does it make me a bad mother?

[gingernutlover]

I have realised - with some sadness that I dont really enjoy being with dd

She is 18m, and I work part time as a teacher, so normally only spend 2 dyas a week alone wqith her - and keep very busy with toddlers, shopping etc -0 we are hardly in house

It is now easter hols and I actually dread the thought of long days alone with her

I am the first to admit that I am not the most maternal person.

She is very tantrummy and has always been hard to please. Gets bored easily as do I.

The easter hols are only 2 weeks and with the long weekend and me still using some of her nursery sessions I shall get there, but oh my god, summer is 6 long weeks at home with dd, just the two of us.

HOw come I enjoy teaching a class of 4 year olds yet, find time spent with my own duaghter very very difficult.

I wouldn't be without my easel. Chalk one side, paint on the other. Its in the kitchen and gives me time to cook, wash up etc. HTH

You're welcome Wish I'd discovered MN when dd was small...

thankyou

some brill ideas

must just relax into it a bit more

mess is somthing I dont worry too much about - bearing mind I spend the day with 4 year olds hehe.

I find some of the best times are when she is being inspired by something - be it a book, a beetle or a puddle - and we can share the moment. Of course, communication helps a lot and this is about the time when it really opens up.

Another KS1 teacher who has found that she doesn't always enjoy the company of small children, so much so I will probably change career when I go back.

Don't get me wrong I adore them & love being a SAHM but I now realise I need adult company-a lot!!! I kind of realise in a few years time I will have done the kiddy thing and will be ready for a change. Looking after toddlers all day is hard work for anyone.

At 18 months she is still a baby, it does get a lot easier. I structure my time at home a lot. My lot are off pre-school for a month-help!!!! I've actually drawn up a timetable with plans for home time and trips out, sad I know but it really helps.

Look on the net for pre-school sites they have loads of ideas. Homemade playdough and cake tins keep them quiet for hours. A bit of cBeebies to break the day up doesn't hurt.

Also go to the library and get books out. I love reading stories (not big on the block building thing). I find if I read stories for half an hour they'll happily sit and read a pile of picture books on their own for half an hour after.

Swimming is rather nice with little toddlers. Get a swim nappy and a set of rubber armbands, take LO with you to the pool and just splash around. If your local pool has a 'small' pool with very shallow water, even better, but a normal size pool is OK as long as you don't let go of the DC and keep the armbands on. I did it with DS on Monday and we both loved it - he grinned and giggled all the way through and I enjoyed the cuddling and closeness that is getting a bit harder to manage now he's such a big boy and I have a bad back so find it hard to lift him up for any length of time.

I didn't enjoy the toddler phase with dd, donlt think that makes me a bad mother just one who does not get toddlers.

I was about to post a message saying that I hate being a mum. I don't like babies and toddlers, but noone ever wants to hear that. If you say it, people look at you like you are crazy. I like kids 3yo+ and have found becoming a mum a nasty horrible experience thanks to birth complications. I don't want ds (14 months) to be an only child, but I can't stand the thought of doing this again (birth, and the toddler stage).

In truth, Dh was going to stay home as soon as I stopped BFing, and I was going to go back to work. medical problems stopped that so here I am. You definitely aren't alone in feeling like this, but noone likes to admit it. Motherhood is a big secret you don't find out about until you join the party.