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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you let your parents take your 3 year old on holiday.

66 replies

LandSmum · 02/05/2007 22:43

My partner and I get on excellently with my parents and they are brilliant with our 2 dd's. DD1 has just turned 3 and my parents have asked if they could take her on holiday with them this year to give us a rest - DD2 is only 11 weeks and breastfeeding so impossible for them to take her too.
I trust them completely and know that she would be as well looked after with them as she is at home but I am in a complete dilemma as to wether to allow her to go or not (they are paying by the way). I think its partly selfish of me because I know how much I would miss her, she would obviously miss us but she would have so much fun and she is really close to my parents that I dont think it would bother her that much.

What would you do?

OP posts:

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QueenofBleach · 02/05/2007 23:02

My SIL's parents take five of their grandshildren away every year for a few days and have done since the youngest was 2 and a half. They do see them and have them to stay regulalry.

pointydog · 02/05/2007 23:04

I have done.

pointydog · 02/05/2007 23:05

Wasn't abroad.

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Washersaurus · 02/05/2007 23:14

ChasingSquirrels, don't tease...I meant when he is old enough to properly understand being away from us for that long and is actively seeking to escape our company

ChasingSquirrels · 02/05/2007 23:19

yeah, i was teasing a little - but it is a valid point I think, don't know the answer though! Never probably

unknownrebelbang · 02/05/2007 23:40

My parents took my eldest on holiday when he was 3.

Boredveryverybored · 02/05/2007 23:45

I havn't read the thread but I absolutely would! My dd is very close to my parents and has a great time when she's with them and I'm guessing you're in a similar situation.
My parents ask every year if they can take dd on holiday with them, they took her the first time, and she was 3 then and had the most fantastic time..as did I, a week of lie ins and nights out! fantastic! lol
they've wanted to take her each year since but they go during school time so it hasn't been possible.
I would absolutely say let her go. You will miss her, of course you will, but you can really look forward to seeing her again, all full of stories for you

nappyaddict · 03/05/2007 01:00

definitely. we took my cousins on holiday with us for 2 weeks when they were 3.

we had been having them for 4 days at a time since they were 1.

twentypence · 03/05/2007 01:16

Ds was only just 4 when my parents took him 300 miles away for a week. I didn't find much time to miss him and he had a brilliant time. He has severe allergies too - so it was nice to have a break from all the planning that that entails.

They are retired and I am a teacher - this is a way for ds to have extra holidays in term time, which will end all too soon as he starts school next year.

Califrau · 03/05/2007 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twentypence · 03/05/2007 02:11

I will let dh's parents have him over for the night now though - which is progress.

Marls001 · 03/05/2007 02:26

My answer would be yes - either set of grandparents.

I'm also surprised at the amount of No's.
I would feel like I was missing out on my relationship with DH. We go away alone somewhere for a week every year near the date of our anniversary.

DH & I are going to Jamaica on Sunday & on the way are dropping our 3.5 year old and 8-month-old DS's with my parents for 8 days.

Am I worried? Not at all.

They have legal documents listing medical information for each child and authorizing them to make decisions on our behalf, cc of birth certificates and immunization records, ans a complete schedule of when the boys eat/nap/sleep along with a list of DS1's fave foods.

My parents are sound of mind and body, and have planned some fun activities for DS1.

I certainly understand not wanting to leave children if grandparents are fragile or abusive.

But otherwise, why not???

It exposes them to different households and methods which I think inspires healthy flexibility in children. And, allows parents to find themselves and each other again - which seems very important. I know when I'm recharged every once in a while, I become a better parent.

zookeeper · 03/05/2007 05:26

Yes! she'll probably miss you less than you would think

ghosty · 03/05/2007 06:23

In theory, yes.

However, my mum is disabled and although I trust her completely I think she would be exhausted. I would worry more about her than my child IYSWIM?

DH's parents??? Oh, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

That's the sound of me laughing my head off at the mere suggestion
If they went with MIL they wouldn't eat as she doesn't buy food or cook for anyone.
If they went with FIL and Step Witch In Law they would be in serious trouble as FIL and his lovely wife are permanently pissed.

littlerach · 03/05/2007 07:12

Not sure if I would or not. They have stayed at ma parents overenight a few times.

My friend's dd has been on holiday with her MIL most years since she was 2, and loves it. She also cares for her in the hols and after school.

My SIL relies on her parents to provide childcare for her son. They wanted to come over here for a holiday (live in USA) but couldn't as SIL wouldn't have been able to work with no childcare. So they offered to bring our nephew here too. SIL would no way let them. Tricky one really.

Original poster

LandSmum · 03/05/2007 09:26

ghosty - your inlaws (including step witch in law) sound exactly like mine!! how uncanny!

OP posts:

oliveoil · 03/05/2007 09:29

I would miss them

PandaG · 03/05/2007 09:31

Yes, mine have regularly had my 2 for a week at a time since they were 3 and 1. Don't take them away though, just have them at their house which is a 3 hour drive form us and is at the seaside.

Blu · 03/05/2007 09:36

In your situation - i.e that the grandparents is already a second home, that they are fit healthy and trustworthy, yes, yes, yes, and if you don't send your dd can my DS go instead?

I went away with relatives at that age - for 10 days. 3 year olds understand that they will be going back...it will be fabulous for her to hb=ve undivided attention after the birth of a baby, you will enjoy the rest (as well as missing her) and she will have a very wonderful special time.

I would say yes - for the whole 10 days.

I took my part-time common-law stepdaughter on hol for 2 weeks when she was 3 - she did miss her Mum but not in a way that made her unhappy at all - we talked about it- just wanting to share happy times with her Mum.

edam · 03/05/2007 09:39

Yes, in your circs I would, I was staying at my gran's on my own at that age. Only thing that would worry me would be the going so far away...

Not a chance with my parents, my father far too dense about keeping an eye out to prevent accidents and my mother too irritable to cope with a 3yo for long periods on her own. And MIL too frail. So I'm very jealous!

oliveoil · 03/05/2007 09:40

would dd1 not think she was being sent away and baby was staying though?

and get jealous?

LilRedWG · 03/05/2007 09:44

Seeing as they have a fantastic relationship with her, I'd say yes. It'd be lovely for her to have some time without the baby around and get ALL the attention IMO.

Ask your DD if she'd like to go and see what she says.

geekgrrl · 03/05/2007 09:46

I would in your circumstances, sounds like they have a lovely relationship.

I went on holiday to Mallorca with my granddad when I was that age - I had a lovely time and adored my granddad so much that it would have never occured to me to miss my parents - but even more important in a way was the fact that it became just about his most treasured memory. Even 18 years later he'd still talk about it loads.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 03/05/2007 09:51

not abroad no. and nor would I feel comfortable going abroad and leaving my ds behind. Am happy leaving my ds with my parents overnight if we've been away, and might consider letting them take him somewhere in this country, but as a parent I feel that at this age I should be able to be there for ds if needed, eg if he were ill. And if he were in a different country to me I couldn't go and get him.

mumeeee · 03/05/2007 09:54

If you trust them and are happy for them to look after her. Then yes let them take her.

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