If you contemplated 3 children but stopped at 2...why?

[JL2017]

Just that really, DH and I have always contemplated 3, we have 2 DDs now (5&2) and I am wondering whether I can be bothered to try for another....

If you thought about it but opted not to (rather than being unable to) what put you off?!

We are young enough but I just don't know if I can face pregnancy/sleepless nights/cost/time of work again. Also can't leave it too long because we are both 36/37 this year.

Thanks! This has stopped me broody pangs for at least this month.... a lot of people mention wanting a newborn, strangely that doesn't interest me at all I would say the first year is the bit I liked least but I love toddler / childhood age which is why I am starting to feel sad my youngest is getting so grown up suddenly! Lots of really good points here though so thank uou all.

Looking ahead and thinking there were things I'd like to do once the DC were independent and if I had another, it would set back the date I could do those things by the age of my current youngest child

Sheer knackeredness

Environmental concerns

Probably in that order.

DC2 very challenging baby and toddler, still doesn't really sleep through and she's nearly 3. DC1 was very jealous of her when she was born and he was unhappy for a long time.

Time, money and emotional energy- we feel we can only really do our best at parenting 2.

We live very far away from family and we feel we'd need active grandparent support for a third.

We always planned 3 or 4 , DH always wanted a big family. Happy with our choice to stop at 2.

I think the decision for a third child really has to be made with your head.

I'm not ruling out a third completely, if one happened then we would make the best of it, but I would be upset if I found myself pregnant now.

I'm always putting things off because the kids aren't old enough to do them. The oldest child suffers from this. For example, travel, outdoor sports, hiking, or even just a slightly more grown up atmosphere. The oldest is 11 and has been a big sibling for five years. So basically, just as the oldest became able to do things like full day hikes (and actually enjoy them) holidays (and actually remember them) even play bloody board games as a family and not have to be on someone's team, or go to the cinema to see something not Disney, there was another child, and not only could WE not do them, neither could the eldest. And now we are rolling on toward the age where the youngest can join in, if I added a sibling now, eldest would have suffered those effects for their entire childhood. The youngest would then be a middle and would have the same as the eldest has had now. And that's not fair.

I still do those things for the eldest, but to do so I have to divide and conquer.

Add to that I bloody hate being pregnant.

Something feels missing, I feel three is a great number, I know there is a gap that won't be filled but it's my issue, and adding another would be my kids' issue, and that's why I'm not doing it.

Shit, why did I read this, pregnant with surprise third...! Ah well

I was the first reply to this thread and had to take an (unplanned, negative) pregnancy test this morning Neither DH or I sure how to feel but may reread this to make myself feel better!