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Original poster

Drive to hospital and drinking

58 replies

archersfan3 · 09/07/2017 08:11

We're expecting number 2 soon and I just wondered what everyone else did if their partner likes a drink but would have to drive them to hospital at an unexpected time? How do you avoid the situation of going into labour and partner being over the limit? He would only be over a few times a week but sod's law says that's when it would happen, and we would need to go straight away as it would be a VBAC and I would need monitoring as soon as I'm in labour.
We are in a rural area some distance from the hospital and from our families so taxis/lifts are tricky. (Not sure if taxis would even take me - might phone to enquire though?)
I know most babies arrive within 2 weeks either side of the due date but a request for complete abstinence for up to 4 weeks will not be popular!
I remember considering this last time but really cannot remember what we decided in the end, and so I was interested in what everyone else did? I have a feeling we might have decided that he restricted his drinking to days x and y and we would just have to go in a taxi if it happened then. This time the situation is complicated by having our toddler too.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 09/07/2017 08:12

Surely your partner could go without drinking for that period of time?

hazeyjane · 09/07/2017 08:14

Dh just stopped drinking, or stuck to 1, when we were in the 'zone'

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 09/07/2017 08:15

How often does he drink

I'd expect him to cut down in the last few weeks (have a back up plan for any nights out he has), and avoid entirely from about 38 weeks in your situation.

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Quartz2208 · 09/07/2017 08:15

If he can't go 4 weeks without drinking he has an issue!

thethoughtfox · 09/07/2017 08:16

They stop drinking so they can be ready at a moment's notice - and we lived across the road from a taxi rank! Especially in the rural circumstances you describe. If he isn't willing/ able to do that, you have bigger problems. ( I do hope that is not the case)

OddBoots · 09/07/2017 08:18

It is normal for partners to stop drinking at that stage, especially living that far from the hospital.

EngTech · 09/07/2017 08:18

I think their is no exception when it comes to drink driving.

If you were stopped, the Police would sort out getting to the hospital bit.

The driver would be asked to provide a breath sample and if they failed it, the law would follow due process.

FruitBadger · 09/07/2017 08:22

My DH didn't stop drinking entirely, but he never had so much that he would have been unable to drive, so most nights he didn't drink at all and others he had one. If he fancied more than one, he split a bottle if beer into two shandies. I never asked, he just did it because he realised I would be relying on him.

Scrowy · 09/07/2017 08:23

I like a drink I really do. I can easily sink a bottle of wine a night several nights a week. I'm also quite happy not to drink, e.g I'm currently trying to lose weight so have knocked it on the head for a month or so.

He needs to grow up and recognise that his liking for a drink isn't the most important thing at the moment and it is only for a very short period of time in his life. A beer in an evening isn't actually going to put him over the limit (unless you are in Scotland) so if the issue actually is that he wishes to be able to drink past the drink drive limit a several times a week and that is more important than being able to get you to hospital then he needs to look at if he has a healthy relationship with alcohol.

Also in his position I would feel pretty rotten if I had to stay awake on a labour ward all night after having consumed enough alcohol to make me unable to drive.

OhDearToby · 09/07/2017 08:23

Dp has always just not drunk anything from around 36 weeks until baby arrived.

We're only a 5 minute drive from the hospital and in a city so getting a taxi would have been an option but obviously dp driving was preferable. If we lived rurally then it would be a non negotiable. He doesn't drink until the baby comes.

leighdinglady · 09/07/2017 08:35

You stop drinking for 9 months and you're worried about asking him to stop for a few weeks? It sounds like he has a problem I'm afraid

Original poster

archersfan3 · 09/07/2017 08:40

Engtech, I wasn't suggesting he drove me while over the limit, I know that's not an option.
We're not in Scotland.

I should maybe have mentioned that the reason I wanted perspectives is that I hardly drink at all and come from a family who think having a sherry before dinner is letting their hair down.... So I find it very hard to understand the appeal of drinking x pints of beer but I know there are plenty of people where this is a normal part of life.
So really needed some sensible perspectives from people who do like a drink!

