Exhausted, please don't judge...

[cds5163]

Has anyone slept while their baby is awake? Would that be wrong? I miss nap time with him during the day because I exclusively pump for him and by the time in done he's up. I try not to pump when he's awake because its hard to control him and try to play with him. I've fallen asleep on him accidentally and I woke up and he ended up falling asleep himself. I felt really bad about it but he was fine. He kind of a random napper and he sleeps how ever long he wants to. I'm just so exhausted and don't have energy. There must be something I can do, I feel like this is my last resort.

Is there a reason you don't bf? Sounds very tiresome your routine.

Oh darling
Don't beat yourself up. He's safe.

How old is your baby?

I would suggest napping when he does - does pumping allow you to interact at the same time? Why are you pumping so much?

Your body needs sleep! We all do what we can to survive the early days/months!

If you feel like you're falling asleep while he is awake, just make sure you are both in a position where it's safe to do so.

Do you have support?

How old is he? If he’s happy and somewhere safe and I’m assuming not yet mobile I can’t see the problem but wouldn’t he wake you up if he’s awake? Have you thought about switching to formula? I know there’s the guilt but it’s really absolutely fine.

How old is the baby?
Can you get someone round to get him latched on? Pumping isnt working.

What do you mean sleep whilst the baby is awake? What would the baby be doing?
Could you get a bra that allows you to pump hands free so you can pump when he's awake? That would free up nap time so you could nap?
Is the father around? Could he look after the baby for a while whilst you get some rest? My husband used to take the baby for a while if he woke up at 5am so I got a few hours before he went to work and I would often come for a rest as soon as he got home from work

If it’s hard to control him/play with him and pump at the same time, how would you control him and sleep?

Yes it is, he wont latch and gets really frustrated, he also prefers the flow of the nipple on the bottle. I would cry everyday because I just wanted him to eat. So that why I pump. He also refuses formula.

Sounds tough but are you suggesting leaving your baby unsupervised whilst you sleep? I’m full of sympathy for your exhaustion (been there myself) but I’m sorry you can’t do this. How old is baby? Is there anyone who could take baby for a walk whilst you napped?

I’m just a bit confused as to how you can’t pump while he’s awake as he’d need to be controlled/played with, but you would be able to sleep while he’s awake? It doesn’t sound like the best solution.
Have you got a partner who can help you to get some rest? How old is the baby?

Have you had any breastfeeding support to try to get that working? So much easier than pumping. For examples breast compressions can help to increase the flow. Has he been checked for tongue tie.
Also, can his father, some family, a friend, take him for a walk for a couple of hours so you can sleep? If you don’t have by local Support ask your health visitor about home start, they have volunteers who could sit with him for a couple of hours.

Why don't you pump whilst he's awake? I assume he's very little, sit him in his bouncy chair or lie on playmat on the floor and pump whilst cooing at him/bouncing him with your foot? Then when he sleeps you can nap. It wil probably help you express too. Also have you got a good pump?

Thanks for the replies. My son is almost 4months old. He doesn't roll yet, but trying to sit up. I think I waited to long and he won't accept my breast. I do have a hands free pumping bra and my pump is ameada, I've gotten use to it. I put my baby in my lap horizontally my son like to grab the cords or swat at the bottles and I have to adjust and its just not comfortable for the hour I have to pump. I give him things to play with but he just wants to be in my lap. I'm I've been pumping to build my supply back up because i froze a lot of milk but wasnt switching them out, I had to throw away a lot because they were old. No I don't live near any relatives, my boyfriend just got deployed. He takes our son when he gets home around 6pm but I have to take him back at 10pm because he has to sleep so he can be up at 4am. He's a quiet baby unless he needs something, he like his seat, his mobile and likes to watch tv. I thought maybe that could preoccupy him. I feel like a terrible mother, just thinking about it.I haven't checked for tongue tie, I dont know what that is. I also don't have a health visitor.

Could you put him in his seat watching the TV while you pump? Then nap when he’s napping.

Have you tried using nipple shields to help him latch on? Lifesaver for me!

I guess I'll just break up the time, 30 minutes let him watch tv, another 30 let him sit in the chair, I still feel like thats too long but its probably better than sleeping when he's up

No I never tried nipple shields, maybe I should try those at night, so I dont have to get up to pump and make bottles, thank you for the replies.

Sounds like you're having a tough time. I'm worried about your lack of support...
Are you close to your family? Could you go and stay with your mum for a week or so? Just to get some help while you catch up on rest a bit? As pp said, I would really consider formula too. I know you said he refuses it, but perhaps try persevering with it?
Hugs x

You simply cannot sleep and leave such a young baby unsupervised. Contact local Gp and ask to be put in touch with a HV. Are there any breastfeeding groups near you who can help with pumping/feeding support?

I second the nipple shields - I found them a lifesaver. Is there a local teenager that you could throw a fiver at and they play with the baby while you sleep?

I'd also recommend nipple shields. My Ds wouldn't latch in hospital and I came home using them. I phased them out over two weeks and managed to get him to b/f normally. It's a far easier latch so babies don't have to work so hard.

This really isn't sustainable. You're exhausted and pumping for an hour. Can anyone watch the baby or would you try a different formula. Something needs to change.

Medela nipple shields, best thing ever xxx

Blimey, no wonder you're knackered!
Seconding, thirding and fourthing (if necessary!) giving nipple shields a go.
If it doesn't work, you've tried, but if it does, it would be a massive plus.

Breast milk is fine frozen for up to 6 months, there's no need for you to throw any out for being old when baby is only 4 months.

And to add, looking on the upside, even if you have baby on the boob for a whole hour instead of pumping, you at least don't have a feed to follow.
Good luck.