Day 4 breastfeeding hell please help

[upsydoosy]

I feel like I've tired absolutely everything and I'm still in agonising pain whenever I breastfeed. Childbirth honestly feels like a doddle in comparison. I have to clamp something between my teeth every time I get baby to latch on so I don't scream out in pain and frighten her.

Is it really going to be worth it in the end?

Please seek help from a lactation consultant, there should be one available through your health visitors or local support group. Have they checked for tounge tie? Need latch checking. Although it can be sore at first you shouldn’t be in extreme agony. Have you tried nipple shields? Not always recommend but have known them work really well for people becaue they give you time to heal and recover from a bad latch at the start. Once healed you can ditch them.

Also you could try giving her a couple of oz with the bottle and then going on the breast especially if she is agitated so will struggle to latch it will just give her enough to calm down.

And yes it’s worth it when you get to the point where it’s easy! So much easier than faffing with bottles and it’s a lovely experience when it works.

Agree that it’s probably one of the worst days. Most of the time it’s when your milk comes in and my boobs were very very tender. Also I had cracked nipples- apparently my nipples ‘would take a little bit to toughen up’ according to the midwife 😂.

Just because BFing is one of the most natural things in the world doesn’t mean it’s easy, and I don’t think the general advise available by midwives/books etc given to you during pregnancy is honest enough about just how difficult it can be. It can be sore for the first week or so and it can be difficult to establish.

My best advise would be never give up on a bad day. Take every day as it comes. Also, get some nipple cream and air them out 😂. It is 100% worth it and I PROMISE it will get easier. If you can get yourself to a breastfeeding support group or if you are worried you can always call HV/maternity ward.

Good luck

Try these:
www.mothercare.com/accessories/medela-contact-nipple-shields-with-case-small-16mm---2-pack/321884.html?CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=50694801107&CATCI=pla-366634219386&cm_mmc=Google--Feeding--MC-UK-G-Shopping-Feeding-Catch All//--+-+&utmsource=Google&utmmedium=CPC&utmcategory=Google+-+Feeding&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpqn953Y2gIVBLDtCh0Rg8VEAQYAiABEgIrNvDBwE&utmcontent=

Had this with all of mine. BF until day 10, when there was no skin left on my nipples (there is no comparable agony). I was checked over by various midwives and a consultant. No issues with the latch or tongue tie or anything. Was put down to my fair skin! Apparently, red heads and fair skin tones can be more sensitive

Anyway, I gave up and bottle fed the first 2. But with the 3rd, I found those nipple shield. Instant miracle! The downside is that the baby takes less milk, so by 8 weeks, I had to stop using them as DD was dropping down the centile charts. Fortunately for me, she remembered how to latch to my bare nipple, and all the pain had gone. The shields got them used to feeding very gently, and we never looked back.

Good luck

Second the mention of a possible tongue tie, it can really mess with a baby's latch so they can only get a shallow latch rather than a deep one.

Pain is often a sign of a positioning and/or attachment issue. Breastfeeding shouldn't be agonising, no matter who tells you that your nipples need to "toughen up".

Where are you based? It could really help to attend a drop-in group run by peer support volunteers. Have a look and see where the nearest Breastfeeding Network group meets: www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/sample-page/

Or ask your midwife for details of other local groups if you haven't been given them already.

You could phone the National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212

Let us know how things go

Ouch! Poor you.

The first two weeks of feeding were really painful with both of my babies, but then things improved magically and I did a year each.

You’ve had great advice so far. If it’s a deep pain in your breast it sounds more like let-down, whereas if your nipples themselves are on fire I’d get latch and tongue-tie checked out. And re-checked and re-checked (tongue-tie often seems to get missed).

Talk to a friend who has breast-fed and get their honest advice. Yes it’s weird getting someone you know to check your latch but totally normal to have that support in cultures where BF is more common.

What helped me most was a midwife showing me how to compress the breast/back of the nipple enough to get it far enough into the baby’s mouth. Particularly when my milk came in, he was just trying to feed off the end which was agony! After that I just needed to heal (scabs, delightful).

Keep going, you’re doing great!

Also no wonder so many of us feel a failure when BF is sold as this magical experience. It’s great...easy, convenient, quicker than faffing around with bottles, and enough benefits that I’d do it again every time. But bloody hard to start with!

I can remember day 3 so clearly ! I was in years , my baby was crying my DH was crying my midwife walked in drew me a bath gave me some paracetamol and lit some candles and passed em my baby and said the words that have stuck with me 'you are doing your very best and what ever you choose is the right thing for you'.
And do you know, 16 months on I am still BFing
He has not had one drop of formula, but was it worth it....
no if I'm honest ... for me no... I cried when my husband brought me my baby to feed, I was in agony I had in diagnosed thrush for two months !
For my baby , he is now at nursery, is hardly ever I'll and recovers from colds so quickly.
Is he lucky, is it because he is breastfed ... who knows ? I like to think the latte because of my hard work !

