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Original poster

DH announced he’s bored

53 replies

Zazzleza · 01/03/2018 12:36

DH announced this morning that he’s bored of mundane routine.
He’s bored of talking about nothing but children.
I’m a SAHM and expecting our second baby so that has hit me to the core. Firstly I don’t think we talk about children all the time although it is quite a large part of our current life so inevitable.
He also said he is worried about how we will afford another child. Very odd considering we planned no.2 for at least 6months and he has a good job- we won’t be hard up. He feels he doesn’t get a chance to spend any money on himself and all he does is work.
I can’t help but feel he is blaming me for him feeling like this.
We are normally so “together” but I feel he resents me in the past few days. If he is bored of our life, there is little I can do about it.

OP posts:
frasier · 01/03/2018 12:48

How selfish of him!

I hope this is just a wobble, you don't need the stress. It's unfair of him to do this. If he has suddenly realised that money will be tighter he should discuss it like an adult, not act like a teenager.

I hope he apologises.

Believeitornot · 01/03/2018 12:49

If he’s bored, he’s should come up with suggestions instead of moaning.

TheInvisiblePieceofShit · 01/03/2018 12:51

Ask him for his suggestions for change.

He's being a selfish twat imo. Telling his pregnant wife this - had he even considered how it might make you feel?

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yellowisthecolour · 01/03/2018 12:58

You need to discuss this again.
Ask him what his solutions are. Be honest and tell him he upset you.
Does he enjoy his job?
When did he last take time off work?
Is it the winter months getting him down?
Is he planning on taking any extra time off when dc2 comes along?

Worldsworstcook · 01/03/2018 13:35

It's not up to you to entertain him. If he's bored ask him what he is going to do about it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/03/2018 13:38

Sadly I don’t believe there any many men who value the SAHM anymore, they think it’s a free ride when In actual fact they should be lucky they aren’t forking out a fortune for child care and couldn’t cope for a day looking after babies/ kids.

Does he have any hobbies etc that he isn’t able to afford atm?

HotCrossBun12 · 01/03/2018 13:52

No advice to give I'm afraid, just wanted to say that I'm going through something similar with my DH. I know how upsetting this stuff is. Thanks

AnyFucker · 01/03/2018 13:55

Only boring people are "bored"

Do you think someone may have caught his eye and he is going through the process of self justifying bad behaviour ? Devaluing your family life is a classic cheater's move.

Backingvocals · 01/03/2018 13:58

God aren't we all. I bet you are bored, looking after a little one and being pregnant. It's hardly a week in Vegas is it? Welcome to adult life and parenthood.

I would be pretty furious if I were you. To be fair to him, it's the end of the very long hard winter and everyone I know is losing it on some level or other. Mostly they are not taking it out in their nearest and dearest though. I would give him a chance to be constructive and make nice suggestions and then if still no improvement I'd be having some very stern words.

mikado1 · 01/03/2018 13:59

God, I feel the same as him sometimes, and I'm a sham at the moment. It can be mundane and if I said it to my dh I hope he'd listen and empathise and reassure me it's normal to feel like that sometimes but it's all worth it. Of course it is but sometimes I can feel like I'm fed up with it all. On the money side it seems to be quite a male thing to worry about providing; I'd just point out you're ok and it will be fine. If it's true he doesnt spend on himself, tell h nothing stopping him buying a few things. Sometimes a small spree gives me a great lift.

mikado1 · 01/03/2018 14:00

Sahm! Blush

Blinkyblink · 01/03/2018 14:01

Sneaking suspicion he’s had his head turned

GreenSeededGrape · 01/03/2018 14:01

Could he have just been sounding off? Tbh I feel this way sometimes when I'm cleaning up after everyone again, doing another load of washing and I also have wondered out loud if we can afford 2 dc and both are very much wanted.

Is he under pressure at work? Does he know all you do, not just what the dc get up to?

Tralalee · 01/03/2018 14:03

Blimey. At least he's talking to you honestly about it. Poor bloke. It IS boring having small kids!

MMcanny · 01/03/2018 14:08

It can be a bit relentless tbh. Could he maybe reduce his hours? Maybe you could get back to work and share the load more evenly? Will he be able to take a significant chunk of paternity leave? You could work around each other so your childcare costs didn’t increase but maybe you’d both get a few hours childfree/guiltfree time each week. I don’t think it’s selfish of him to voice how he feels. If you don’t feel the same maybe you’re getting the better deal and it would be fairer to split the time at home/at work. If you do feel the same ditto. Good luck.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 01/03/2018 14:10

He's talking about his feelings to you, that's what a partner is for but if it's hinted that it's aĺl your fault then that's not fair. He should find a hobby to break routine.

Missingstreetlife · 01/03/2018 14:13

Maybe you need a holiday, can you take a short break before baby?

Qs333 · 01/03/2018 14:21

Just saying he is bored seems unfair. But I can understand that being the sole provider would be stressful and frustrating.

OuchBollocks · 01/03/2018 14:25

If he's juat venting, that's one thing. Life with small kids is boring. But it does sound as if he's had his head turned by something or someone and he's retconning his life into one where he is hard done by justify it.

InDubiousBattle · 01/03/2018 14:28

Is he just having a bit of a moan or genuinely apportioning blame?

StormTreader · 01/03/2018 14:30

I suspect the reality of the impending second child has hit him, and hes thinking about all the extra costs and night feeding etc and hes having a bit of a whinge about it.

Original poster
Zazzleza · 01/03/2018 14:31

The head turned comment is something that concerns me, yes. He has always made it very clear that he finds pregnant women unattractive. It worries me that I have become boring (and fat!) and there are probably younger more fun women at work that he’d quite like to be playing with. He rarely mentions women at work too. Something that makes me suspicious. It’s not as though the company is 100% male.

I have every intention of going back to work part time in the time scales we have agreed and discussed. I am still receiving an income from my previous company so whilst not a considerable amount, I still contribute to the household and cover our monthly bills.

He is still able and still continues to do his hobbies. In fact he does everything he did pre-children.

I am really angry but also hurt and now suspicious.

OP posts:
MrsElvis · 01/03/2018 14:36

I feel he's laying the groundwork now to later say it's not working.... sorry

frasier · 01/03/2018 14:42

He's told you he finds pregnant women unattractive?

That's disgusting.

Have you told him that you find men that behave like whiny 14 year olds unattractive?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/03/2018 14:43

How bloody mean of him. He's just feeling sorry for himself. It's not your job to entertain him either.