30/04/2018 19:32

It will be nice if it happens but I can wait. If it doesn't happen it will also be fine. My DDs are 25 and 20 and both very education/career orientated and I think they have the right attitude. Having children isn't for everyone and I would hate them to feel they had to provide us with grandchildren.

Aria2015 · 30/04/2018 19:34

Nope. I love my baby but I'm not a baby person otherwise. I might feel differently when (if) the time comes but at the moment I don't feel remotely excited about it!

GummyGoddess · 30/04/2018 19:35

The only thing I have thought about in relation to gc is that I want a nice relationship with dil, I haven't thought about gc. My relationship with pil has gone rather wrong since having dc1 and I can't help but think that if there had been more of a relationship there beforehand it wouldn't be so strained now. I talk to them how I talk to my mum, they get huffy and ignore me but my mum doesn't, it would be nice to have that sort of relationship.

AmazingPostVoices · 30/04/2018 19:39

Calm down or you are going to be a nightmare MIL.

Your sons might be gay.
They might stay single.
They might choose not to have children or not be able to.

They might end up living on the other side of the world.

They might not want or need help. Their partners might not want or need help.

I get on fine with my PILs but I know what they would really like is for me to need them. And I don’t.

They are desperate to “help” when my DH is away.

For some reason they find it really hard to understand that I don’t need help.

I suspect they think I call my parents for help but I really don’t.

We’re organised, the kids are lovely and the house is well kept.

I don’t need any housework done.
I certainly don’t need help coping with the D.C.

I think they would quite like a gentle, disorganised DIL who called them regularly to ride to her rescue because everything had got on top of her.

Unfortunately their son married me poor souls.

We get on well, we see them very regularly and they spend plenty of time with the children and do the occasional babysit.

But it’s never quite enough for them and the children are starting to find their neediness uncomfortable.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 30/04/2018 19:42

Being a dgm imo /e is even more stressful than being dm.

lifechangesforever · 30/04/2018 19:42

How do you know they even will want children?!

Are you going to be one of those pushy parents who questions them every single time you see them about 'when they're going to have kids' because believe me, they'll do the opposite.

SeriousChutzpah · 30/04/2018 19:53

No. I have spent most of my adult life living outside my home country, and while I visit as my parents as often as I can with my six year old, and he’s very fond of them, I tend to imagine that he’ll have children, if he has children, in a different country to where I’ll be living then — we get around a lot. My three siblings live in three different countries, too.

It seems a bit smalltown and restrictive to assume your children will live near you when they have children — what are we talking, 30 years ahead? — and, if I’m honest, rather as though you’re worried your own life will be empty without child rearing...?

yawnicorn · 30/04/2018 19:57

Nope, although my DH can’t wait to be a granddad in the style of Grandpa Pig. Of course if my DC ever have kids I’ll love them but I find my own little ones quite hard work now, never mind when I’m older

Wornoutbear · 30/04/2018 19:57

not at all - I really can't understand this whole grandparent thing. Who wants to be lumbered with more children when your own have left home?

Original poster

Ewanthesheep · 30/04/2018 20:02

Ok. It was meant to be a more light hearted post. Remind me not to try this again.

No I'm not a pushy parent. And I know the world doesn't work how you want it to. I was just thinking in the suitation of becoming a grandparent that I can't wait. As above I said they may adopt with another man etc. So of course I understand it's not always straight forward.

How sad this post has turned into a bash session. I'm early 20s and my son's are still young. It was more of a, well yes a fairy tale dream of the future. Just like when we are young and want to meet our prince to sweep us off feet etc.

And based on the grandparents my children got I hope I'm always there to help my children and grandchildren in their time of need. If there ever is grandchildren.

Urgh. Wishes I'd never started this post.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ewanthesheep · 30/04/2018 20:05

I also have a career and have continued that. I work part time and have my children too. For me the perfect mix.

I don't want to be there 24/7. It's more of a if they need me then I can't wait to be ready to help. Other than that Id just want to see my grandchildren plenty like I had and saw my grandparents. And like my children have from my mother.

OP posts:

missyB1 · 30/04/2018 20:08

OP sadly I knew exactly what kind of replies you were going to get in here. You see the MN rule is that Mils are evil, and grandparents all want to steal the GC and keep them and pretend to be their parents.

I however am a Mil and yes really looking forward to being a grandma hopefully in the next few years. And I do plan to help out with childcare whenever possible. Horrid evil me!

kissthealderman · 30/04/2018 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinThereDoneThat · 30/04/2018 20:30

I'm pretty sure that was just an example, no need to be snarky

AmazingPostVoices · 30/04/2018 20:31

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a good grandmother Ewan, but given that your children are very small your post was pretty full on.

Don’t wish their lives away or set expectations for them they might never want to fulfil.

ggirl · 30/04/2018 20:33

..oh yawn..jumping straight into criticising OP ..standard MN

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