But when that little baby drops asleep on you and your boob pops out of his mouth and you just look at him asleep with him against your breast , honestly that is worth it ....
18 months in I just flap it out and feed , but it's my way to re connect with him after being at work and I love how he uses my boob as a pillow sometimes ...

I have really waffled on but my LO never took a bottle because I stuck to the 'don't give bottle for 6 weeks' if I had another I would give a bottle of expressed every day from about 2 weeks old so my DH could help out

Co sleeping saved me, look into safe co sleeping too x

Congratulations! To echo pp it definitely gets better. Once you've had your latch checked and tongue tie checked for, you kind of have to go through the pain barrier a bit before you get to the other side.

It's absolutely safe to alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen if you're not already doing so. And a little glass of wine doesn't hurt either. Good luck!

Could the baby have a tongue tie? That could make feeding very painful too.

Have a google about vasospasm. It's common but often goes unmentioned. Passes by week 6 in my experience!

I was in agony for nearly two months - I tried different positions, had his latch checked several times by midwives and breastfeeding experts, and they all declared it perfect. Eventually the soreness and pain subsided, and I breastfed for 15 months. Actually quite miss it now!

I felt then sane. My dd’s dad had to hold me when I was feeding as I was afraid I might unintentionally squeeze her trying to control the pain but it got better after a while. Nipple shields helped me as well as Lanolin cream. But do get as much support as you can.

Two tips- Lanisoh & Flipple technique! Have a look on YouTube for Flipple, it made it so much easier to get a good latch. Took a few goes to get it right, and pain gradually goes as it takes a few days at least to start healing once they're bad.
It will get better!

I really struggled with feeding my first- it was agony but it was all about the latch. I went to our local breastfeeding support clinic multiple times trying to get the latch sorted but oh my life when we did- it was such a different experience and how I thought it would be. From my experience with subsequent children also getting the right suppprt is important but much quicker to sort and i ebf both of mine for 10 months. Good luck and congratulations!!

Lots of good advice, I will just say hopefully as a comfort that it was agony for me too with my first, a combination of being fair skinned and having a very needy baby. She was straight up the middle of the charts weight wise but she fed constantly (and also had sleep problems), mostly I suspect for comfort. My breasts were so full of milk as a result that it was squirting everywhere when she wasn’t feeding. I remember managing to squirt milk down the back of a hunky rower 6 feet away in Christchurch Meadows in Oxford, just to emphasise how much my life had changed from letch to latch. In retrospect I should —listened to my mother— and have held back a bit on the on demand feeding to let my nipples recover.

I remember being hugely comforted by Ruby Wax saying in a stand up routine that it felt like someone had put a fishhook through your breast and pulled on it. In paintings of the Madonna and child it would be more accurate if at least some showed her with a look of agony.

Like others my nipples did recover. My second child was much more laid back and breastfeeding was a joy from Day 1. In fact I hadn’t bonded as a result of being in shock after a very quick (40 minute ) birth but I fell in love with her that night whilst blissfully (and pain free) breastfeeding her, and it continued to be a blissful experience for the next 18 months. It really is worth it.

It really is worth it

It'll get better, but as to whether it's worth it's, that's very much a personal issue. It depends on how much you want to breastfeed. Some people say there's no benefit, some people say there's loads of benefit. The truth is probably somewhere I'm between, but it's difficult to do research on. For what it's worth, your baby will likely thrive either way, so it's personal preference. There's nothing wrong with switching if you'd prefer that, and there's nothing wrong with continuing.

I cried nearly every time my baby wanted feeding for the first 2 weeks, it was horrendous. I watched deep latch technique on you tube to make sure that was correct (first baby) I applied lansinoh after every feed and keep gauzes on them. They were completely healed in 2 days!

Good luck, it was 100% worth it for me in the end. It's the best thing I've ever done. (2nd only to giving birth!)

Well done for trying so hard! This was the worst time for me, it gets better I promise you! Some people get over the worst in a few days, others like me take months, but even if you're like me it's so worth it! I used to dread feeding her, now it's not at all sore. I bottle fed my first and that was such a pain in the ass, I hated all the sterilising, making sure I had enough bottles/formula with me, having to go home if I didn't etc. This time I can just whip out my boob and be done with it. My son also had a lot (and I mean a lot) of problems with wind and my daughter has basically none, I can't be sure it's all down to breastfeeding but wish I'd tried harder if only just to avoid that. I wouldn't have been able to do it without nipple shields, wish I'd tried them earlier with my son, I managed to get off them just fine. Better nursing with nipple shields than getting to the point of no return and having to give up anyway (like me last time). You will get there! 🙌 Congratulations btw!

thank you so much for all the helpful and encouraging messages!

And just a few days after writing that things are SO much better and I'm so glad (so far) that I didn't give up.

I got some mw advice and I also bought some medela nipple shields (which are AMAZING) Baby is now putting on weight and has still not had a bottle of formula which I was so tempted to just give up and give her!

Yay!

Thank you again so much for all your helpful comments! Hopefully things will continue to get better

I once read ‘never give up on a bad day’

Oh well done. I was going to suggest nipple shields. I think you can get lanisoh on prescription btw - you could 3 years ago anyway! X