The lies we tell our children - light hearted!

[MidiMitch]

I am shocked at the amount of genuine bare faced lying I do with my DS (5yr old). For example, every single night, without fail, Mummy's boss 'calls' her and says that DS needs to go to bed as Mummy has to come back into work as she's been naughty and not worked hard enough. (A necessary lie to ensure that I am able to leave the bedroom after story time as DS always wants me to sleep with him). DS genuinely hates my boss to the extent that if he ever meets him I dread what he'd say. On the upside, he thinks of me as more of a noble warrior fighting against the man.

Any lies you tell DCs or am I the only one?

It's illegal to have the interior light on in the car while I'm driving.
Just not quite sure where in the Highway Code it says that.

I thought it was illegal to have the interior light of a car on when driving! I believed my parents!

I don’t lie to my kids - however ‘funny/light hearted’ you may think it is - they won’t trust you as they get older and even when younger their trust is eroded in you.

Oh shut up Rainbows

Sooo.. no santa in your house rainbow

The letters to and from tooth fairies in this house have escalated to all different sorts of fairies... 7yo DD was even writing letters to a mouse for a while (and getting replies!) One day the penny will drop!

Oh and I tell 9yo DD it’s against
The law for under 13s to have Facebook or Instagram!

That hotel chocolat don't sell chocolate that children are allowed to eat 😂

All of the £1 ride on toys at the shopping centre were broken

After story time I could hear the baby crying for milk so I have to leave

That the hazard warning light in the car was an ejector button for naughty dc!!
Ds told me last year that they had all really believed me when they were little!!

My dc may have been told that my poo is pink. Apart from at the weekend when it's rainbow-coloured.

It is illegal to have the interior light on isn't it?'

Loner - actually there isn’t! I said it’s just pretend and then we all got into it just the same because kids don’t care if a game is real or pretend

Fig - I am totally using that!

Oh bloody nora Rainbows! I genuinely thought my parents were going to 'see a man about a dog'. I can guarantee you I had a wonderful childhood and am a totally well-adjusted adult!

My dad always told us that chicken drumsticks grew on chicken drumstick trees, and that people in Australia lived upside down.

My mum always told us that we shouldn’t drink from the garden hose because slugs live up it and would get washed into your mouth.

Also we were not to drink (there’s a theme here!) from the taps in the bathroom (particularly the hot tap) because the pipes are made of lead and the water is poisonous (in our 1970’s built house!) I think the idea was that hot water dissolved the lead quicker...

The TV isn't working, I have no money on me, I don't know how that (insert annoying thing here) works and so on. I don't think it breaks the trust - my 10 year old is never going to remember me saying these things and even if he does he's not going to realise I was lying.

My DD1 has a little bit of hair at the front that sticks up. I used to tell her that when she was a baby and still in hospital a cow walked on to the ward and licked her forehead and that is why it was called a cowlick. Now aged 16 she looks at me like 🤨 and 🙄 if I say it

My dad was fantastic at these. My fave is The Baby Exchange on the high st where parents could take naughty children.

My nana used to tell us angels made babies and when they were done they would press your tummy and say “that ones finished!” And that’s how belly buttons were made.

I have also told dp’s ds I don’t know how baby’s get out of tummies because I haven’t had this one yet...

That parents have to taste the sweets first to make sure they are not poisonous

@WhenTheDragonsCame that's hilarious!

I told my 3 yr old that the gorgeous chocolate filled croissant from Tesco this morning was fill with mince. She said yuck and walked off.

Daddy likes to tickle mummy at night - it's a game we play (after dd aged 9 walked in on us having sex at 2am!) luckily she was sleepy and totally bought it although I'm pretty sure she's told her class 😳

Oh I also 'call the doctor' most nights to check and see if they're allowed medicine. The dr says no.