10 mo waking several times a night - need sleep training advice pls!

[Dalesgirl16]

We are two weeks into it - every night my 10 mo baby is waking several times a night. She was sleeping through the night since she was 3 months til now. She cries til we go to her and doesn't stop til we pick her up. She doesn't cry then unless we put her back in her cot so we end up with her lying next to us til she goes back to sleep. I want to try sleep training or controlled crying as I have bad injury and my husband has a technical job that he needs to be alert for! Please please can I hear what anyone has done to stop this. I don't need to hear about how anyone is against any methods, thank you. I'm just looking for solutions please! Thanks in advance!

Could it be the 9 month sleep regression? If so, slept training may not help unfortunately.

Have you ruled out teething, tummy upsets, ear ache and sore throats too?

We have ruled out teething as when we pick her up she is fine. As soon as we try to put her down to sleep she screams and doesn't stop. If it's a regression it's the first one we have experienced. What are we supposed to do? Just pick her up and put in bed with us as we have been doing, til she sleeps? It's exhausting three times a night

Not sure how that would rule out teething OP. Have you checked her mouth for teeth coming through?

Could be the 9 month sleep regression. I coslept through it as my DS would sleep through as long as I was there, but seemed to wake about every 45 minutes if I wasn't. I know some people are vehemently against cosleeping but babies are little for such a short space of time in the grand scheme of things, I'd rather just give him the comfort

I figured if it were teething pain she would be grouchy even after we pick her up.

I have no idea how people co sleep and get to sleep without rolling over their baby? Genuinely would like to know

Have you got the safe bed sharing guidelines?

My almost 10mo has spent the past 4 weeks waking up screaming until I bring her into bed with me. I'm happy to report that the last 3 nights she has returned to her usual sleeping through. Possibly give it another two weeks or so and see if it's improved.

My husband and I sleep as far to the edges of the bed as possible with a gap between our pillows and separate thin blankets and out our daughter in between in her grobag. It's been fine so far even though my husband has a hearing impairment and I'd been concerned about his awareness.

I hardly move in my sleep and DH sleeps in the other room so we don't disturb each other, so plenty of room for DS though he always spreadeagles himself across my side.
At first I was worried about rolling on him but I seem to be hyper aware of him even when I'm asleep so it's never been an issue. I actually sleep much better with him in the room, when he's in the nursery I keep waking up to check the baby monitor!

I move around constantly so don't know if it's an option. She lay next to me last night til she slept and as soon as I put her back in the cot she woke! I'm like a zombie.

Would a floor bed setup be an option? I did this until my DS was 12 months as I didn't think my mattress was firm enough for him to sleep on so I had my mattress next to his cot mattress on the floor. He couldn't roll off as his mattress was next to the wall and I babyproofed the rest of the room so he couldn't hurt himself if he crawled out of bed. I used to feed him to sleep on his mattress so once he was asleep I didn't have to move him and risk waking him. And when you're asleep you're on your own mattress so very unlikely to roll on the baby. Hope you manage to get a rest today, it's awful dealing with a non-sleeping baby but (as with everything else) I'm sure this is just a phase and it will soon get easier. Hang in there!

Nothing worked for us until we moved our DD to her own room. I think we were waking her up so she couldn't sleep.
How do you get her to sleep at the moment?

Thanks for the advice. She is currently in her own room in her cotbed. My husband puts her to bed, turns Ewan the sheep on and sits next to the crib til she goes to sleep. Usually takes 10-15 mins. Last night took 1.5 hrs to even go to sleep!

Babies need the environment to be the same when they go to sleep as when they wake up in the night (apparently) so because Ewan turns off and it's not on when she wakes up maybe she needs the noise to put her to sleep? Maybe try a continuous white noise app?

I want to buy her a white noise machine. Need to research them

My son went through this 'phase' for about 5 weeks (he has never been a great sleeper but was up 5 times a night), DH and I were at breaking point so we did CC. Worked well and within 3 nights he was sleeping 8-6, BF and down till 7 which he is doing now. His naps are a different story. Although it worked very well, he regresses after a cold and we had to re-train which I think can happen a lot so you should be prepared for that. My tips would be, be mentally prepared, it is torture to go through, be consistent, once you start do not pick her up, even if crying/standing walk away for allotted time, don't stay in room for more than necessary (not more than 2 mins), decide on your allotted times before you get started. First night could take an hour or more, my DS was not sick but I have read that can happen.

