Gina Ford (or any other) method and its successful method implementation?

[LadyRenoir]

I'm a new mum, so please forgive a daft question.

This is not meant to be a criticism of a method- this or others, I know some will work for certain babies and no others. I am just wondering how members went around implementing it if they worked for them.

I am currently at 8 weeks (ff baby) exhausted, tired and feeling very lonely. A friend has recommended the book, and so I got a copy to read. The method seems quite strict, which is the whole point.

But I have spent most f the the last 8 weeks cooped up in the living room/bedroom, and I am really desperate to venture out and spend more time outside. So I suppose my question is- how did people go about using any method that uses time specifics and marry it with being outside, whether going to the park, playgroups, shopping, for a coffee? I have been going to the local soft play (where my baby is too little to do anything, as they sleep most of the time), but this is meant to be the time baby sleeps.

I am of course aware that you will need to change certain elements of it to suit your needs, but I am just wondering how did people go about those changes to implement the method, but still be able to do other stuff.

I loosely followed GF from about 9/10 weeks. DS slept in a sling/the car/the pram. Naps don’t have to be at home in the cot!

Plan outings around naps - so if you know they will be awake for an hour in the morning then nap, go out at nap time, and they sleep in pram/sling, spend 60-90 minutes at baby group or rhyme time or whatever awake time is, then nap on way home.

What is the advantage of the "method"?
Just take your baby out and about with you as normal - they will sleep when they need to.

Have you got any other mum friends? I have a 5 week old baby who sleeps terribly but I ensure I do one thing a day. It might be a walk in the park with other nct mum friends or we went to the cinema the other day. I feel like I've succeeded if I've done one thing, I don't plan more than 1 thing. Yesterday, we went in the car to a friends to pick up a sling, was going to stay for a cuppa but baby crying for a feed and didn't want to get locked into cluster feeding at a friends. Today, we are going to the cranial osteopath (my DD only turns head to right), tomorrow going to HV baby clinic. Do you have any night time routine at all? You should get outside as it'll help baby realise the difference between night and day. My DD doesn't but this last week we have been playing her white noise, which really soothes her. Do you use white noise? We've also started giving her a bath at 8:30. It's so hard!!!!

Rather than doing a timed routine you can just aim for a pattern to your day eg wake up, feed, some awake time, nap. The awake time gets longer and naps/feeds less frequent as they get older.

8 weeks is still very young to have any real routine tbh. You will probably find one naturally emerging over the coming months. At that age I just took ds wherever I wanted to go and he either slept in the buggy or the sling . He was over 6 months before he slept in his cot for naps.

The baby whisperer is more friendly and relaxed and I found confidence building.

The reason for trying to implement the 'routine' is that the baby sleeps on me most of the time, not in the cot, and feeds are erratical, he also tends to overdrink for comfort, which makes his reflux worse.
I will be speaking about it to HV when I next see her, as obviously a medical problem is involved, but I am on my own until the evening when my husband comes home and it's not sustainable. I can't be a good mum being so stressed and exhausted, so Im doing it for me and him, trying to implement something that in long term would benefit the baby and myself.

@thingymaboob- I am new to the are so don't know many people, and no new mums. I kind of spend most days on my own except for once when I go out to the children centre, or GP. The baby cries a lot and feeds at all sorts of times, so I guess this stops me from venturing out, as I am afraid of being caught out in the middle of the street with a baby crying their head off in the pram, wanting to eat or just wanting to cry... Also please tell about the cranial osteopath, I was looking into it for baby colic and reflux, etc, but know no one here who can say anything about it.

@welshweasel - silly question, but when you started at week 1, did you follow the routine from that week, or did you start from Gina's week 1, just changing the feed quantities?

Have you got a sling? My 5 month old still often naps in the sling.

I started the routine at the correct week (so missed out the first couple of chapters). It worked brilliantly and actually enabled me to get my day planned much better as I could commit to being places at a certain time. Also helped hugely with night sleep. He slept through (with the 1030 dream feed) from a week or two after starting the routine.

Sounds like you need some mum friends - it'll help you normalise your situation. I just went to the park and all of the babies were crying at different times so we found a cafe and fed ourselves and our babies. The other day my baby was going mental and I was trying to feed her but she wouldn't latch and I managed to spray breastmilk on my friend. She just laughed as we are all in the same boat. You just have to bite the bullet. Try finding a baby massage course as it's suppose to be good for colic and you'll meet other mums there too.

Crying babies are much quieter and easier to deal with outside. And often the motion soothes them to sleep. So basically you feed them, change them and then try to go out and do what you want to do. Mostly it works, occasionally you give up and go home.

@Marcine - I do have the sling, but then he naps in it almost all the time, and that does not work with the nap times of the routine.

Also, baby is sometimes hungry after the feeds, or halfway through what should be a nap, but he is hungry and won't sleep. So now I don't know if I should feed him and reduce his next 'planned' feed', or distract him with a dummy.

@GeorgeTheHippo - you should have seen him last week on our way to GP. He ate just before, and then got hungry and cried his head off the whole way in his pram!

Obviously I know I need to adapt the routine to what suits is, but it's a starting point and I dont want to get too far away from it.
Our baby is quite unsettled and there is no way he would spend more than 5-10 minutes on his mat, so 2 hours of playtime while I do something is totally unrealistic.

I honestly find the most relaxed way is to go with their cues for feeding and naps and not worry if it fits some pre-determined schedule that your baby isn't aware of.

