I don't want to be home alone with my baby

[KimchiLaLa]

I love my baby but I don't really want to be home alone with her. I don't feel like I can't cope with her - although the feeding/napping is monotonous - it's more the feeling of being bored and wanting someone else to be there. I just feel a bit low when I am just at home alone. I do also feel like after I've had a break, I appreciate her more.

I dread the 5-6 pm period not as she is fussy but because I know the evening and the night feeds are coming, and love Fridays even more as DH can then help with the late nights. For example, tomorrow I have no plans with friends so I'm going to my mum's so I'm not alone at home with her and I get to be around my family & take a break.

Is this normal? Or does it sound like a mild form of PND?

During my maternity leave I only spent one full day at home on my own. I didn't have pnd, just don't like staying in and never have.

I would go for walks, take the bus somewhere for a change from driving, go for a coffee, swimming, baby massage, meet up anyone and everyone.

It gets easier as they get bigger and interact and play more.

Try and get a few hours to yourself in an evening or at a weekend to recharge a bit.

It's normal and I remember feeling like that. I used to have a weekly plan of stuff that was going on and the library as a back up + a list of various parks/activities, and names of friends/family I had that with all the baby foggyness I forgot about. I didn't do all the stuff on the list regularly but it helped to have a back up plan iyswum.

I think this is normal. Well I felt like this too. It definitely gets easier when they are a bit older and start to interact with you more so you get the feedback and play properly.

I went out at least once a day, even if it was just a walk to the supermarket, or to town. You don't have to buy anything. The library is good - they had baby singing sessions. Or a walk in the park. Baby weighing sessions - you'll meet people there.

Evenings were the worst for me as well. That's when I'd resort to putting the TV on.

I couldn't wait to get back to work - 3 days a week away meant I appreciated her more on my days off.

My baby was 6.2 pounds when she was born. She didn't start to sleep through night until 3 months old (or how the internet told me when she reached ripe weight of 5kg /11 pounds).

One thing I would like to highlight here is that baby will eat as much it needs, so do not stress out that she is starving. My HV scared the living daylights out of me saying that she should be getting 4 ounces at this stage. I was feeding her for hours and crying, feeling like the worst mother in the universe.

Before DD reached 3 months, I would sleep about 3 h in total and was so miserable. It would be 1h feeding, 45 min trying to burp her, 30 min trying to put her to cot and then 30 min max sleep for me and another feeding.

She still would wake up through the night, after 3 months, from time to time, because regression/teething/cold/just fancy waking me up. And lets not forget the 2 months sleep regression....

My DH family was made of miraculous babies that always slept through the night. Until I started to listen carefully and lots of them didn't count feeds as waking up in the night. Some of them would only count whole night as 4 hours and some of them were really, really lucky and I went through period of hating their guts

There are loads of groups you can do, baby massage, baby yoga, singing stupid songs with baby, exercise classes with baby in tow, baby cinema. I went to something every day. Or the things you won’t be able to do for a decade, art galleries, National trust properties etc? Your baby is perfect sling size and it sounds like a whole carton of ready prep would last a day so very little to carry!

MIne slept through at 15minths, 18months and 5 years, I get worse at this bit it seems!

I was EXACTLY the same as you. You've described me to a T! She's now 11.5 months and id say it didn't really change until about 9 months when she started crawling and could amuse herself with toys happily at home.

DD1 slept through at 3.5 years, DD2 at 15 months. At least we went in the right direction

You are normal; it is so boring and really hard work being alone with a baby. I started having radio 4 on all the time & got into woman's hour, the life scientific, desert island discs etc. It really helped me & kept my brain going also gave me something to talk about when i did meet another adult.

I was the same. I hated being alone. It was boring and I felt so much pressure, knowing you have no backup can make me feel less capable too. I still much prefer having DH here, but now DC's older I can enjoy spending time just the two of us.

Regarding the sleep thing, my baby didn't sleep for more than two hours until 9 months old (and teeth were in). Then, over a few weeks, it went to all night. 9pm-7am usually, without waking.

Sometimes it happens to the most unlikely babies!

Normal

I remember this and would go for walks to the park for something to do. With DC2 was out and about more quickly and had more friends, which helped.

Are you bfeeding? If not suggest your H shares the night feeds several nights a week. Sleep might help everything feel better.

I was exactly the same. I would plan something every day and take advantage of baby groups. It is a boring and monotonous time but they do get much more fun so it's not for long.

Totally normal tbh.

Get out every day, if you can twice. Even if you just walk to a shop and back it gives the day a focus.

Get to groups now so you have support when they are closed.

Get headphones and BBC iplayer radio. Find something you like listening to and walk!