OP posts:

Saucery · 09/07/2017 08:46

It's reasonable to expect the person who is driving you to not drink from a set point in pregnancy. For DH this was quite early on (and fortunate as DS was premature). 32-40 weeks is usual amongst my family and friends, none of whom were teetotal. It's just something you do so you are available to drive and don't have alcohol in your system when you are there as that's unlikely to make you on top form to be birth partner or whatever.

NinaManiana · 09/07/2017 08:50

My husband was on a one pint limit from when i was 38 weeks. We both LOVE a drink so this was hard for him! But not as hard as 9 months with no wine for me

When he got home after a 'night out' (his one pint haha) if i clearly wasn't in labour he might have another at home.

Not worth the risk of having a drunken partner... also they need to be on their game when you are in labour!

lovehoney69 · 09/07/2017 08:51

Agree with pp partner gives up drinking for a few weeks, no big deal. You've given up for 9 months!!

EngTech · 09/07/2017 08:53

Archer, I am not saying you were 😀

Not drinking for a few weeks is what I would do if I was in that position but those are my thoughts.

I have seen the impact on families of the "just one drink" argument.

If you are happy with the situation so be it.

Good luck with the impending arrival though 😀👍

LadyPenelope68 · 09/07/2017 08:55

Normal perspective is that he gives up for the later stages of pregnancy, and like others have said, if he can't do that then he has a problem and/or is selfish beyond belief. He has a pregnant wife and a toddler, he needs to be in a position to drive should you go into labour.

SleepWhatSleep1 · 09/07/2017 08:57

If he s not going to agree to just one unit after 36 weeks, how about a home birth? But tbh it sounds like he has an issue which needs dealing with

Gooseygoosey12345 · 09/07/2017 09:04

Well you've given up your whole body for 40 weeks (and more after) so I don't see why he can't limit himself to one for 4 weeks. He would be very selfish and unreasonable to deny that request. Ffs you're having a baby, it's not because you want him to take you on a jolly

Natsku · 09/07/2017 09:11

I'm planning on calling an ambulance when I go into labour as its an hour and a half to the hospital and I don't fancy OH playing midwife on the side of the road for me but I'll still expect him to stick to a one drink max during those last few weeks as its not much to ask really and I'd want him sober and able to help when Labour starts.

JigglyTuff · 09/07/2017 09:14

"I'm planning on calling an ambulance when I go into labour as its an hour and a half to the hospital and I don't fancy OH playing midwife on the side of the road for me but I'll still expect him to stick to a one drink max during those last few weeks as its not much to ask really and I'd want him sober and able to help when Labour starts."

Don't call a bloody ambulance. It's not a taxi service FFS

jitterbug5 · 09/07/2017 09:17

I'm 28 weeks now, and myself and my husband were quite big drinkers before we got pregnant.
My husband hasn't been drunk since I got the positive test!! He basically gave it up with me. Said he didn't think it was fair he got to continue our lifestyle when I couldn't. I've told him countless times I didn't mind but he's completely cut his drinking down, bless him! I married a good one

So I do have to agree with pp, if he can't give up or even cut down in those 4 weeks when you've done 9 months, I'd be a tad miffed!! It's not a big ask

Lovelilies · 09/07/2017 09:20

My ExP liked a drink. The night I went into labour with DC 2 he was passed so I laboured on my own in the bath trying to leave him to sleep as long as possible.
Shit really.

OddBoots · 09/07/2017 09:20

Natsku - Did you see Highland midwife on Channel 5 this week? An hour and a half is nothing compared to the 4 hours the couple on their had to drive from the Midwife unit to the nearest hospital, there was no ambulance in sight then. If the baby is actually crowning that is a different matter of course but not in early labour, you just head off quickly.

Babymamamama · 09/07/2017 09:21

If he can't cut down before the birth to be in a fit state to get you to hospital how will you rely on him after the baby is born? In the longer term have a think about whether you are enabling. Short term your dp should be putting aside some money for your taxi.

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