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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummies/soothers - Good or Evil?

43 replies

lucyellensmum · 13/05/2007 15:38

No reason, other than whittering away a raining sunday afternoon. What are peoples opinions on dummies? Used one for DD1, shes 16 now i think she lost it when she was about 3. Never used one for DD2 (2yrs) and mother in law really thought i should persevere with one (bless, shes old), dd2 is a happy thumb sucker and is gradually losing interest (phew - her thumb was getting soggy!).

So....discuss

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

katierocket · 15/05/2007 12:02

"Imo babies cry for a reason, and it never seemed the right response to just shove a dummy in."

And that is utter rubbish - sorry, guess none of yours ever had colic then. Not talking about a bit of crying but hours and hours of screaming. Doesn't matter how many children you've had, unless you've had one like that you can't know what it's like. God you sound smug.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lizzer · 15/05/2007 12:46

Anniemac, its my opinion on dummies as the thread suggests, not a wind-up?????

Katie,I said I 'personally' wouldn't use them for that reason, if you've b/fed and used them that's fine, I just didn't want to risk a dummy addict,for, amongst other reasons, having the extra stress of always having them on standby, rushing to Boots/24hr garage if you've dropped one out the buggy - that sort of thing. When dd cried I put her on the breast for a comfort suck, if your baby cries (but not for a feed) it has a dummy, but if they hadn't had a dummy they wouldn't know they were missing it IYSWIM. Hence me not choosing to give dd one when she had colic every night for 4 weeks. Its not the definitive answer to colic, just one of them.

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frances5 · 15/05/2007 13:00

I have to admit I ever used a dummy, but why is it something to get so passionate about. My son wasn't fooled by a dummy and wanted the real thing.

I know of several people who exclusively breastfed their babies until at least 6 months and used a dummy. It is not impossible to breastfeed and use a dummy, but you have to be careful to avoid nipple confusion.

Sore nipples are caused by bad positioning or incorrect suckling. The Mum needs help to get the position right to stop breastfeeding being painful. Having cracked bleeding nipples is horrendous. Personally I think nipple shields are better in that kind of situation than a dummy. Its what I used for the first few days.

Before the breastfeeding matfia jumps on me, I breastfed my son for 33 months.

frances5 · 15/05/2007 13:01

A dummy is better than a mum getting postnatal depression.

themaskedposter · 15/05/2007 13:02

good - if they work for you and your dc

bad - if you use them for the wrong reasons

IMHO that is

sauce · 15/05/2007 13:05

Dummies are a godsend in the beginning but after the age of 2 they should be phased out. (ha! as if that's possible) Ds is almost 4 & I'm having a daily battle getting it out of his mouth. He's only supposed to have it at night - we tried to go cold turkey & couldn't stand his agonised screaming - and at nap-time. Dd, on the other hand, gave hers up of her own accord, at about 18 mos.

Diplidophus · 15/05/2007 13:07

Never used one but DS is now a thumb sucker. His thumb does get quite manky at times. No plans to use one with number 2 but hey - who knows?!

p.s. find 'God you sound smug'not to be a particularly useful contribution to a discussion

anniemac · 15/05/2007 13:28

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TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 15/05/2007 13:29

I think dummies look awful and I didn't use them for my 3 DCs. But they all suck fingers & thumbs and most of their friends don't - so now I think perhaps I should have put up with dummies in the short-term and binned them at around age 2. Ah well, what's done is done.

My girls, more so than DS1, are also very attached to their cuddly toys.

Rantum · 15/05/2007 13:31

I was grateful for my dummy, but ds is over 2 and still attached to his (emotionally and often physically) I don't let him have it when he is playing, but he still cries for it when he is tired and now I am not sure how I am going to break the habit... It does look unpleasant (also ds is as tall as a lot of over 3s so he gets really funny looks if I forget to take it from him when we are out).

twinkleinthesky · 15/05/2007 13:33

think I read once in a parenting book....

"Damned if you do.... damned if you don't"

that book was funny, wish I could remember what it was called ...

Rantum · 15/05/2007 13:35

BTW - pmsl about "nipple confusion" - I have never met ANYONE who had this problem with a dummy (although I have met Mum's who baby's just refused the dummy, which sounds great to me!)- think it is a problem dreamed up by hv's to give first time Mum's something MORE to worry about - like they need it.

And personally, my ds always knew where the milk came from!!!

anniemac · 15/05/2007 13:37

This reply has been deleted

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TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 15/05/2007 13:45

anniemac - I didn't consider that a possibility but now suspect my DCs would probably have done the same. They are very sucky/cuddly/strokey/generally tactile so they probably wouldn't just stop this behaviour because we threw the dummies away. They'll stop when they're ready !

DHs' sister is 40 and still sucks her thumb so maybe it's hereditary!

katierocket · 15/05/2007 15:42

4 weeks of colic.. must have been awful

Lizzer · 15/05/2007 16:50

Katie, sorry my memory's not as good as it was back in 2000, it was 8 weeks!! (2nd post) Argh! Oh how I love my selective memory! I hope this next one isn't the same! However, I'm hopeful it won't be the end of my 'no dummies' stance - however I promise to post right back here if I crack under the pressure LOL

"Damned if you do.... damned if you don't" I like that!

PurpleLostPrincess · 15/05/2007 23:39

DS had a dummy from a very young age and we put all of them into his stocking in exchange for presents when he was 2.7 - he never asked for it again.

DD1 sucked her thumb and we thought it was so cute, we didn't 'push' her to keep using her dummy - really regret that! She is now nearly 9 and she still sucks her thumb. Have managed to keep it do just night-time just lately. Spent about a year trying to stop her altogether because of complaints from her teachers that she was sucking it and going off into her own world. Also, the dentist was getting concerned about the way her teeth were growing... Nothing worked!

You can take a dummy away easily when they are ready but you can't take a thumb away!

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