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Dummy's for or against?

54 replies

guest477337 · 12/01/2018 21:24

We didn't want to give our DS a dummy but he's been crying so much tonight due to tummy ache, he's 7 weeks old and we've given in and given him a dummy. He straight away drifted off so I'm happy.

He's seems to have a bad tummy sometimes. But only for a few hours then it goes.

However, I know people are for and against them. Can people tell me why and if you are or not? I don't know anything about them so I honestly don't know why some people like them and some don't.

My DP was against it cause apparently it gives them bad teeth hit I've had to overrule I'm afraid and given him one.

OP posts:
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DrWhy · 13/01/2018 23:28

I wish I’d been able to persuade mine to take one, I was a thumb sucker and it made a mess of my teeth - my parents were still trying to get me to stop at 12. I was firmly in the camp that you can take away a dummy but you can’t take away a thumb. Unfortunately DS had other ideas, spat out every dummy offered and at 4 months found his thumb. He sucks his thumb to go to sleep but not when he’s awake but if we can’t stop him fairly early I’m still worried about the harm it will do. Try a dummy! In fact, try lots!

Slanetylor · 13/01/2018 23:34

Dead against them too. An awful habit to break and I thought they could be unhygienic. No matter, I had little say in it. My first cried non stop so I gave in eventually and had to use one when in the car so that I could drive without being distracted. I had a night time and car only rule. A silly first time mom making my life hard for no reason. The second had one in the hospital and loved it for 2 solid years.

Frazzled2207 · 13/01/2018 23:37

In your situation I'd give it a bash. Neither of mine took to it, they didn't thumb suck either. They were also terrible sleepers until they were about 2Confused

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BackforGood · 13/01/2018 23:43

Feel very positive towards them as a comfort (as babies) and sleep aid.

Very negative to see toddlers and even children heading towards school age walking around with them. That is where the speech issues come in, not when a newborn is trying to settle to sleep.

BertieBotts · 13/01/2018 23:43

It's just snobbishness that makes people dislike them! They can affect speech development if DC are allowed to walk around with it all day when they are learning to speak, but that's a fairly easy habit to not have if you make the rule that they only have it in bed/in the pushchair/car etc.

Don't worry about teeth - you can take a dummy away, you can't take a thumb away.

BertieBotts · 13/01/2018 23:46

FWIW they have taken it out of the SIDS recommendations now. So I wouldn't let that influence you.

guest477337 · 14/01/2018 00:07

Thank you for all the advice everyone. He seems to have taken to it, it does drop out often and I've only given it him when crying and I know he's not cold/wet/hungry/wants holding basically go through everything before giving it him.

When it has dropped out he's gone to suck his fingers so I've then given the dummy to him as I really don't want him sucking his thumb like I did.

Hopefully we'll have no issues but I really appreciate everyone's comments and experiences so thank you x

OP posts:
iggleypiggly · 14/01/2018 00:21

I personally think they are awful. They are a quietening tool for parents. The many health professionals I’ve had experience with agree, they can delay speech as with thumb suckers they remove their thumb to talk yet dummy’s can be left in and spoken through. I personally wouldn’t want to suck on s piece of plastic so neither of my dc did either Smile

Heartofglass12345 · 14/01/2018 00:51

I didnt want to give my boys one, but i tried a couple of times when they were both really hard to settle. My oldest used to spit it out once he realised it wasnt a bottle lol. My youngest had one, and i only used to give it to him if he was like you said your little boy was. He probably didnt even use it every day, and eventually stopped using it at a few months old. Its up to you though, you can always take it away when you feel like its time to give it up x

sycamore54321 · 14/01/2018 07:07

"They are a quietening tool for parents"

Exactly as I predicted.

Why do you think they quieten a baby? Surely that only works if the baby is deriving comfort or having a need met by the dummy. So they are therefore a tool for the baby, not the parent.

