Holiday with a new born

[Amimac]

I'm after some advice about taking a new born abroad.

I'm due in May 2018 and my husband and I have booked to go to my sisters wedding in Majorca in June.
If I go overdue, baby will only be 10days old when we are due to fly. Anybody got any advice about potentially taking a newborn away, I just don't want to miss my sisters wedding! Is it possible or am I being foolish holding on to hope?

Thanks for all the input... I’m pleased to hear from those who have travelled with such new baby’s that it is not totally impossible and I’m not mental for thinking about it. At least I will have lots of family support out there as most of the family will be there. My sister completely understands that I may not make it but I’d rather be there not looking/feeling my best than missing out completely. Fingers crossed 🤞

Anything is possible if you put your mind to it passport/birth certificate/great birth experience aside. You would just need to factor in that most newborns don't sleep very well at all and you'll be knackered and extremely hormonal, I cried over most things for weeks afterwards. If you're bottle feeding you'll need to make sure you have all the equipment, they go through loads of nappies, clothes daily from sick and poo explosions. You'll still be bleeding, possibly quite heavily, the kind that leaks through pads/clothes I'm not sure you can use tampons during recovery (I could be wrong, I never did though) I probably wouldn't go swimming, if you've had a c-section you can't away. Newborns immunity wears off after their born, planes are filthy germ infested places with people coughing and sneezing, the whole family caught a stinking cold on the way to Spain this year. Mosquitoes - I got eaten alive in Majorca by these nasty black and white Asian Mosquitoes, you can't use insect repellents on newborns either and they carry diseases your baby has no immunity to. Personally I didn't leave the house in the first couple of weeks, I lived in my PJ's, ate cake and watched GoT boxsets and tried to sleep/stay awake....you would be very brave (slightly bonkers) to go to Majorca 10 days after giving birth, my belly looked like a deflated wobbly jelly balloon, I had huge leaky boobs, I didn't know if I'd brushed my teeth or washed my hair or what day it was....ah good times!

I bled for about eight weeks! Not heavily for all that time but it was still there

Unless you are the most chilled out person on the planet, I think it’s a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on yourself with a new baby. And it’s going to put huge additional pressure on the weeks leading up to the birth, add extra stress to the post natal period. You just don’t need that when you’ve just had a baby. You don’t want to be worrying about whether passports will arrive. You don’t want to be sat there, a week before you’re due to fly, thinking ‘I can barely struggle my way to the toilet- how the fuck am I going to manage a plane.’ You want to have as little pressure and stress as possible while you figure out parenthood. And you’re probably going to want to do that in the comfort of your own home.

I wouldn't no.

You must only be in your first trimester. I had all sorts of problems during pregnancy, which left me exhausted post partum even though Labour wasn't too bad.

No way would I have done this.

Also as pp have said getting a birth certificate let alone a passport could be difficult

I wouldn’t because the baby would not have their vaccinations yet.

That is also a very good point.

I wouldnt go with such a young baby. I was on a massive rollercoaster of emotions for a while. Sleepless nights were tougher than i anticipated. Even though your whole family will be there, baby will want you, my partner felt helpless for some time. Everyones situation and how they feel is different, so you wont know until you have your baby. I found early days extremely hard and plane journey/wedding would have been extremely stressful for me.

I am going to be the voice of dissent ... just go for it, but be ready to roll with the punches, the baby will be dictating the schedule, and things of course may not go to plan, so be prepared to have to cancel last minute (e.g. if baby is not well) but I think a lot of the hurdles around this stuff are more perceived than real.

Check your travel insurance and whether your airline will let you travel. Plus look up the closest hospital to where you're staying, just in case. Take a large amount of maternity pads, bra pads, big knickers & a v v supportive husband :-). You can always make emergency purchases over there should you find you need something (and the wedding guests will probably go above and beyond to accommodate you and baby).

I had two CS (one EMCS and one ELCS), recovery from the first was slow but I still could have flown, taking it easy with walking and no carrying heavy stuff. The ELCS recovery was amazingly quick.

Key I think is to go slow and not take on any unneeded stress.

Honestly I would have a very very low threshold for pulling out, and I say that as someone who had a straightforward birth, a healthy baby and who breastfeeding went fine for. I flew with my baby at 6wo and was up, about and fine at 2wks pp albeit tired.

To make this not-awful, you really need to have all of the following in place:

• straightforward, not-late birth and recovery
• healthy baby
• breastfeeding going fine, if bf
• bleeding already tapering off and not being exacerbated by movement
• able to get birth certificate very quickly
• feeling OK emotionally.

That's a lot of ifs.

My sister had a c-section with her second baby, two weeks later, she drove everyone to Glasgow and stayed in caravan for the commonwealth games. If you feel up to it, go for it. If you’ve got family support then you should be ok. As long as you get all your docs in time. Maybe try and make appointments before baby is born, for the week or so before you fly, if they let you. If little one arrives a bit early you’ll be gutted if you miss it.

Will pm you - I know it’s probably possible but not a good idea for baby’s sake.

Putting the birth, feeding, bleeding, leaking, infections etc to one side ... I wouldn't be willing to expose such a young a baby to all the bugs etc, especially without vaccinations.

