Not ready to let family babysit

[ch24]

Need some advice please I have a night out with work friends at the end of next month I haven't been apart from my child for more that two minutes so to prepare myself for this night we've asked grandparents to have her overnight while we have a couples night but I'm really stressing and anxious,
Is it really necessary to have alone time ? Our relationship hasn't suffered so far so I don't feel the need to leave her. Please help

How old is your baby? I think it is healthy to have a life/time away from your baby, but everyone is different. Maybe you could start shorter? I think a whole night may seem daunting. We started a week after my baby was born with short trips to pub, cinema or out for dinner or even just a shag nap, and gradually built up to overnight trips and eventually even blissful long haul holidays.

She's 2 months and it is really daunting yeah and that sounds better a few hours here and there I should of done that first , I'm considering cancelling this outing now I just don't want to miss a second they say babies are clingy but I think that it's me that is haha

There's still time, get someone to babysit and go to the pub for half an hour. It feels good to have adult company, then see how you feel about going slightly longer. Could you just meet work colleagues for pre or post dinner drinks instead of a whole evening?

I was like you and though my relationship hadn't suffered. Then my DH admitted he was really unhappy. But by that time I was pg with dc2...

Depends on how old your child is but I think it's great if you have willing gps who can give you some couple time. But agree with pp that maybe a whole night is a bit much to begin with! Try an evening out at first perhaps.

2 months is young though! So don't feel too pressurized. I'd definitely start with a few hours at the pub before a whole night away.

Imo 2 months is quite young to be apart a whole night. DD was 11 months before I left her and even then it was with DP. We had plenty of date nights at home and spent time as a family but neither of us would have been comfortable before then.

If you don't feel ready then I wouldn't.

My dd is 8 months and I still haven't left her!

If it's any consolation.....my DH wants us to leave our two and go away overnight. I'm not sure. They're 8 and 6 (and the older one has been away on a school residential trip).......!!! 😂

2 months is tiny. I could not leave my baby at 2 months. That is still the 4 trimester. There's is a good reason why you don't want to.

My 16 month old has only been left over night with DH and that was fairly recently.

Can't your partner look after the baby for your work night out?

I'm glad I'm not the only one then Thankyou everyone I feel better knowing for me it's too soon,
I do feel bad on my partner he's excited to be just us for a night but I'm definitely not ready,
I'm going to change plans with work and just go to a pub before they hit town and go home that's all I could possibly handle even now I'm crying thinking about leaving her :(

My partner works with us too so it would be both of us going not just me.

Just be aware I left DD with family at 16 months after they had been BEGGING since she was born to have her overnight. I had a phone call at 10.30pm because they 'couldn't cope' with her as she was 'crying all the time' and had to come home from my cousin's wedding reception. Luckily I was BF so drove back.

There was nothing bloody wrong with her, she just wouldn't go to sleep at 7 so they could watch coronation street.

Why does the baby have to stay overnight? Would it be a possibility for someone to 'watch' her at your home so you are only actually apart for a few hours?

You still have a very tiny baby, it's perfectly natural to want to be with them at that age, I didn't leave either of mines until they were a year as that's when I felt comfortable. Go with what feels right for you, not much point in going out if you won't enjoy it.

Oh no I can't believe that, I bet that really did spoil your faith in letting her stay out overnight again see that also worries me its such a hard decision.

I mean this gently but how would your baby cope if you were rushed into hospital or worse? I honestly think you need to at least leave your baby with your partner ...... and then try leaving her for short periods with her grandparents.

It's going to be a real shock for her (and you no doubt) when you do leave her.

Exactly another good point I won't enjoy it properly because I'll be on edge all the time and I could go for a few hours but as I've not drunk in a while even after one is it ok to go back and then be responsible for her ?

Everyone has good points :) in one sense I need to be apart from her but it's gunna kill me but it's for both of our own good really

Don't do it until you feel ready! There is no right or wrong, whether you child is 2 months or 2 years old.

Dd is 2 and I've still not left her overnight yet.

I have a rule about not leaving dc for overnight stays until they are well over 6 months. I'm not comfortable with it so I don't do it. If you are not comfortable don't feel pressured or u won't enjoy it

I only left my first my first for short periods (literally half an hour to start) until by about 6 months I was happy to go for a few hours. He didn't stay anywhere overnight til 10 months old and I definitely wasn't ready before then.

My second is 3 months old. I leave him 2 hours a week to go to a yoga class and that's it. He will be left for a few hours on my birthday next month but not overnight. I breastfed both with makes a difference but even so I would not have been anywhere near ready at 2 months - if you're not then don't go. Or go for a few hours but don't drink and have her looked after in your home.

If you do feel ready then have a fab time. But if you're not yet it's totally reasonable. If she was 2 years old I'd be a bit but 2 months is so young

I left my dd with my mum for a couple of hours a week from a few weeks old, she's 14 months now and I haven't left her overnight at all, I still don't feel I want to as I'd miss her so much!

Don't be worried about it being bad for her that you're not ready to leave her with someone else at 2 months! My DD is 2 years old and has been looked after by my mum overnight without me twice in her life . Both of those trips happened when she was very little, and I was fine with it. It's just personal preference that I don't really like to leave her places overnight.

There's no need to force yourself into things you are not comfortable with, but if you want to go out she will equally come to no harm without you there for a night.

I understand your anxiety though, I am due number 2 in a few weeks and am determined to a practice run (which I have been putting off ) so I know that she will be okay when she stays at my mum's again. Your DD will be fine!

We are the only mammals on the planet who have an obsession with getting away from our children. Getting them to sleep alone, eat alone, cope alone.

It natural for you to want to be with your baby. And for your baby to want to be with you.

I left one child at 7 weeks he was fantastic. Didn't even notice I'd gone. The other not until just overt 7 months. It was horrific. My husband was texting me constantly about how she was losing her shit and then at 7 am asked me to come back. Because she had screamed for 16 hours straight.

I didn't even contemplate leaving her again for months. And then when I did she was fine. Because she was ready.

You have to ask yourself who you're doing it for. Will she enjoy it? Will you even enjoy yourself?

Ds is 3.5yo. We tried to leave him with gp at 17mo for a wedding but got a call at 9pm to come back because they couldn't cope.. He did have an overnight with a friend at 2yo when I gave birth to ds2 but friend spent half the night reading to him.
However we dont have any family near enough to offer nights away.
I didn't want to leave mine until they were 1yo really. At 2mo i would have just wanted to sleep rather than go out.