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Parenting

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Original poster

Which is better - 2 the same or one of each??

34 replies

paddyclamp · 07/05/2007 15:39

I have got one of each, a boy then a girl. When we found out at the 20 wk scan our second was gonna be a girl i was really happy. But then at other times i feel sad that DS didn't get a brother to play with.

Just interested to hear other peoples experiences

OP posts:

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CarGirl · 07/05/2007 15:41

got 4 the same and I'm quite relived tbh as it's easier in terms of bedroom sharing, fewer toys and passing on clothes etc.

KerryMum · 07/05/2007 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoorstoManual · 07/05/2007 15:41

Two healthy children regardless of sex, is best IMO.

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Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

burstingbug · 07/05/2007 15:44

I've got 2 boys 2.2yrs and 8.5mths. DS2 adores his big bro, not sure that DS1 feels the same though

pedro · 07/05/2007 15:45

three kdi better than crappy two

kittypants · 07/05/2007 15:45

2 healthy

pedro · 07/05/2007 15:46

idnot say that
the sn gang ll haev you
stupid thread

unknownrebelbang · 07/05/2007 15:49

The only time I ever considered the sex of my children was when I was carrying DS3, and it was discovered my mum had secondary cancer. For one moment I did desperately want a little girl - for my mam and mil.

Totally irrational I know.

FWIW, I was convinced that I would have a boy, then a girl, so didn't consider any alternatives. I now have three boys, shows how much I know, lol.

maisemor · 07/05/2007 16:04

I had a girl first and when we found out (my husband's choice that we find out what sex, not mine) I actually got scared that we were having a boy and not a girl. We got them quite close together though and I was just starting to feel slightly in control of being a mum to a girl. Probably just hormones. I got over it after a week. They play really well together, both dressing up as princesses, playing with cars etc. I think it makes it easier for them not to get too stuck in the whole gender generalisation nonsense.

tassis · 07/05/2007 16:06

i can't believe anyone thinks one is actually better

both would be lovely

it took us 2 years to conceive number 2 and we were just thrilled to be giving ds a sibling

we have one of each which is lovely...but 2 the same would have been lovley too

maisemor · 07/05/2007 16:47

Who actually said that one would be better than the other?

tassis · 07/05/2007 17:28

maisie - it's in the thread title!

Original poster

paddyclamp · 07/05/2007 17:39

I wasn't implying one was better than the other. When i was pregnant i'd have been just as happy to have had another boy as i was to have one of each.

I guess it only when a friend of mine found out that she was having a second boy that she was like, ah but mine will play together, share toys etc etc that i got thinking.

Also my SIL (who has 2 girls) said something along the same lines. I agree it doesn't matter on the sex, to me anyway

OP posts:

flightattendant · 07/05/2007 18:41

Who is Pedro and what are they talking about?

flightattendant · 07/05/2007 18:43

I'm having another boy, disappointed at scan for about 5 minutes, then utterly relieved - I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a girl!! But that's just me. I think both ways have their good points.

ChaCha · 07/05/2007 22:36

I have 2 little boys, 14 months apart, smallest 3 months old. Is lovely although obviously can't compare, as they are close in age and don't have to fork out too much now on DS2. I'd love another regardless of gender. Can't believe how lucky i am to have two healthy kids!!! Sometimes feel that wanting another is pushing it.

1 of each must be lovely anyway

Robmad · 07/05/2007 22:47

Had one of each which is fabulous and then went and had another - which is even more fabulous.

But, IMO, the playing together thing has more to do with the age gap than the gender.

schneebly · 07/05/2007 22:51

I have 2 boys and they are so close but I think it may have more to do with a small age gap - 17 months between them.

crunchie · 07/05/2007 22:58

Yes of course we all agree 2 healthy or 2 is vbrilliant. BUT get real some of us have OPINIONS!!

I have 2 grls and FFIW When I found out DD2 was going to be a girl (at 28 weeks) I was GUTTED Firstly I had convinced myself she was gouing to be a he, and secondly because it meant I would have to go through it all again By this I mean I had a crap 1st pg ending in a 27 weeker prem baby so the 2nd pg was wracked with stress not joy tbh.

However once I got over the grievong for the 'lost boy' which might sound odd but I had to go through that, I was chuffed with my girl.

6 years on I have just those 2 beautiful girls, who love an hate witha passion, and I never did it again to have that boy either. (DH and I were always planning 3) I was worried my family wouldn't feel rigt without a boy and that DH would feel he needed a boy, but funnily enough when we discussed haveing a 3rd he would only do it if we could gaurenteee a girl and I would only to gaurentee a boy!! So we didn't.

For us 2 girls is perfect, but I am sure if I had one of each it would be perfect too. However In some ways 2 of the same seems easier to me when I see my friends of one of each who just don't get a;ong in the way mine do IYKWIM

hana · 07/05/2007 23:00

am happy to have 3 of the same

Eulalia · 07/05/2007 23:05

I have boy girl boy. For ages my first son and daughter didn't really get on although they do now, he is 7 and she's just turned 5 so maybe an age thing. Youngest boy is only 21 months so a bit young to relate to either of his siblings. I suppose it would have been easier to have had the two boys together and the girl either first or last but hey it doesn't matter. I am one of 4 girls myself and didn't really miss having a brother although I guess having the 2 sons kind of makes up for it in a way.

Malaleche · 07/05/2007 23:08

pedro is Cod and she thinks having 2 kids is naff...
I think being too old and too poor to have a third is a bit naff too but there you go....

I've got 2 girls, always knew i'd have 2 girls, i'm happy. But if i was younger and less weary i'd have a couple more.....am eldest of 4.

cece · 07/05/2007 23:13

I have one of each and had no opinion about this before. In a way I think I would have liked No 2 to be another girl so I could have convinced DH to have a thrid and hope it was a boy!

Otherwise I was not bothered either way. Although I do get a lot of 'aren't you luckyt to have one of each' - mainly form older people I have noticed. LOL

hana · 07/05/2007 23:23

but you knkow, if I had a different combo I'd say [whatever that combo was]
I don't hanker after something that I don't have or won't ever ahve

emilytankengine · 08/05/2007 20:31

Who is cod?

I have 2 dds and a ds. The girls fight like cat and dog and DS too little to play as yet.

When i was a kid i have 4 little brothers. Loved having little brothers. Any desire for a sister went after little brother #2 was born. When my mum got pregnant next it was twins and i was so happy when they were both boys. Even wanted her to have a fifth boy so we had a mini football team.

But... there was always part of me that felt left out being the only girl. Often used to wish i'd been a boy too

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