The lies we tell our children - light hearted!

[MidiMitch]

I am shocked at the amount of genuine bare faced lying I do with my DS (5yr old). For example, every single night, without fail, Mummy's boss 'calls' her and says that DS needs to go to bed as Mummy has to come back into work as she's been naughty and not worked hard enough. (A necessary lie to ensure that I am able to leave the bedroom after story time as DS always wants me to sleep with him). DS genuinely hates my boss to the extent that if he ever meets him I dread what he'd say. On the upside, he thinks of me as more of a noble warrior fighting against the man.

Any lies you tell DCs or am I the only one?

And many sweets have alcohol in them.

My dc also think I'm pretty thick as I regularly say "oh I'm not sure/don't know" and batteries often are run out and only daddy knows how to charge them. They've stopped buying that one as I'm the practical one (dh is creative).

My ds1 started to spot on the floor when he was out, he said he wanted it out of his mouth but didn't want to swallow it.
Me and DM tried everything, then on the first day of holiday on the east coast, I suddenly told him if he spit on the floor we would be fined a lot of money and asked to leave town.
Worked brilliantly.

DS believed he didn't like Crunchies and that Mummy very kindly ate the Crunchies out of his selection boxes. Got away with it 'til he was about 7 I think.

I believed that stroking a cat's fur the wrong way hurt them. Apparently what Mum meant was that she got hurt brushing our long-haired cat after I'd finished! (PaddyCat wasn't overly keen on being brushed.) I still believed it 'til I was about 28 - the penny dropped when I was brushing my own cat 😸.

I didn't have a traumatic childhood and I still trust my mum!

Meandmytinfoilhat she used to believe me when she was little

I also remember eating chocolate in the car when DD2 was little. The conversation went a bit like this.

DD2 "mummy what are you eating?"
Me "umm, it's an apple"
DD2 "I don't like apples"
Me "that's a shame"
Also me 😁🍫

Yes, Mr Trump is a very silly man, but he has lots of very sensible men and women helping him, so he isn't going to do anything bad. There's nothing to worry about.....

The food I don't want to share becomes 'spicy'

DD accused me of lying when a discussing about Trump meandered into Ronald Regan and the fact that he had been a Hollywood actor.....she refused point blank to beleive me even though I should her the wiki page about his acting on my phone

Apparently I have form for fibbing........

I thought it was illegal to have the interior light of a car on when driving! I believed my parents!

Are you my sister lol so did I!

The park keeper shuts the park when it's raining, going dark, too cold....

I also need to taste every sweet or crisp just to check it's ok before they have the packet.

Whenever the ice cream van is playing it's music, it means its run out of ice cream

I am naturally a very truthful person but am beginning to see the power of lying to small children and may never look back :)

On a rubbish day when we'd been stuck in for days and I was tearing my hair out with stroppy boisterous 3 year old and small baby I told 3 year old that the 'magic cream' (squirty cream) wouldn't work if he watched it and would only work if he sat quietly and waited on the sofa.
This gave me several minutes of actual peace and quiet in the kitchen while I very very slowly made him some warm milk with squirty cream, instead of 'Mummy, Mummy' every 5 seconds.

I also told him that the postman had delivered an unwrapped handmade iced cake with candles at 5pm on a Saturday coincidentally at the same time as I arrived home. (This was so that I didn't have to tell him I'd taken his baby brother to see someone he would have really wanted to see too).

PS motherofdragons - daddy is in charge of batteries in our house too :)

When me and my sister were little we used to argue a lot and blame each other for various breakages / spillages etc. My mum invented 'lying cream' which was just a tube of germaline!
She said that she would put a dot in the centre of our forheads and whover was lying would develop a big red boil and it would be there for life so everyone would always know you had lied.
It literally never got to the point of her applying the cream! She would come at us with it and we'd fess up!
I think its genius to be honest, I have a great relationship with my mum and always have. We were mostly very honest children :-)

My mum invented 'lying cream' which was just a tube of germaline!

When DS1 & 2 we’re small we told them lying made their tongues go blue. ‘Open your mouth’ when they were being shifty worked every. single. time. They’re 11 & 10 now and well wise to it but it was fun while it lasted.

I tell my son that a spider pooed on the chocolate bar (only if it's the last one and I really want it!) and if he eats it a spider tree will grow in his belly.

The tooth fairy and Santa only deliver to tidy bedrooms

I used to tell my eldest that Kit Kat chunkys were made of onions and tuna (2 things he refused to eat🙈) my mum exposed my lie and he’s loved Kit Kat chunkys ever since😂