Getting out of the house for 9am

[BabyOrSanta]

This sounds like such a silly problem but I'm a bit worried and would like some ideas...

DD has her 8 week appointment on Wednesday at 9am and I'm not sure how we're going to get there timewise!

Normal routine:
5.30 DP gets up, gives her a bottle and changes her
7.00 DP goes to work sometimes she's settled (not good for this situation) sometimes she grumbles and stays awake (ideal, we'll both get up for the day then! But rarely happens)
9.00 DD and I get up, have a really good bf feed and cuddle on the sofa. Usually lasts around an hour, boob 1, rest, change, boob 2, rest. Even if she hasn't settled back down, she doesn't want a bf before then. Sometimes it gets to 9.30 before she wants a feed
She then has her nap for about half hour/an hour then it's into a routine of feed/change/nap for the rest of the day with me usually getting dressed around 12ish and her "getting dressed" when she wakes after that
She's quite Velcro at the moment and will only be put down when she's in a deeper sleep but not for long
She bfs during the day and my boobs are ready to feed her when she wakes!!! So I wouldn't want to wait to feed until after the appointment if I didn't have to
We've had latching troubles so I'm a bit nervous about feeding her at the doctors for a full feed
The doctors is around 20-25 minutes drive away in school traffic
I think that's all relevant info

So my question...
How would you attempt to move our routine around for Wednesday? I don't want her crying with hunger while at the doctors or have to do a full feed there as I think the doctor will judge and I also need her looking her best so they don't think I'm neglecting her! I also need to look okay so they don't think I'm neglecting me...

Any ideas?
This routine has been going about 2 weeks so I don't think it will change before Wednesday

OP I know these early days are hard and confusing and overwhelming but please please please make sure you are OK also.
You are massively overthinking this, which in itself isn't terrible but it could be an indicator of PND or indeed post natal anxiety.

The doctor will not judge you and no one is going to think you are starving your baby.

The doctors will have a baby change so don’t worry. I have also done nappies on the bed in the drs room (with blue role down). It will be fine, no one will judge you if your baby cries, we’ve all been there.

I'd get up at 8, change, dress, go. I'm afraid she'd just have to be hungry for a bit if she needed feeding at this point.

If she normally feeds at nine I'd try to leave it until after the app but I'd feed her while in the waiting room if she got hungry (I'd also continue to feed while walking into the app and pop her off for jabs and straight back on, but maybe not possible with latch issues?).

Feed in waiting room straight after, this really helped to settle DD after jabs (prob just one boob), change if needed and then home, complete the feed at home if required.

I do have post natal anxiety and I know this is the majority of the problem (it was triggered by a health visitor so it's made me anxious of HCPs).

The reason for the dress and tights is because I have problems with press studs as I can't feel the tip of one finger and therefore look really strange when undoing them and doing them up! I am getting there though!

And we're working on the latch but it's only been since Monday when I saw a lactation consultant. She had her tt snipped two weeks ago so had got into really bad habits which my nipples are still recovering from! The good news is she's put on a very good amount of weight this week!

After the jabs I'm planning on putting her straight to my left breast as that's the better latch/least painful/least powerful let down.

And part of what the horrible HV said was, in part, that I wasn't feeding my baby properly so that's why I'm very anxious about not missing feeds.

And I don't mind if people stare at me (as long as they don't think I'm not feeding her!) as she is, of course, the most beautiful baby ever and deserves to be looked at (yes PFB moment! But we are in a very white town and she is mixed race so she gets people looking at her a lot)

I don't know if it's the same everywhere but whenever I've fed my DCs (I have 3) at the doctors they've generally asked if I'd like to go into an empty room for some privacy. I've never bothered but if it's something that would make life easier for you it could be worth asking if they have a quiet space for you.

Would going to a local baby group help, somewhere to feed in public but because it is with parents it’s a safe space? Also where you can talk about these struggles. When my daughter was tiny I needed nipple shields and I remember going to a group and struggling with baby in one hand, putting the shield on with the other, trying to be discreet and someone coming and asking if I needed her to hold the baby and telling me not to worry about flashing nipple if I need to, no one will care and it’s true that they didn’t. I’m now on my second baby and sometimes he unlatches without me noticing as I’m really tired and no one has ever commented unless I laugh about it.