Honestly op I think you could drive your self mad trying to stick to any kind of regimented routine at this age. Look for hunger cue and feed when your baby is hungry. There should always be some milk left in the bottle, if not add an oz next time. Look for tiredness cues and that's when it's time for a nap. As a very general rule I would not expect a baby of this age to ever be awake for more than 90 mi utes so after an hour or so of awake time you could think about naps, either settle yourself on the sofa and let him nap on you or maybe go out for a walk so he can sleep in either the buggy or the sling. 2 hours doing anything (other than sleeping) is totally unrealistic for my 2.5 year old never mind an 8 week old!

Ok, my own view is that most of these methods have a couple of decent bits you can use but being determined to follow one method sets you up for a lot of heartache. All babies are different, and yours is still tiny - really just go with the flow in the early days.

By eight weeks I was still recovering physically and nonisea what I was doing - getting out of the house is hard! Sometimes you’re all ready then they cry/need a feed/do a massive shit and all that is NORMAL, it really is.

My advice would be to just go with the flow. If you want to get out don’t make it time dependent - say ‘I’m going to go for a walk this afternoon, whenever it happens.’ And just take it from there.

It does get easier, you do eventually get out on time - ish, but at eight weeks everything so new.

2 hours of playtime is laughable at this age. Basically they wake, feed, shit and sleep again. Feed him when he needs it, let him sleep when he sleeps and fit life in around that however you can.

Stop beating yourself up - very few babies take a tight schedule at this age. Just go with the flow

Your baby is tiny and just wants to be with you all the time - that's why it wants to nap on you, it will pass. I would aim for one outing at a set time every day just to begin with - baby could have nap while out, will naturally become a routine. Early/mid morning has always worked for us - get everything sorted and ready to go while baby has first nap of day, out for a couple of hours and back for lunch.

Personally, I'm dead against these strict routines. Sure kids usually respond well to routine, but it needs to be a movable feast or it will impact on everyone and everything and 'doing things' becomes difficult , it is also not sustainable long term.

My bil does Gina Ford, we have a same aged kid (we also have 2 other kids) when we're all together he dictates times of meals/outings/home time etc. With no regard for our 3 dc. We see them as little as possible at the moment as we were sick of having our day interrupted and dicatated to by a toddlers routine. Perhaps when they're older we will see them more again.

Forget about the routines, Gina Ford would never have worked for my babies - they change so quickly at this age that the routine this month will be completely different the next! Concentrate on getting out and meeting people instead - hopefully there's baby groups or activities in your area, or you could try meetup - or just talking to others with babies. Having friends is much more likely to make you happy that Gina Ford!

Forget about the GFroutines. They didn’t work with my dcs, made me feel awful, like I had somehow failed.
Follow the lead of your baby. They will have a routine of their own, that they will be very happy to follow!, which will also allow you to get out of the house, go and see people etc....
Also worth remembering that these routines might work very well for a settled baby but not for a baby that has reflux and is in pain (because that’s what reflux is - pain).

Re the reflux, if your baby is suffering from reflux, I’m not surprised he only want to sleep on you, rather than lying down. It won’t be as uncomfortable for him. Same with the feeding for comfort.
I would double check that your baby isn’t reacting to dairy and would have a word with the GP about it. And actually if you can have a screaming baby when you go and see them, it’s even better. Then there is no discussion about being a first time mum that is over reacting.

Last word but not least, please get out of the house. It doesn’t matter if your baby is creaming whiostnyou are our or wants a feed. Just stop, sit down on a bench to feed him. Forget about anyone else.
But don’t just stay stuck in the house because it’s the best way down to PND.
You are looking after your baby and very well for what it looks like. You also need to look age yourself, which includes going and seeing other peole, adults. So make a point of going to a baby group, even if it fall in one of the allocated slots for a nap.
Go out and meet people. These mums will also be a great support and source of advice which will help too as well as making you realise babies do cry and it’s ok if they do so when you are out and about.

Oh and YY to going to see a cranial osteopath too!

I also had a reflux baby diagnosed at 8 weeks and later diagnosed with cmpa at 11 weeks (the reflux was a symptom of the allergy). What symptoms does your baby have? Have they been prescribed any medication?

I did Gina Ford from about 7/8 weeks and looking back I got too stressed when he wasn't napping when he was supposed to etc but I would use it again for next baby. Once the reflux was under control he started sleeping through with just the dream feed at 10:30 (slept 7-7). It does work.

I started at the right number of weeks and as long as you start the day and aim for the routine it will fall into place after some time. If the day goes off track don't worry just keep to the rules of not letting baby get overtired by monitoring awake time.

What you might not know, is that GF is not a mother. She has not had to implement her book 'plan'. Therfore it totally negates anything the book says imo.

Just muddle through, which is what most people do, and always have done. Do your best, as that's all you can do.

Don’t listen to GF. She’s doesn’t even have kids. Just go outside with your baby and feed it when it’s hungry.

Oh and it was difficult to get out for the first 3 months but then I would plan around the naps - so maybe go out and plan to be in the car for nap time etc. Tbh it took me a while to want to go out - I just wanted to sleep when he was sleeping

He's still really little and just needs to be close to you. I wouldn't worry about putting him into a routine. I found that my son has found his own routine and I just follow his lead. He's now 5months and we go out lots and he sleeps in the pushchair or sling, if we're at home he naps on me.

Go out to baby groups and meet people, don't worry if he cries, everyone else there will be parents too and know what it's like! It will do you both good to get out and about, it doesn't matter if it's a naptime according to a book.