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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummies/soothers - Good or Evil?

43 replies

lucyellensmum · 13/05/2007 15:38

No reason, other than whittering away a raining sunday afternoon. What are peoples opinions on dummies? Used one for DD1, shes 16 now i think she lost it when she was about 3. Never used one for DD2 (2yrs) and mother in law really thought i should persevere with one (bless, shes old), dd2 is a happy thumb sucker and is gradually losing interest (phew - her thumb was getting soggy!).

So....discuss

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PinkTulips · 13/05/2007 15:41

the nurse sent me across to the shop to get one for dd when she was 3 days as she was feeding 24/7 and i was in agony, she's still incredibly sucky at 2 and will steal ds's if she gets a chance

with ds i got to 5 weeks without one and then decided that it was unfair to leave him crying every evening while i got her ready for bed just on principle so gave it to him and he loved it

if you can do without one great but i don't think anyone should feel guilty about using one if necessary

skay · 13/05/2007 15:44

I used a dummy for DS from day one.
DD didn't have one until she was fourteen days old. I caught her sucking her thumb and decided that I was not going to let her suck her thumb. These habits are very hard to break, and stopping dummy sucking is much easier than stopping thumb sucking. IMO anyway.

colditz · 13/05/2007 15:45

I think they are fantasic. They may be thought of as the preserve of the lazy parent - to hell with it. I won't leave a baby to needlessly cry, and when it's your second child you can't carry him/her around all the time.

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Flower3554 · 13/05/2007 15:45

Whenever I get a call asking me to take a new placement (foster mum) I make a shopping list of stuff eg nappies, formula, etc. Always always add pack of dummies to the list.

Sometimes I need them, sometimes, but not often, I don't.

I believe if they help with a sucky baby why not.

Roskva · 13/05/2007 15:45

Both - depends on how you use them

I give one to dd if she is really fractious, and it does help settle her. Also, if she wakes in the night, in goes her plug and peace is restored. I got her used to settling herself for sleep without it, though, and during the day, I don't let her have it all the time. So really, I use it as a soothing thing, but (hopefully) not an emotional prop.

colditz · 13/05/2007 15:47

Ds2 is 1 now, and only has his for sleeping. Ds1 gave his up at Christmas and hasn't had one since.

mosschops30 · 13/05/2007 15:51

Good, ds started with a dummy but then preferred his fingers. The outcome of this is that he sucks them a lot, I can never take them off him and they are all sore and blistered where he sucks them all night long. Oh and its probably ruining his teeth.

If I had my chance again I would actively encourage the dummy

Troutpout · 13/05/2007 15:53

Blardy brilliant if you can get them to have them. Mine wouldn't...not matter how much i tried to squash them in to their gobs...they just screamed around them.

Twinmummyx2 · 14/05/2007 07:34

Life savers!!!! Some of mine needed them, others didn't...my twins are 2.8 now and have them mainly for sleeping and when ill, and when i want them to calm down and stop running round the house like lunatics.

Nbg · 14/05/2007 07:38

I would love nothing more atm for ds to take a dummy.
He's never ever likes them and I have tried all different sorts. He uses the bottle too much for comfort, he still wakes in the night and I know full well if he had a dummy he could settle much better.

PregnantGrrrl · 14/05/2007 08:42

i don't like them myself, and i always thought it'd be better to try and not give DS one, because it meant never having to get it off him as he grew up. FIL kept asking why he didn't have one- as if it was a prerequisite of being a baby! DS is almost 11mths now, and has never taken to one.

Hopefully this baby will also do without.

Twinmummyx2 · 14/05/2007 09:29

Some of mine were like that nbg..thats why some of mine did and didn't.
Mine youngest Dt's finally took to theirs after a couple of weeks of trying and trying.
The twins before them wouldn't take them so they were having bits of milk from bottles here there and everywhere...just to suck.

How old is your DS??X

warthog · 14/05/2007 12:57

good.

i used to think they're evil but they helped my dd so much. she weaned herself off them at 1 year.

suwoo · 14/05/2007 13:11

I actively encouraged my DC's to have a dummy. I sucked my thumb until I was 14 I only stopped when my fixed brace was fitted and they told me they would remove it if I didn't stop. I had teeth like ugly betty, and even a head gear for night times! My kids were given a dummy literally the minute they were born- there was to be no thumb sucking in my house, I couldn't put them through that humiliation.

frances5 · 14/05/2007 20:41

Depends on the age of the kid. Its one thing for a baby to have a dummy completely another to have a five year old walking out with a dummy. If a dummy is used by an older child it can affect their speech.

