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Parenting

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Original poster

16 year old babysitting, would you be ok with it?

32 replies

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 10:59

Me and my daughters dad aren't together, but getting on ok.
He's just dropped DD off and asked if I'd be ok with his youngest brother babysitting next Saturday. I'm already going out and it's his night to have DD. He's 16, 17 in November, he's not babysat for us before and I'm not sure. He's reasonably mature, he's left home alone while his mum works and stuff but I just don't know if I feel comfortable with it.
Although I'm aware it's not really my desision to make. He is asking and says if I'm not comfortable he just won't go out.

I don't know if I'm just being a bit PFB or not.
I did babysit myself at younger than that and he's really good when he's with her. I don't think he's ever changed her nappy, or got a bottle ready (expressed milk so no making it up) but he has fed her.

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Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 11:00

Oh and should mention DD is almost 1.

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sashh · 17/09/2017 11:15

Depends a lot about the children. Can you have him over for an evening and let him have a dry run with you there?

What arrangements are there fort an emergency?

Will your DD be happy with her uncle?

Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 11:27

I'm sure she'd be happy enough sashh she's quite a easy going baby, not difficult to settle or anything.
My ex is wanting to go to a match so she'll be left from about 2pm till 7/8ish, he's saying he won't drink and his brother can phone him if he needs him.

I could ask him if he'll have him round through the week, so he can go through her routine and everything with him.

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pombal · 17/09/2017 11:29

It's a no from me due to your baby's age.

user1493413286 · 17/09/2017 11:30

I'd feel that was a bit young for a one year old. I think if your daughter was older it'd be ok but personally I'd worry too much but I'd go with your gut instinct as you know the brother and your daughter so you'll know if you feel comfortable or not with it.

wendz86 · 17/09/2017 11:35

If child was a bit older I'd say ok . I babysat at 14 onwards but does depend on teenager .

Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 11:37

That's my initial thought too pombal and user I think she's too young. Although he's lovely and I don't not trust him. It's just more awkward as we aren't together, I don't want it to come across as me not trusting his desision or trying to stop him going out. His other brother (19) I'm absolutely fine with, he babysits often although more for me than his brother.

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Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 11:39

Me too wendz and for quite small babies too. I did see them a lot though besides babysitting and I'd say I was really grown up for my age.

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CarolinePenvenen · 17/09/2017 11:39

Her age would bother me more than his. I used to babysit for all ages when I was younger than 16 but she’s very little for essentially a kid, albeit a nice one, to look after for the best part of a day.

Gillian1980 · 17/09/2017 11:53

Depends on the individual babysitter and child.

I babysat from age 14, including young babies.

There are of course people who are very mature at 16/17.... some are married, or parents etc.

I don't know any teenager who I know well enough to leave dd with. But that's not an age thing it's just that I don't know then well enough.

timeisnotaline · 17/09/2017 11:55

Absolutely. All the babysitters when we were growing up were grade 7/8 so 12 or 13. I babysat from that age and was extremely competent - I'd cook dinner, clean up, bath bottle nappy change and bed.

AnneOfCleavage · 17/09/2017 12:21

I would not be happy with a 16 year old having a 1 year old for 6 hours. A couple of hours perhaps yes but with 6 he will have to change her nappy a good couple of times - has he done this before? He would have to feed and possibly bath her and settle her to sleep. She would need constant supervision too so is the 16 year old on his phone a lot or Xbox as that would be a no-no?
Course I don't know the lad so he could be really responsible and used to this so ultimately it would be up to your gut feeling. Could the other brother who has done it lots come over too so there's two of them?

notacooldad · 17/09/2017 12:26

How long is dad out for and how far away is he going to be.
Could he get back quickly if the lad finds himself struggling or is their anyone the boy can ask for help nearby. E.g. His nan and grandad maybe?

notacooldad · 17/09/2017 12:28

Sorry, I have just seen 6 hours!
I wouldn't say an outright no without looking at ways the boy could be supported.

Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 12:40

I don't think it helps that I still see him as the 10/11 year old I first met, who was still very much a child. So thinking of him taking care of my daughter seems wrong.
My ex didn't actually think to ask him either, he went to ask his mum (who's working so can't) his brother said he'd do it for £20! Then he said he thought about it and thought why not, he's almost 17.

I do think it will end up being longer than 6 hours, kick off is 3, he's saying he'll set off at 2. It's a train and bus or two buses there though and I think they'll have to set off earlier. Then after always seems end up being later than expected. Although he says he'd want to be back for bedtime and won't drink.

I don't want to take over and sort his childcare out and I don't want to change my plans, 1: I've had it sorted ages and it's more important than a footy match.
2: I don't want our normal, to be me changing plans for him to do as he wants.

I just don't think I feel ok with it though.

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Original poster

Emboo19 · 17/09/2017 12:42

His other brother is already going to the match Anne
The nearest people to help, would be my parents, about 20 mins away. Depending on what they are doing themselves though.

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delilahbucket · 17/09/2017 12:55

I would say no due to your dds age and teenage boys aren't as responsible as girls. I would also be annoyed that her dad had arranged to go out during contact time when it sounds like he doesn't have her every weekend.

pombal · 17/09/2017 13:25

Could your parents have DD this weekend at ex change his contact day?

In a year or two DD and the ex's DS will be older and then it'll probably be ok, just not right now.

pombal · 17/09/2017 13:25

and not at

123rd · 17/09/2017 13:27

I'd would say yes if it were evening and baby was already settled in bed. 2 pm still lots of time that it will need looking after/ entertaining. Also feeding.

WowserBowser · 17/09/2017 13:42

I would say no. Probably because of the baby's age. I have a nearly 11 month old and she is constantly cruising and looking for bad things to play with. Like pp it's not as though it is nighttime where he can just plop her in her cot anr just be there for when she sleeps.

MadeForThis · 17/09/2017 13:42

If he's 2 buses away he will not be able to get back quickly if his brother needs help.

LoloRupis · 17/09/2017 14:18

My son is 15 and he looks after his 3yrold brother for 2-3hrs or so

VioletCharlotte · 17/09/2017 14:27

I think it depends how used to young children his brother is. My 16 year old DS wouldn't have a clue. Whereas when I was 16 I used to babysit regularly, I had lots of little cousins and was really confident with babies.

RaininSummer · 17/09/2017 14:54

Think I would say no owing too age of baby and the length of time involved. I found that very stressful and I am nearly fifty years older. Baby might sleep a lot but also might cry a lot and the lad my not cope well.

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