Mil didn't add boiling water to bottle

[harleysmammy]

I left my 5 month old with my mil today for the first time. Me and my partner went shopping as mil has a broken foot and is house bound for a while so we thought it would be nice for her to have his company. I was nervous and I didn't want to leave him and I felt awful but I trust her obviously, she's my mil. Anyway, she fed him 7 oz whilst we was out and I thought nothing of it. She's had 2 kids I assumed she knew. We got back and my son started grizzling, so she made him another 4 oz. I heard her shaking the powder with the formula but then she came straight back in and gave it too me. It was cold. I then had bad pains in my belly after I realised she hadn't boiled the kettle and hadn't done for the feed that she'd fed him whilst we was out. I didn't say anything but when we left, I told my partner we wouldn't be leaving him again. This is the type of thing I was afraid off. I love my mil and I trust her so much but this is why I didn't want to leave him -not with her, with anyone. He's had about 11-12 ounces with cold water, will he be okay??

This is why i only use the ready made stuff, far too much faff using powder! I just pour it out and warm slightly if its been in the fridge.

Probably a good idea to leave ready made for anyone babysitting, making up powder is a ballache.

In the United States, boiling the water is considered something our mothers or grandmothers did, not a modern practice!

In the United States, boiling the water is considered something our mothers or grandmothers did, not a modern practice!

So how do you sterilise the powder?

I'm struggling to see how the dry powder is going to be covered with a high enough concentration of enteric bacteria (i.e. the Ines that cause food poisoning) to cause disease.

Drying is a food preservation method. It works because the type of bacteria that cause disease in humans cannot multiply in an environment without moisture.

I thought the reason for boiling and cooling the water was to kill bacteria in the water? It is always present in tap water but at low enough counts not to be a danger to any but newborns or immunosuppressed older children and adults.

Why not look it up then? Hot water is to kill bacteria in the powder not the water as the powder is not sterile

And powdered formula has been implicated in illness and death due to the bacteria found in some of them which led to the change in guidance for the safe preparation of it

I've always heard that you should aleads use freshly boiled water when making up formula. It seems a bit harsh to not let her look after him again over this. I'm sure if you explain to her she will understand. Or you could do as someone else has suggested and give her a couple of the ready made up bottles you can buy to keep in her fridge. It's very unlikely that he will become ill but keep an eye on him and hopefully all will be ok.

Demented is right the powdered formula can make them seriously ill if the bacteria is not killed off.

I always made up formula with cold bottled water, and then heated it to warm for her to drink. I never knew about boiling water, this was not part of the instructions I got (I'm in a European country, this was 7 years ago). I was just told to use bottled not tap (don't know why). My DD never came to any harm and I made her bottles this way from birth.

Very passive aggressive to say nothing and now punish her

I think the poor MIL played right into the OP's hands.

I was just told to use bottled not tap (don't know why).

What do you mean "told"? Didn't you read the instructions?

Presumably baby didn't suffer any ill effects as a result. He shouldn't have needed a second bottle if you were away just 45 minutes but if he were unsettled it was probably the easiest way from her pov to deal with it. I think it is worth you dealing with your anxiety before you try again by which time he will be older and more readily distractible. The issue with your sister was a while ago, although I do wonder if there was more to it that feeding her water, as a little shouldn't have been a problem and was indeed recommended for ff babies in the past.

Your concern it valid, bottles should be made up properly. However, never leaving him again is a little bit over the top, just provide ready made formula and instructions next time. She's probably not familiar with formula.

Over reaction on your part. In your MILs generation this was the norm and so all you have to do is explain that the health advice has changed and why. It's no big deal.

I'm not in any way punishing her. I see the woman every day almost and I always have the baby with me. No, he hasn't had any ill affect which I assume would have happened by now.

I had my first child 28 years ago and the advice around cosleeping, weaning, formula feeding and even parenting has changed quite a lot over the years. Just show her how to do it next time you're making up a bottle.

My DDs are in their 20s. Both were exclusively formula fed.
The advice then was to use boiled water, but not boiling water. So I expect that's what your mil did.
DDs didn't die. In fact when DD2 went to GP for contraception at 17 that was the first time she'd been since her routine baby jabs.

Your DC will be absolutely fine.

Maybe it was kettle boiled water she'd allowed to cool?
Some 24 years ago this was ok.
I think your maybe being a bit 'first born' over this,and at some point you too will make a mistake too .

Things have changed in the past 10 years with regards to prep of bottles. Honestly your baby will be fine. I would never just assume somebody knows the current regulations on making a bottle. You should of told her.
Im more concerned that the poor women has a broken foot and you left her to babysit!

It was certainly wrong of your MIL to not follow the instructions, but don't worry too much about your baby.

The instructions about boiling water are really important for newborn babies but by 5 months old (by which time they could be crawling to the cat litter tray for some fun interactive play) it's less of an issue.

That's not to say you shouldn't bother with good hygiene practices but don't lose sleep over this lapse.

I don't understand why you still fed the baby the second bottle knowing it hadn't been boiled.

My parents are not quite with all the current guidelines so could also do something 'wrong' at times but it surely would have been quite easy to say "Oh was this made with boiled water? No, okay I will make another as it is important its made with boiled water to kill the bacteria".

Its just an innocent mistake which could have been easily rectified. I'm sure baby will be okay, it just isn't ideal.

My baby had Omeprazole which needed to be mixed with boiled water, when we went away at 11 months old her consultant said to mix with bottled water rather than tap and that is only for 20mls so you aren't being dramatic!

I think YABU here. You left your baby with someone with a broken foot and with no instructions. Guidance changes all the time so unless she's had a baby recently she's unlikely to be up to date.
And yes she could Google etc but if you're not used to it I can imagine it being a bit stressful hobbling around on one foot with a screaming baby trying to remember what to do.
Its unfair to punish her for a mistake when you should've explained.

Oh sorry have just seen your latest update when you chucked the bottle she made!

I still think it would have been easier to mention something at the time as its now difficult to approach without risking your relationship with MIL.

I am sure he will be fine as it was a one off but I am surprised she just used tap water to make it up. I know advice changes but I don't think making formula up with water just out the tap has ever been recommended. When I had my eldest the advice was to NOT add the powder to just boiled water, but you still had to boil the water and let it cool.

I did explain. I didn't dump my son with someone with a broken foot, she offered to have him which usually I would have said no, but my partner said yes before asking me. He is his dad so what do I say? "No, your mother can't have him, he's my son I'll make the decisions". No. I have never left my son before and I didn't ask either, he was ready to come out with us but she wanted to mind him.

I didn't give him the second bottle, I put it down and we left sharpish so she didn't realise I hadn't given it too him.