I have tried CC for naps but has never really worked so now I put DS down (after story, lullaby and short rock) awake and hold my hands on his bum and back (he always goes straight onto his side then onto his tummy when settling) - he is usually out within 5 mins, for us this is a miracle (for the first 6 months he only napped in my arms, would wake as soon as I put him down/stop the pram etc)

Any more questions let me know. If you decide to try it, good luck, if you don't I hope you find another method or she reverts back to a good sleeper.

Also on the white noise - I used an old phone and an app called sound sleeper (phone on airplane mode). We don't use anymore as my DH finds it stressful so thinks DS must too (there are some arguments you keep at and some you give in) but didn't seem to make a difference to us (may be different for you)

Is she still having two naps? About this age they often need to transition to just the one.
I also had bad sleepers and had to co sleep just so that we all got the maximum sleep possible.

Put her in her cot. Don't go back until morning. Let her wake and cry. She'll learn quickly to settle herself back to sleep. At the moment she's ruling the roost by crying out and have you rush and pick her up.
If you really can't help but go to her simply say it's sleep time. Don't pick her up, don't put lights on over and above her nightlight. Then leave room. She won't come to any harm from crying.
Far from destroying children's confidence and doing eternal damage helping children learn they are perfectly capable of settling themself builds resilience.

@Avebury this is my first child so really don't know but I have read this which suggests that they need to for quite a while longer...just sharing as another angle for OP to think about.

www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/12-month-olds-one-nap-transition/

Two not to

Have only scanned that article but very few children I know have continued napping til 3/4. Some granted but those tended to be the ones who then went to bed much later in the evening.

Mine all transitioned to one nap between 12-15 months and I made that transition when after having a morning nap they then didn't want an afternoon one til much later and definitely got much worse overnight often trying to wake for good at 4am.

DC1 kept his nap til nearly 3 but was happy to read books in bed in the evening until he was ready to sleep but the others dropped it earlier because otherwise getting them to bed at a decent time was impossible.

All children need different amounts of sleep but a child who is waking frequently or too early might need their naps cutting down on.

At this age though there is often a major sleep regression as they have so much going on as they get mobile, cut teeth, learn to talk. Hard to switch off those little brains I'm sure.

I sleep trained my DS at 10 months and alongside making huge changes to his bedtime routine we used CC and it was very effective.

Prior to doing the training he would only sleep if breast fed to sleep and would be up 3-4 times a night, sometimes for hours. I was beyond exhausted and cried a lot.

I contacted a Sleep Consultant for help and guidance and took it from there.

Within 5 days he was self settling at night and then sleeping through from 8pm to 6am. It was wonderful and made life so much more happier for me and DS was so much happier too as he wasn't permanently tired and irritable.

Thanks. I don't really know what controlled crying involves- go in occasionally and reassure them ? She has an hour nap at 10.30 and another at 2pm normally . I figured she would drop the afternoon herself soon. We are completely messed up anyway

With CC I went in a minute after if left the room, keep interaction minimal and just lie DS back down in his cot and tell him it was bedtime.

He'd get upset again when I left the room but that time I didn't go in for two minutes and then repeated the above.

The next time got upset I didn't go in for 4 minutes and then the time after that I waited 8 minutes. Each subsequent time he got upset I went back in after 8 minutes, he was never left longer than that without me going back in to lie him down again.

I used this process for when he was initially put to bed at night and also if he woke up at any point during the night.

At 10 months old my son had two naps that each lasted 1.5 hours: 9.30am - 11am and then 2.00pm until 3.30pm. He didn't transition to one nap until he was about 2 years old when he then slept for two hours after lunch. He carried on with having that afternoon nap until he just over 3 years old.

Thank you so much for that. I think there won't be a 'next time upset' just continuous crying like we have now . Will try !!