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Parenting

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Original poster

My DD 7 told her teacher....

29 replies

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 15:49

...That she was scared that she will be in "serious trouble from Mummy" for getting dirty at school. Don't get me wrong she has slight reminders to try not to get massively sludged up or ruin her shoes (new pair a fortnight!) as usual but wow! Her teacher pulled DH aside to ask and I'm mortified 😶 Does everyone's DC do this to them?! She'll be the death of me 😂

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Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 16:56

...

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OldHag1 · 08/03/2018 16:57

Lol yep. Kids eh? Did your DH laugh it off?

OpalTree · 08/03/2018 17:01

Ha ha. She probably liked how dramatic it sounded.

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Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 17:02

He was stunned tbh 😂 He just said she had been told we didn't want a replay of yesterday morning which was her running full speed down to school and ended face down in a pile of sludge and had to come back home to be changed which the teacher was fully aware of also. She must also witness the daily state of her 🙈 Oh the shameeee lol 😂

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BeyondThePage · 08/03/2018 17:04

lol - mine used to tell the teacher mummy would "tan her behind from here to next Tuesday" if she was a cheeky little monkey again

She heard her Grandad use it and it appealed to her.

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 17:08

Omg that's hilarious! She was dressed as Matilda today so maybe she was embracing the role 😂

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BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 08/03/2018 17:11

My 6yo has told his teacher he only gets 1 bath a week. This is true but he neglected to tell her he showers every other day.

He's also told her I never change his bed sheets. I do them weekly, during school hours & half the time I can't be bothered to fight with the airing cupboard to get the second set out so just put the same ones back on.

Babdoc · 08/03/2018 17:16

Oh, this brings back memories! My favourite one was a friend’s toddler, who was ill with a high temp and terrible vomiting, couldn’t keep down any oral medication, so her parents had to give her paracetamol suppositories. When she returned to nursery a few days later, she earnestly told the carer : “ Daddy stuck something up my bottom!”.
Fortunately, her mum overheard and was able to explain before the aghast carer phoned Social Services!
My own DD, aged 5, (but reading age of 12) was reading Treasure Island with the headmistress of her primary school. They reached the bit about Billy Bones dying of rum induced dt’s. DD announced, in tones of horror:”But Mummy gives me rum!” The head and I were later in fits of laughter, when, after much puzzling, I remembered that I put a tablespoonful of rum into my home made chocolate cakes!

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 17:36

Wow! 😂 It does make you wonder what they say that we don't get to hear about doesn't it!

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Bouledeneige · 08/03/2018 17:41

My DS when around 10 told the teacher I didn't mind if he played rounders or football with a broken arm!

He also wrote in his life story that when his small pet died I threw it in the bin.

Hmmm I thought, I sound like a nice Mummy.

MachineBee · 08/03/2018 17:49

My DSD told her primary school teacher that I was abusing her and went into graphic detail. I wasn’t. Although I did insist on regular meals, bedtimes, showers and fresh laundry when my DSCs were with us.

She got a bit confused with dates and times - usually when I wasn’t with her and fortunately for me the school didn’t take it all at face value and investigated. Seems she was trying to get her DPs attention and saw me as expendable collateral damage.

I’ve always been rather wary of her since then.

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 08/03/2018 19:16

@Machine Bee I'd be very weary too! That's awful 🙈

@Bouledeneige That's one way to get rid of them, especially if they didn't fit down the loo 😂

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sarararararah · 08/03/2018 19:20

I’m a teacher. KS1. I usually end up saying at some point in the year, “If you promise not to believe everything they say about school, we promise not to believe everything they say about home!” (Safeguarding concerns excluded, obviously.)

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 08/03/2018 19:28

DS2's teacher approached me recently and said "I understand that this is sensitive but DS2 mentioned today that you're expecting and I just thought I ought to warn you in case it's not common knowledge" (because I work in the Reception class at his school and the Head would be upset to say the least if it turned out DS2 had announced a pregnancy before I'd mentioned it to her). I am very definitely not pregnant. In fact, I don't even have ovaries any more. I was just mortified.

He also mentioned to her that I'd fallen off the sofa and dropped a glass of gin up the wall one Saturday evening (it was my first drink so wasn't even drunk). That was lovely.

youarenotkiddingme · 08/03/2018 19:32

My ds aged 5.

"Mummy hit me around the head with my book bag when I walked out of the door"

(Ds pushed past me by going under his book bag to get out first!)

Aged 6 "mummy said she'll have to break my legs if I won't go in tonight"

(Ds chest of drawers wouldn't shut so I said I'd have to break the legs off (runners) and re fit some more)

Aged 8

"Mum said she will throw the plates at me if I don't finish my dinner"

(I was doing a small buffet for close friends and we'd been out and bought plastic ones to bin anything not eaten and not able to go back into fridge):

Ds has communication problems as part of his disability - luckily for me he drops school in it too by mis representing the truth - so we just laugh it off!

VaguelyAware · 08/03/2018 19:35

I recently discovered that I quite like gin. (Previously almost teetotal; I'm getting on for 40.) DH keeps joking that I'll turn into an old lush, and if course DD keeps repeating it...

OpalTree · 08/03/2018 19:46

Ha ha at "tan her behind from here to next Tuesday"

Sarar - they said that at the info evening before dd1 started reception

sijjy · 08/03/2018 19:54

My now 11 yr old ds. Told his nursery teacher when he was 3. That I got buzz lightyear to look after him when I went out. He had the action figure. Luckily his teacher had children so knew this probably wasn't true. He also told his teacher that his grandad was in prison for stealing his dads car. Also not true. Lol

Applesandpears23 · 08/03/2018 20:03

My 3 year old told nursery “Daddy is fighting and has gone away”. He had gone for a weekend retreat with friends to do some acting and had shown her his plastic sword.

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 09/03/2018 09:08

These have had me in stitches! Glad I'm not alone!

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phlewf · 09/03/2018 09:18

My ds first day of nursery, at the nursery my mum was head of, playing with the shop “better get granny’s wine” and proceeded to empty boxes into the trolly. The staff howled he thought he was hilarious. Needless to say his granny doesn’t drink boxed wine by the trolly full and he never even went shopping with her!

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 09/03/2018 10:24

A lot of adults being made to look like alcoholics here haha!

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Donewithlife · 09/03/2018 10:34

Oh God when small my dc told the children they weren't allowed friends over (day after a sleep over :S), that they had burns all down their arms (one tiny mark from ironing a woggle thing AT SCOUTS, that their Dad who didn't live with us and had no contact with any more stabbed a door and told me the teacher had said she thought I was crazy.

Honestly the fact that I have got them to teens without social services is a miracle tbh!

Donewithlife · 09/03/2018 10:35

Or teacher even.

Original poster

FallenAngel89 · 09/03/2018 10:51

I have 4 DC so I don't know how I've made it this far without it before 😂 I think the teacher thinks I'm a clean freak or something as she pointed out that "children do get dirty", I'm all for it (I have 4) but the states DD7 comes home In...we're talking half the mud off the field and no fronts left on her shoes! Nightmare. If telling her to try and make sure she doesn't get into such a state makes me a little crazy I'll take it
Might go have myself a couple boxes wine and give them Mars bars for tea, give them something to talk about haha!

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