We do go to 2 baby groups per week but I've never had to do a full, mammoth feed while out and I think that's what's worrying me. For that feed, she eats and eats whereas the rest of the day it's a 20 minute feed then a nap then a giggle then a feed.
When I've had to feed there, it's usually one of the snacky feeds where I don't end up in pain if her latch goes slightly off.
We're getting there with it but I just don't want to get completely overwhelmed and panicky

You might find that she has a snacky feed when out and saves the long feed for when you’re at home.

If I were you, I’d get up and get ready whilst your DP is still there, so you’re all ready to go. DP dresses baby in tights & dress once he’s changed nappy.

Then you’re both ready and dressed anyway - spare outfit on standby in case you need it last minute!

If she’s had a bottle at 5.30 and goes back to sleep, wake her at 7.45 and have a feed on one side before you get in the car at 8.15. Nice and full baby should drop off again in the car hopefully.

Get to doctors and decide then if there’s time to feed on the other side or wait.

I think we may do a test run to my DGM's...
Even when every feed was a longer feed, she used to wait until we were somewhere until she started getting upset. If I can make the mammoth feed wait until, say, 10 that would be great... just trying to persuade an 8 week old that brunch is better than breakfast.

While I'm thinking about it, the health visitor said to give the calpol before the jabs whereas another said give it after... should I just give it to her in the waiting room (while probably giving a snack)?

Or if she won’t take a full feed at 7.45 after a bottle, maybe feed in bed both sides at 5.30, then hand over to DP for nappy change and get yourself dressed, and save bottle for later.

Is there a reason for the bottle because it seems to be complicating things.

That sounds like a good idea NoSquirrels
I could get up with DP, let him do his thing.
Wave him off and have a nice leisurely breakfast (ha!)
Attempt to feed her on the right to make it comfortable.
Dance to the car to wind her (she hates giving up wind!)
Put her in and it should still be pre-breakfast time so I'll have leeway for her finishing her feed in the doctors and it'll be my left so it'll be much better but she will have eaten so hopefully little crying and she'll be okay

Thank you all for the good ideas!

Just get up and go. Give her another bottle instead of bf.

Oh ffs

It will get easier op. I'm glad to hear bf is going loads better now that she's had TT done. You'll be fine, babies are adaptable.

And offer her the breast after any jabs, it soothed my two perfectly after theirs. no need for calpol in my (non medical) opinion.

@Noluthando the medical advice now is to use calpol after the first set of jabs as they have added in the meningitis jab which often results in a high temp.

ok thanks ner

Shame you can't ask your DP to take the morning off and go as he sounds a lot better organised than you. Still I suppose the bf thing would be difficult. You could express some though.

You'll be fine whatever happens OP. Hope you're getting help with the anxiety

While you're at the doctors have you considered complaining about the HV who has got you in such a tizzy over a non issue? I'd have thought they'd want to know if one of there staff is speaking to new mums like that.

OP, you sound very anxious. Maybe while you are at the appointment tell the nurse how you are feeling. In the kindest way, I think you might need a little more support.

I am not judging you at all. I've been there 5x over and suffer from anxiety which has always been at its worst after I've had my babies.

If I were you I would try and mix things up a little at home. Offer the breast 15 minutes earlier than you usually would, then the next day a bit later. Maybe get up and get her ready while DP makes a cuppa for a change. I bet she is more flexible and adaptable than you realise and it will give you confidence that you can still be ok if things don't go quite to plan.

Other than that, make sure you have a change of clothes for the baby and maybe a clean t-shirt for you in case you leak milk. Leave in plenty of time so you can stop on the way if you need to. Nothing worse than the pressure of being late.

Even if “the worst “ happens a crying baby with a dirty nappy is an everyday occurrence for most medical practices I’d wager!
If it makes you feel any better my baby projectile vomited her oral vaccine all over the nurse and she scarcely batted an eyelid!