Please reassure me that I not the only parent out there who is not fixated with getting a baby in a routine?

[alex8]

Am not against routines at all and I do do bedtime ones but I would just like sometimes to meet people who aren't stressed that their 3 wk old babies aren't in one. It must be great if helps you and I don't want to get into a row about whether they are good or not. I did stress about it with my first child and when I gave up it was a huge relief. Sometimes I think I am the only one who doesn't have a daytime one.

I dont stress about routines at all

My dc were never in a strict routine, except for bedtime, as I'd never be able to stick to one.

Didn't concern me at all. In fact, it made my life very flexible.

do bedtime routine but don't think it's important til the end of the first year.

nothing else has routine, ds is asleep in my arms now because that's where he wants to sleep. sometimes he wants to sleep early on in his cot, sometimes later on top of me. as long as he's happy i don't see the point in stressing tbh

he also eats when he's hungry, not by the clock as i think it's healthier

No, i don't . I follow my baby's lead , did the same thing with dd as well.

But strangley enough, I have found that my life with the children has fallen into some sort of routine, without me trying.

I've never stressed about routines. my girls found their owna d I went with the flow. If they wanted to sleep then I let them. Then they fell into their own routines and I went with it and now at 15 months old DD1 is still doing the same thing. I let her skip her afternoon nap if she looks like she's ok but if she starts to fall over with tiredness I put her up for a nap.

I'm quite strict on a bedtime for DD2 as she's at reception now and i need my evenings!

I do lunch and tea around the same time each weekend just cos it'se asy to and they get hungry at those times!

its nice to know am not alone! I just keep getting gasps of shock when I say am not even trying.

I read a few books and then reality kicked in. I threw them out of the window. Just bedtime routine is important. I was stressed when it wasn't working, it wasn't me or my baby at fault it's just was not condusive. It's such a short time that they're like that too.

All my friends were banging on about it too. Routine then changes to 'structure'. I feel positively lapsidaisical in comparison.

oh god no
I like the baby whisperer in small amounts but not routine oh no
I do try to keep bedtime low key, dark and the same but usually fail.
ds is 5 wks and feeds anytime between every 5 hrs or every 45 mins depending.
Try telling him otherwise I say

Ds doesn't have a routine. Had great plans for getting him into a routine before he arrived, then thought I am on maternity leave to look after my baby so I should be fitting in with him, rather than the other way around. The best thing was when I read an NCT book - can't remember the title - and they made the point that what works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another and not to sweat it if your baby doesn't go to bed for the night at 19h. Most true and liberating thing I read in the first few months...

I only insist on a routine at bedtime becasue I've learnt that it is the best way to get him off to sleep stresslessly (?) but he is 16 months not 3 weeks!

I think you can become slaves to routines and end up with children who find it difficult to cope with anything out of the normal timetable.

exactly zookeeper.

one of the moms at toddler group has to leave early every week even if she's chatting to people as her ds goes beserk if lunch isn't at 12 on the dot. she's so stuck in this routine she has no real freedom

And what happens when you suddenly want to go somewhere and its their lunchtime nap time?? Have a couple of friends asking if DD, 19 weeks, has a lunchtime nap yet. No, she naps when she's tired and that can be any of time of day and I'm on mat leave so don't have to be anywhere at any set time so it doesn't really matter.

I didn't start bedtime one until about 3 months

We don't do routines in this house. Everyone gets up, goes to work/childminder/slobs around as appropriate, comes home, eats and goes to bed. Children go to bed before adults (although I fell asleep before DD yesterday ).

it does start to become a bit of a chore though when they dont have a routine as you can;t plan anything ahead still thats less important when they're really small and should (theoretically) nap anywhere

It's gone all kaput now at 2yrs

yes PT I've come across loads of mums like that which is what made me and DP decide not to be that way.

That said, its all flexible and easygoig until 7pm but if they're all not into bed then then I would go into meltdown Even then we have never had the bath book bed thing.

Only routine that's important is bedtime. I try to make sure that DS has 2 naps a day as he would go into meltdown at bedtime, but when/how long depends on what we're doing that day (he's just coming up to 9 months). I'd hate to be confined to the house whilst he takes his regulation naps in a darkened room. Also rigid mealtimes are a bit odd - I mean I don't eat at the same time every day, so why should he?

such pressure from everyone at the start! all i heard was "you've got to get her into a good routine", "start off as you meen to go on", "is she in a routine yet?" (at two weeks old!) At six weeks i was worried that i was being rubbish, feeling down and posted for advice on mn. of course the advice was the best! i have given up panicing about a bloody routine and instantly relaxed. now, at 12 weeks, dd has sorted herself out and sleeps ok, but i don't think anything of it if she decides she wants to have an extra feed or 3 during the night!

I had 3 under 2-and-a-half and never had a routine. Didn't have time to organise one, let alone stick to one. I call it 'muddling through'

lol, we're the same here... anything foes during the day but if there's a child awake after 7.30 i start to seeth and foam at the mouth.

bedtime routine is a whole seperate issue imo!