I totally understand you don't want to miss the wedding but sometimes you just have to miss out things, especially when you become a parent!

I went on holiday when my third was three weeks old. If you have the sort of family who will essentially wait on you and just let you be with baby, it can work well. My holiday was a ferry trip not plane, though. To balance that, we had two other children to deal with. It was always going to be hard work, wherever we were at the time and I’m pretty sure I got more rest, partly because my other kids were occupied. But at 3 1/2 weeks old with my other two, dh was back to work and I was managing on my own.
It very much depends on your delivery, but even with my first, I was comfortable enough physically by two weeks to be able to get out and about.
It’s only the being out of the country that would slightly worry me. I had found out where the local gp was where we were going and I’d want to know what the set up would be. But don’t rule it out if your partner and family are hands on and helpful.

I know people who gave. Talk to the airline. You can get appointment to do one day passport applications. Not sure why people assume you will def be sure to sit down 10 days after. I was out and about on day 3 (1 and 2 being in hospital. Walked half mile to doctors. By end of 1st week I was fine. Worst case you'll be sore, best case you'll be fine. Tbh newborn eat and sleep. Apart from dort out pram, cot and then it comes to boob or bottle for other issues. I went on holidays first 2 years with cloth nappies and still survived to tell tale. We used cloth tight from day 1 in hospital, but if you don't want faff(or already intend to use disposables) pack a preferred brand or make sure you can get nappies, creams etc over there.

I thought the day passport was for adult and children renewals, not new passports.

You never know how you’ll feel after the birth, you could be feeling absolutely fine.

Can you book nearer the time? Once the babies here so you can see how you’re feeling?

I wouldn't assume that you will feel awful, I've had 3 children. 1st DC I was back at work full time by the time he was 4 weeks old and I'd had a c-section and a big PPH. 2nd DC was born vaginally at 3am in the morning. I was home by 7.30am and did the afternoon school run which was a half mile walk each way. 3rd DC was another crash section and I was home after 24hrs and walked into town, pushing the double pushchair the 1/2 mile walk each way. I recover very quickly and I get cabin fever BADLY!! All my DC apart from DC1 were fine and didn't need extended care at the hospital. I was driving again a week after the c-section after a quick check with the doctor and insurance.

You might not feel up to a flight and the faff of organising DCs passport and packing etc but don't assume you won't. At the same time don't feel pressured into overdoing things. Keep your options open as much as possible. Within a couple of days of my DC being born it was very much business as usual.

How much is the cost of the flight etc worth to you?

If you could live with paying for it all but feeling unable to go at the time then I would book it. If it would be a massive loss/you can't afford to just write that off, then I would accept now that you can't go. And yes look at cost of potentially getting a last minute flight - though in June - you may be pushing it.

I think you can push a passport application through, but you'd want to have everything filled in in advance as much as possible and just add details like DOB and photo at the last minute.

"Worst case you'll be sore, best case you'll be fine."

Errrrr, no.
Worst case you could still be recovering from serious complications - obviously they are rare but they can happen.
It's not worst case to be sore - in a lot of cases you could be sore, if you've had a c-section and the scar takes a while to heal, or if you have an episiotomy or tear.
Best case you'll be fine, sure.

My birth wasn't a disaster by any means but wasn't straightforward either. Large baby, shoulder dystocia, episiotomy, I lost a lot of blood and developed an infection. Later got mastitis because my baby had tongue tie. I was unlucky but none of those things are particularly rare and they are certainly not "worst case scenario". Could have been worse.

Fair play to the superwomen who were travelling and hosting and goodness knows what else within a week or two of giving birth. It's great that some women can and want to do that stuff, but it's doesn't mean we all can. Women shouldn't put pressure on themselves to do too much in the early weeks. Giving birth and recovering while caring for a newborn is no mean feat.

Will you be able to book the baby's flight before he/she is born?

Yes you can book a flight for an unborn infant. Even if you don't know the sex etc.

Is this your first child? With my first I don't think I could have done it but with my second I went to my best friends wedding the day after he was born. Also how practical is your DP, if he can't pack a case you may be in for a eventful time

Bertie that's interesting, I had no idea!

Yep! :) I mean, usually, they are a bit older than 10 days at the planned time of travel, but flights are usually booked months in advance so it's quite a common scenario apparently.

If passport isn’t an issue, then you may be fine!
I was out of hospital within hours of both my deliveries, with stitches, and was still able to walk a few minutes etc. the same day. Certainly fine by day 10.

With second, we were due to fly at 4 wks old, but the eldest got Chickenpox so we couldn’t. We had already been away (3hr car journey, theme park) though, and that was fine.

However that’s just my experience; I had friends who didn’t and couldn’t leave the house for weeks. So it really depends on how the delivery is.
I hope you get to go!

I think you won’t know till baby comes - you can get a new passport in a week (did for my son) but you need to make an appointment and it’s expensive. Will you have help going? I would def say it is doable (depending on labour & how you are feeling) but I took my DS1 to France when he was 6 weeks (after c-section). Flight will be absolutely fine for a newborn in my opinion. Hard decision though as it puts pressure on you in what is already a very pressured, amazing, life changing and challenging time.