I can't understand saying you wouldn't want to use one, therefore your babies don't. I wouldn't want to use nappies or onesies or swaddle blankets myself.

pastabest · 14/01/2018 07:22

That's odd heart as every health professional I've spoken yo about it has said that they are now supposed to be rcommending them due to the SIDS reductuon factor.

iggleypiggly · 14/01/2018 10:39

pasta can you provide those links then please? Is it from WHO? NHS? NICE?

pastabest · 14/01/2018 11:09

Well no I can't provide links for being verbally told by health visitor/ midwife etc that dummies may reduce SIDS

I can however google and as such

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/dummies-and-sids/

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD011147.pub2/abstract;jsessionid=0FB62317259F61BA8B364A0F093A7D68.f04t02

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg37/evidence/review-decision-2013-pdf-546208237

happymummy12345 · 14/01/2018 11:43

Personally I hate them. I'd never ever give any child of mine one. I think they look horrible and are unnecessary.

Johnnycomelately1 · 14/01/2018 11:48

Ds had one for naps and bedtime only from birth till he was 3. Then we went cold turkey. I don't agree that they're a "quietening tool". If the baby is unhappy due to being hungry/wet etc then they're not going to stop crying because they have a dummy. I just found it helped them calm down/ self-soothe etc.

DD didn't take to it but still is a massive thumb sucker at 5 and is almost certainly going to need braces so I wish she'd taken to the dummy tbh.

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2018 11:55

I have 3 dc including twins (identical). Dd1 never sucked anything but at 10 is being referred to the orthodontist as teeth and jaw are not aligned. Of the twins dtd1 sucks fingers but teeth are not at bad as non sucker dd1. Dtd2 had a dummy (never when speaking which I think is important). Her teeth are amazingly straight and gave me an instant way to comfort her. Do what work ms for you op.

icantdothis2017 · 14/01/2018 12:09

Dd Had one from 6 ish weeks.
Gave up at 21 months when she started to chew the teats off

It saved my sanity tbh

SprinkleOfInsanity · 14/01/2018 12:39

Not against dummies, they are fantastic if used at the appropriate times and not as a permanent fixture in a kids mouth.

R.e the tummy issues, we have similar and have found that it is gas built up through the day that baby struggles to get out at night. What we've found has helped is raising the end of the cot slightly so that baby is propped up slightly, and a dose of infacol before every feed, it has made the world of difference to our colicky baby Smile

WildCherryBlossom · 14/01/2018 12:48

One of mine spent time in neonatal care and was given one there. DH was appalled and we scrapped the dummy as soon as we brought the baby home. That child (school age) is now an avid finger sucker, which is far harder to stop as you can't confiscate fingers. The dentist has noticed the effects of the finger sucking too.

I'm not a massive fan of dummies, but if it works for you then go with it.

Slanetylor · 14/01/2018 18:13

I also think they look horrible and are unnecessary and would have gone to the grave with that opinion until I had a child that made them necessary. But that's parenting for you. I have other stubborn opinions I'm sure, that remain, only because my children randomly fitted into my ideas.

Redken24 · 14/01/2018 18:22

Interesting views.
Im the only kid in my family who didn't have a dummy. And I have the worst teeth. 😂

BackforGood · 14/01/2018 19:22

I personally wouldn’t want to suck on a piece of plastic so neither of my dc did either

Personally I wouldn't want to just live on milk
Personally I wouldn't want to wear a nappy

Bit of a daft argument really Hmm

Lemondrop99 · 15/01/2018 22:24

Happy enough with my 3.5 month old DS having one.....until we unswaddled him last week and now we're stuck in a cycle of him pulling the dummy out then being frustrated that he doesn't have his dummy anymore!! Driving me stir crazy. I actually lobbed the dummy across the room in frustration earlier when my DS went into full meltdown mode when trying to settle for his nap but having pulled his dummy out for the sixth time 😖 So now I have a love/hate relationship with the damned thing...

buffysummers4 · 16/01/2018 17:05

I wish I'd managed to persuade mine to take a dummy as I'm currently spending hours every evening in a darkened room acting as a human dummy to get him to sleep.... I went through the same with my first but both of them totally refused to take to a dummy. I should have tried them both a bit younger than I did but I was hesitant with my first due to weight gain issues and my second was very contented as a newborn so I didn't think to use one.

So yes I'd definitely go for it, just make sure to keep it for bedtime as they get a bit more awake and interactive.

buffysummers4 · 16/01/2018 17:08

Oooh alwaysaspiring - just seen that yours took one for the first time at 6 months during teething! I just assumed it was too late to try again but this has given me some hope :) We are definitely in the midst of teething at 5 months.
Hmm, where did I put that box of dummies?

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