I smacked my 4 year old and I need to help her through it.

[BlackberrySad]

Before someone says actually you hit her, I'll get in and say yes I did but I didn't want the title to be too provoking.

I think smack is a watered down word parents use to justify themselves.

I feel sick and ashamed and awful and all I'm looking for is a way to discuss what happened with her and for her to know I did something very wrong. I don't want to sweep it under the carpet not to. E mentioned and I want to check she's really ok without going overboard. She's asleep now and I said sorry a million times before she went back to bed.

I can completely understand how and why it happened, don't be too hard on yourself.
Obviously you know that it wasn't an acceptable thing to do, you are obviously also aware aware that your actions towards yourself are not okay either. It's where you go from here that demonstrates that you still are a good mum to your daughter. You haven't tried to justify your actions, you are looking for a way to resolve things. That tells me that you are a good parent.
The majority of parents have been brought to the end of their tether by their little ones, it really isn't as easy as some people make it look!

I think she won't even remember it tomorrow morning. She knows she was being naughty and you're giving yourself a really hard time for no reason. The more you talk about it with your dd the more of a big deal it will be for her. At the moment it really isn't so just avoid doing it again and take care of yourself.

It's difficult if you don't like taking SSRIs though, isn't it? If that's what your GP is giving you to help, but you won't take them because you don't like them, they can't help you. You need to be honest with your GP, as they'll be thinking that they have given you an effective treatment.

When they are frightened, they laugh. It might be just a nervous thing or it might be deliberate to try to make you laugh to diffuse the tension and make everything OK again.

Tell her you are sorry and explain what for. Explain what you did and why you did it and why it was not OK. Encourage her to tell you how she felt at the time ( you could suggest: you must have felt scared and sad or ... because....) Get it all out and have big cuddles and talk about healthy ways you can both let out strong feelings and that she can talk to you about it whenever she thinks about it.

this is really sad, for both of you. I don't have any experience/advice to offer that relates to this situation but I hope things improve for you re your MH.

Don't kid yourself: she will remember it but talk it through, explain it and reassure her it won't happen again.

When they are frightened, they laugh. It might be just a nervous thing or it might be deliberate to try to make you laugh to diffuse the tension and make everything OK again

^ yes, mine do this.

Blackberry I hope you are feeling better this morning and you are able to chat to your DD.

I can only echo what others have said in regard to gettign yourself some help.

She's much happier this morning although she had an unsettled night with lots of crying and shouting . I've done my best to reassure her.

I'm sure her laughing was a reactive to fear which is awful.

I'm going to get help. I still feel wrong and tightly wound today but have got support.

Please do contact your GP ASAP.

It's not great but sometimes it gets to that point. I've slapped my ds leg a couple of times. My dad used to belt me weekly! My mum slapped me a few times growing up too. It hasn't affected our relationship. I probably deserved it! Don't worry about it. Just tell her that you lost your temper with her because of her behaviour.

Glad you decided to ask for help. It's the best thing you can do for your DD and yourself

FateDestiny,
Your attitude is appalling and your comments are beyond cruel. The original poster came on here for support, very well aware that what she did was wrong and never once seeking to justify her behaviour. Your response to her post inspite of the fact that you know nothing about her is to suggest that her child is at a disadvantage for having to live with her and that she is not deserving of or has lost her child’s trust. Well that is extremely presumptuous unless you happen to know more about this persons family life than what she has told us. And then when challenged, you take a “what did I say that was so wrong” attitude. You claim to have safeguarding training, personally I don’t much believe you, I think that’s just something you say to justify your sanctimonious and cruel attitude. Shame on you for your inability to show common empathy and compassion for someone who clearly admits to having crossed the line and missed the mark. The fact that she chose not to respond to you or engage with you in anyway speaks volumes about her level of restraint and indeed the level to which she took ownership of her actions. When she goes on to say she wants to go and cuddle with her child, you continue to berate her and say someone else should go and cuddle with her child and that she needs to stop putting her own needs before her child’s. Who made you judge and jury over this person who youve only come across on the Internet for you to be so adamant that she has lost trust and privileges with her child because of a one off event of mild smacking? Your response says more about you as a person than it does about her, and it’s not a good picture. Shame on you.

Oh ffs, many of us grew up being smacked and we are all fine. What's with the OTT responses to this thread?! "Help her through it"? She was naughty, you smacked her, you now feel guilty. You'll all live and she won't be damaged by it. I agree it's more worrying you head butting or hitting yourself.