Getting out of the house for 9am

[BabyOrSanta]

This sounds like such a silly problem but I'm a bit worried and would like some ideas...

DD has her 8 week appointment on Wednesday at 9am and I'm not sure how we're going to get there timewise!

Normal routine:
5.30 DP gets up, gives her a bottle and changes her
7.00 DP goes to work sometimes she's settled (not good for this situation) sometimes she grumbles and stays awake (ideal, we'll both get up for the day then! But rarely happens)
9.00 DD and I get up, have a really good bf feed and cuddle on the sofa. Usually lasts around an hour, boob 1, rest, change, boob 2, rest. Even if she hasn't settled back down, she doesn't want a bf before then. Sometimes it gets to 9.30 before she wants a feed
She then has her nap for about half hour/an hour then it's into a routine of feed/change/nap for the rest of the day with me usually getting dressed around 12ish and her "getting dressed" when she wakes after that
She's quite Velcro at the moment and will only be put down when she's in a deeper sleep but not for long
She bfs during the day and my boobs are ready to feed her when she wakes!!! So I wouldn't want to wait to feed until after the appointment if I didn't have to
We've had latching troubles so I'm a bit nervous about feeding her at the doctors for a full feed
The doctors is around 20-25 minutes drive away in school traffic
I think that's all relevant info

So my question...
How would you attempt to move our routine around for Wednesday? I don't want her crying with hunger while at the doctors or have to do a full feed there as I think the doctor will judge and I also need her looking her best so they don't think I'm neglecting her! I also need to look okay so they don't think I'm neglecting me...

Any ideas?
This routine has been going about 2 weeks so I don't think it will change before Wednesday

Oh my fucking god how do you have the strength to worry about this shit?!

I have two kids up, dressed, breakfasted and ready to roll by 7 am 5 days a week!

Get yourself up at 7.00 Feed the baby again for half an hour while you have a cup,of tea and toast. Put baby down, have shower, get dressed. Throw baby in some clothes and change if necessary. Go to doctors. Feed baby at doctors if necessary. If you’re worried about latching take the opportunity to discuss it. If it’s embarrassment, ask to use a private room.
It does seem daunting initially but the advantage of breastfeeding is you have ever present feeds on tap, literally. You can just feed at your convenience and don’t need to wait until the right time.

Some of you posters have no empathy. Just because you can get multiple children up and out doesn’t help the OP. I struggled with my first DC at timings - most first-time parents do. And I didn’t suffer from anxiety.

Kindness costs nothing.

It is daunting with your first. Try a practice run to a relative’s in Monday if you can maybe? Also I found mine never wanted a full-on feed when out as even at 8 weeks they were too nosey, so they were happy to have a bit and then a full feed at home.
The only judging will be ‘oh great, still EBF at 8 weeks, that’s good’
I know it’s difficult but try and relax and honestly a minority of HCPs aren’t as proficient with their people skills as they should be, try not to take it personally. Fingers crossed you get a nice friendly nurse for the vaccinations- the ones we saw were thrilled to get a break from diabetic ulcers etc and loved the baby vaccine clinics

Feed best you can before you go, interrupt feed to get out the house. Feed in the car/doctors office before appt and interrupt when you have to go in. Then resume feed during appt/after in the doctors office/car.
It'll be fine OP. If she's crying for food it will only be a very short time and you will have plenty of opportunities to feed once you get to the doctors and park up.

Will she nod off in the car seat? She might fall asleep for the whole thing after all this worry! my ds would usually do that when I was in peak-anxiety mode.

You know what, you're right nosquirrels - sorry OP. It's hard I know.

I would skip the 5.30 bottle.
Breastfeed her when she wakes
Get yourself fed and dressed
Get the baby changed and dressed
Top up breastfeed just before you leave
Take a bottle with you if you are feeling nervous about public feeding.

You can do this! If she poos you can change her at the doctors. It will all be fine.

OP you sound like me after I had my first DC. And I really sympathise but looking back it was PND and I wish I had got more support.

I think you should mention to the nurse/GP about the obsessive thoughts you are having and not try to put a mask on.

Get yourself up and ready.

Get her last minute and feed her there. Whether it's a Bottle or breast just be prepared.

Don't wind yourself up worrying. Just get there on time and you'll realise you can adjust to what life throws at you. You can't be a space to the routine to the point you fall apart at little changes

*SLAVE even

@crackerjacket

OP I’d definitely have worried about this kind of thing with my Pfb DS (not as much as you are, but I’m not an anxious person at all). Bfeeding DS was a challenge and not something I ever did in public and it seems it’s the public feeding that is worrying you the most.

Do a quick feed before and after. I think you’ll be surprised how flexible DD can be. And once youve fed in public a few times and DD gets bigger and better at latching then you’ll wonder why you ever thought it was an issue. With my baby DD now she often gets fed when we arrive somewhere, usually still in her sleep suit. No one has ever commented.

Also I’m sure the doctors will let you sit in an empty room if you say you’re stressed about public feeding. Or sit in your car. But practice feeding in public, it’s very freeing once you get the hang of it

OP I think if you had put the information about the tongue tie and your anxiety in your first post you would have got different answers.

You can do this. Do a trial run if it makes you feel better. Things will likely be a lot easier in a few weeks when the feeding settles down. And enjoy your lovely baby.

You can do this. Your post massively reminds me of the early days with my first - I was so utterly knocked sideways by life with a baby and things which I now wouldn't even think about were just overwhelming.

I think you're trying to plan for every eventuality and to guarantee you avoid any possible pitfall and I really sympathise but that's just not possible. It would be horrible if she ends up having to cry in the car journey but sometimes that's unavoidable.

She really can wear whatever she wore to sleep in - all she needs done at home is a fresh nappy. Feeding routines really make no sense for a young bf baby (even if you stick to the pattern now, I promise it will change anyway in another week or two). I am angry about the HV telling you off about her feeding - that sounds incredibly unhelpful.

As others have said - looking back at my own overwhelmed early motherhood, it was all early signs of PND and I wish i had recognised this much earlier (DS was gone six months before the GP gently nudged me into understanding what was going on with me, and getting the right help - and I count myself hugely lucky she saw it).

Be gentle to yourself.

Ask the receptionist if they have a private room for feeding. I was given an empty nurse's room.

Bless you, I remember those days well. I promise you things get easier and less anxiety provoking! Try not to worry about what other people think, the doctor/nurse will have seen it all before. Mine turned up to his first set of jabs covered in puke (refluxy baby who always brought milk back up in the car) and with a pooey nappy that I ended up changing on the examination couch!

Have you seen babygrows with zips? Gap and mamas and papas do them, probably other places too. I hated poppers, particularly in the night.