It also depends how you are choosing to feed your baby. If you are formula feeding then it will stop a very sucky formula baby getting over weight. However excessive use of a dummy can upset breastfeeding. A breastfed baby needs to comfort suck to increase supply and a young baby can suffer nipple confusion.

Its silly to describe a dummy as evil. Provide the parents understand the risks and are strong enough to get their child to give up the dummy before toddlerhood, then I can't see any harm.

Loshad · 14/05/2007 21:01

Really dislike them, never used one with any of my 4, and they were never left to cry. Imo babies cry for a reason, and it never seemed the right response to just shove a dummy in. Can see why a foster mum might use one as obviously wouldn't be bf so baby might be harder to soothe.

Hilllary · 14/05/2007 21:06

dd1 had a dummy, dd2 did not, I think it depends on the child, some are very unsettled and quite frankly need one like my dd1 she was the worst baby, well fed, not wind, warm enough etc you'd go through the list and nothing would satisfy her, she loved her dummy and so did I. I took it away when she was 20 months. No speach delays nothing. DD2 was very sick in hospital, when she was awake they used to insist she had a dummy of which she constantly spat out, she needed changing/feeding etc but when we I was not there to do it they just used to shove a dummy in her mouth instead to shut her up (had many arguements about it but thats another story) she doesnt have a dummy and never did from the moment I got her home.

Two different children.

For me I needed dd1 to have a dummy or I would have gone mad! I dont like them but if needs must.

thelittleElf · 14/05/2007 21:06

I personally don't like them. If my nephew comes round with one in his mouth, i instantly take it out . My view is that they are called 'dummies' for a reason .

UCM · 14/05/2007 21:10

I don't like DS having one at night, but he wont go to sleep without it, I wait until he is sleeping which doesn't take long and take it out. It's starting to affect his teeth. At the moment the only reason he has one is because I give DD one. He has all of his cherry teat ones binned and is on one of the ones for newborns at the moment.

We didn't give him a dummy until about 11 months and that was because he teethed so painfully at times he wouldn't let us go near his mouth so a dummy was the only way to get Bonjela on him.

rantinghousewife · 14/05/2007 21:16

They really don't bother me, personally. Ds didn't have one (thumb sucker) but dd (who was a very grisly babe did. When she was 3, we posted it to the Easter Bunny without a word of protest and she never asked for it again (twas surprisingly easy). Can't really understand why peeps get so excited about them tbh, they're hardly likely to want a dummy at the age of 15, are they?

gegs73 · 14/05/2007 21:21

I think they can be brilliant depending on the baby/child. Though I only used the orthodontic ones as my teeth fell victim of cherry teat dummies!

DS had one more as a young toddler than a baby. I got rid of it just after his second birthday, had 2 days of whinging then it was gone and he was fine. He was beside himself when getting teeth through and had his full set including 2 lots of molars by the age of 2. Dummy was the only thing that would stop him screaming all day when they were coming through so it was a life saver. Really don't see the problem with them, though I admit I don't really like the look of them but needs must!

Lizzer · 14/05/2007 21:39

I hate them when they are ABused, "where's your dodo?" to a 2 year old trying to tell her mummy something she finds important....And I hate looking at a newborn's eyes and wondering what the rest of their beautiful face looks like without the plastic mask.

Personally won't use them as I would rather have sore nipples every now and again (and more milk supply) than a dummy addicted baby. I think dummies also massively contribute to women giving up b/feeding due to low milk supply - if they ain't supping it up, you ain't making any more...Cue stressed out mothers wondering why baby isn't putting on enough weight.

I thought that if you were f/feeding it would be pretty essential though as they can't comfort suck on an empty bottle, right? So they're not that evil.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VoodooMama · 15/05/2007 11:59

evil...except the ones that have comedy vampire teeth on them, they are funny.

Seriously, my dentist was overjoyed when i said dd had never had a dummy.

katierocket · 15/05/2007 12:00

"Personally won't use them as I would rather have sore nipples every now and again (and more milk supply) than a dummy addicted baby."

You can only be talking about your own personal experience then! Not all babies are comforted by just sucking on boobs.

Both my DSs have had dummies because they really really needed the comfort. They were (DS2 still is) breastfed but sometimes couldn't be sooted by breastfeeding but could by sucking on dummies - go figure.

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