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Parenting

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Original poster

Washed uniforms last night and didn't put them in the dryer

139 replies

earlgrey · 04/05/2007 06:38

And dd1 will moan like hell 'cos I haven't got time to freeze them properly.

Any ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NuttyMuffins · 04/05/2007 11:28

Blimey Earlgrey, my kids can be a right royal pain in the ass sometimes, but they would never sit and dictate to me how they wanted their clothes, well if they did they wouldn't do it twice.

Why do you let them do this ?? I can see you've kind of got stuck in the routine of letting them get their own way but why ?

NuttyMuffins · 04/05/2007 11:29

If they won't put their uniform on because it isn't just how they like it then take them to school in their pj's.

LIZS · 04/05/2007 11:30

fgs just who is the adult here ? It should be enough that they are clean and dry without any fuss over temperature or your dd1's lip. earlgrey, you have to break out of this cycle of allowing them all to control you. I know you know that but doing it is something else. Did you make any progress last week btw ?

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PenelopePitstops · 04/05/2007 11:35

just set a time you need to leave dressed or not and walk out the door, dragging them if you need to and they will pout the clothes on the next day. Its worth one meltdown for a lifetime of not having to put up with this. Explain to them the night before, they will not be mentally damaged for life and go for it.

climbingwalls · 04/05/2007 12:44

Earlgrey, these kids have complete and utter control over you!! I am at what your dd said to you.

You are not their servant or personal slave, stop letting them think you are!

I hope you get some help and manage to sort this out, those dds need to show you some respect and you need to get a backbone and demand it! Otherwise they will only get worse and you'll have two teenagers that behave like those kids you see on brat camp.

climbingwalls · 04/05/2007 12:45

and I agree with others that when meltdown happens, it will only be a few times before they realsie you mean business.

If you leave the house for school at a sertain time they will have to come with you, in whatever they are wearing.

colditz · 04/05/2007 12:49

Earlgrey, this is brattishness and it has to stop before they end up with no friends.

Stop doing it. And if they haul off and refuse to get dressed, send them naked. (they will soon get dressed)

And if they are late for school, tell their teachers precisely why they are late for school.

By letting them behave like this, you are doing them no favours at all. They will grow up with an overinflated sense of entitlement to special treatment, and will feel unhappy and wronged when they don't get it. Because they won't get it from anyone else!

ceolas · 04/05/2007 12:50

this would require a bit more organisation on your part, but I would have their clothes ready fro them getting up in the morning. If you need to wash/dry them do it the night before. Have them hanging in their rooms and they dress themselves before they get any breakfast/are allowed out of their bedroom.

Explain beforehand what you are going to do and what will happen if they don't. You'll need to have some sort of sanction up your sleeve - missing a club or no TV - whatever works in your house.

You cannot go on like this

princessmel · 04/05/2007 12:59

What happened EG?

Are you going to stop feezing the clothes?

Is it only school clothes or all clothes?

FiveFingeredFiend · 04/05/2007 13:04

Dear god.

where has the word "no" dissapeared to?

"NO" off to school

am i missing something?

Blandmum · 04/05/2007 13:07

at how your dd spoke to you. Utterly out of order.

They have no right to treat you like this. They have the right to learn the meaning of the word 'no' and the responsibility to learn to cope with it.

What do they do in other places when they don't get their way? Are you the only person that they are this rude to?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 04/05/2007 13:08

This IS going to turn out to be a joke, right??

WHY are you doing this Earlgrey? I mean, why did it start? What made you give into a request for uniform to be "put in the freezer" just once, in the first place?

Sorry but I think you are doing them a real disservice by allowing them to think it's ok to dicate to you in this way. Mother Earth I am not, I make all kinds of parenting mistakes daily I assure you.. but this is a problem you have allowed.. (if it's actually serious.. still doubting it tbh).

Just trying to imagine myself in the morning, juggling breakfast, medication, washing/dressing/attempting not to get beaten senseless by SN 6 year old, supervising physio of 14 year old, doing my makeup (my one fussy vanity!), checking for 6 yr old's school bus, etc etc.... and, making sure their uniform was the right temperature... ??!!!

Unless these children have autism I just don't understand this at all.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 04/05/2007 13:09

DH carries them down? They do have special needs then? Have I misunderstood?

onlyjoking9329 · 04/05/2007 13:12

must admit i think it is a joke, unless there are some SN issues.

LIZS · 04/05/2007 13:13

SHP there is a history of this type of controlling and manipulative behaviour, almost to the point of abuse on eg's family's account. The dd's are merely an extension of h's attitude. I suspect she won't post on this thread again though

QuitYourJibberJabber · 04/05/2007 13:13

earlgrey I'm very sorry for you

LIZS · 04/05/2007 13:13

of course oj could be right too ....

Blandmum · 04/05/2007 13:14

Do your children have sn earlgrey?

saltire · 04/05/2007 13:15

I remeber the socks as well EG. I think everyone on here is right, you need to stop this now - you are the adult.

I have on more than occasion taken to DS2 to school in things other than his school uniform. Once he went in his pyjamas because he refused to get dressed. Once in the snow he went without a coat because he refused to wear one. Once he went in jeans and a t-shirt becasue he wouldn't wear his unform. he got into trouble at school for the last one.

I have often called the school and said
"We are going to be late today because DS2 (it's usually him) won't do X,Y or Z". He does it all now - most of the time.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 04/05/2007 13:16

LIZS, Earlgrey must want help and for this to stop for this to have been posted in such a "causal" way.. mustn't she?

I can't believe this thread. It's upsetting.. and tragic.. and that's just to read!

Don't let this happen anymore Earlgrey please!! You are worth more!

hatwoman · 04/05/2007 13:21

I too am unsure if I have been duped, but having said that, and just in case....(and echoing Shinyhappypeople in that I make more than my fair share of mistakes) fwiw here's my twopennorth. (makes it worth 2p doesn't it...?)

you need to establish a new routine. you need to do that away from teh normal early morning stress. You need to do this in a positive way - children enjoy responsibility, enjoy having roles, being a productive part of the family - and this is what they (and you) need. You establish some form of ground rules (eg you don;t do everything; they have to do 3 jobs each; they have to be in the kitchen for 7.50; you will nto be freezing their clothes) then you work together how to implement them - eg let them choose their morning jobs - they can be as trivial as getting the cereal out of the cupboard - it doesn;t matter - it's a principle.

Blandmum · 04/05/2007 13:21

life is all about learning that choices have consequences. for all of us. if children's behaviour have no consequneces they don't learn.

SparklyGothKat · 04/05/2007 13:27

omg, I hope this is a joke, but my kids get themselves into their uniform, each morning before they watch tv. They also get their own cereal, in the morning. My youngest is 5 so DS, who is 9, helps her with the cereal. My dd1 is 6 and has mild CP and ADHD and even she gets herself dress, as well as DS who has modarate CP

onlyjoking9329 · 04/05/2007 13:27

i agree with the wise & wonderful MB
my three have autism and i wouldn't allow them to get away this that level of control,cos that is what it is.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 04/05/2007 13:30

It think it's serious Sparkly. Have just been reading some of EarlGrey's other posts in "stalkerish" behaviour totally unlike myself..

EarlGrey am sorry for thinking this was a joke. This is NOT normal and your life is being made unecessarily hard. I don't know exactly what role your H plays in this, or much about your relationship with him (and you don't have to say..) but things need to change; they really do, for ALL your sakes.

Did you know that Relate do family counselling? I have read the paper work, it looks really good and as if it could help you. Could you talk to your H about this?

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