Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Drive to hospital and drinking

58 replies

archersfan3 · 09/07/2017 08:11

We're expecting number 2 soon and I just wondered what everyone else did if their partner likes a drink but would have to drive them to hospital at an unexpected time? How do you avoid the situation of going into labour and partner being over the limit? He would only be over a few times a week but sod's law says that's when it would happen, and we would need to go straight away as it would be a VBAC and I would need monitoring as soon as I'm in labour.
We are in a rural area some distance from the hospital and from our families so taxis/lifts are tricky. (Not sure if taxis would even take me - might phone to enquire though?)
I know most babies arrive within 2 weeks either side of the due date but a request for complete abstinence for up to 4 weeks will not be popular!
I remember considering this last time but really cannot remember what we decided in the end, and so I was interested in what everyone else did? I have a feeling we might have decided that he restricted his drinking to days x and y and we would just have to go in a taxi if it happened then. This time the situation is complicated by having our toddler too.

OP posts:
Lovelilies · 09/07/2017 09:23

*pissed

DowntheTown · 09/07/2017 09:28

We were taken slightly aback by early arrival of dc1 - we'd gone out for our last nice meal out for a while. Husband had some drinks with meal.

So when I started to get 'funny tummy', and thought we'd best go to hospital to check it out, I had to drive.

This turned into me driving down the motorway with contractions - in massive thunderstorm in the middle of the night!

All made it ok - and baby born later that morning.Smile

fustercluckery · 09/07/2017 09:29

It's simple - your husband has a drink problem. He needs to get help, as he's showing all the selfishness of an alcoholic.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
OhDearToby · 09/07/2017 09:29

Natsku I don't think an ambulance would be sent for you unless the baby is literally coming out so if I were you I'd speak to your midwife.

Seeing as you have quite a drive the they would probably just advise that you head to the hospital as soon as contractions start instead of waiting until they are 5 minutes apart or whatever.

beekeeper17 · 09/07/2017 09:30

Most partners would stop drinking from about 4 weeks before the due date, that's what my partner did and most of my other friends were the same. It would probably be ok to have a small beer at the weekend or something, if it looked like nothing was happening, but I don't think my partner did. He always made sure he'd be able to drive after around 36 weeks.

LadyPenelope68 · 09/07/2017 09:33

Natsku - they won't send an ambulance for you just because it's an hour and a half drive, it's not a taxi service. They'd only send the ambulance if the baby was imminent or had arrived unexpectedly!

Gillian1980 · 09/07/2017 09:39

My DH likes a drink - he usually has a few beers 3 x a week on average.

He stopped the week before my scheduled section in case I went into labour earlier. Including a wedding reception and a birthday meal.

It's really not a lot to ask! Especially considering we go without for the entire pregnancy.

We could have got a taxi or lift as the hospital is close. But dh was worried that if they knew he'd been drinking they wouldn't let him in the theatre - and he's never drunk, just has a few.

Babymamamama · 09/07/2017 10:32

OP it's quite dangerous for you to drive yourself to hospital if you are having contractions. Do you think that's fair to the safety of other drivers on the road let alone yourself?

Babymamamama · 09/07/2017 10:35

Sorry just realised that was down the town not OP. Apologies!

flumpybear · 09/07/2017 10:44

We decided he'd not particularly drink when I was close to delivery - with out first baby I was in hospital on the Friday night, let out st 6pm the Saturday so we went home, had pizza and he had a few drinks thinking it was 'safe' ..... my waters broke at 10pm!!! Thankfully he'd only had a pint and felt fine, but wasn't ideal so next time we were a bit more careful

beekeeper17 · 09/07/2017 10:53

Just realised that you have a toddler too, so it's not just the driving issue, he's also going to have to be capable of being responsible for both the toddler and you when the time comes. Surely he'll not want to be in that position whilst a bit tipsy or worse still, drunk.

StupidSlimyGit · 09/07/2017 10:59

a request for complete abstinence for up to 4 weeks will not be popular
Then he needs to get help, if he wont do it for himself he needs to do it for his two children and you. 4 weeks without alcohol is not an unreasonable request especially not in these circumstances.

HamletsSister · 09/07/2017 12:25

DH was sober for a month before DD's arrival - remote area, no taxis. This included his birthday, Christmas and Hogmanay. On top of that we actually owned the local pub at the time so there was immense pressure to have a drink.

His take on it was that I was off booze for far longer.

He also remained off alcohol for some weeks after in case of problems and so he could be alert. He did this with DS too.

It is called being a good husband and parent.

becca1611 · 09/07/2017 13:47

I'm pleased you ask this as we have recently had so many social events and I feel so bad that my partner can't enjoy himself he works 12 hour shifts in a demanding job and has done so much over time lately so we can enjoy family time this summer that I would feel way to cruel to even think about telling him not to drink. I am currently 3 days over due and last night we were at a neighbours only planning to pop for a polite one as they had invited us a couple of times but always been busy and it was one of them really good spontaneous nights, I left my partner drinking with them all after a few hours as I was shattered and there's only so much lemonade you can drink but it wasn't until he stumbled in at 3 this morning I sort of though oops hope nothing starts now as he will be no use what so ever. I think it's one of them things were you can't sit in the edge of your seat expecting it to happen any minute now you have just got to carry on living and something will just click into place at the time. Whether you have to pay double the taxi fee as a risk of them needing to clean their car or ring for an ambulance. Perhaps have a back up pal for them nights when partner has had more than two drinks. Xx

Natsku · 09/07/2017 14:02

Natsku I don't think an ambulance would be sent for you unless the baby is literally coming out so if I were you I'd speak to your midwife

I will ask my midwife closer to the time but it'll be mid-winter in rural Finland and frankly giving birth in a car on the side of the road in -20 temps would be dangerous for me and baby so I think ambulance is likely to be recommended as giving birth on the side of the road is an issue in my area - not so bad if its summer but not so feasible in winter.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 09/07/2017 14:12

Giving up drinking for a few weeks to ensure he can drive you safely to the hospital just comes under the heading of 'things parents do for their child'. It is a small thing compared to the stuff that is going to come up over the next 18 - 21 years (or more).

Wolfiefan · 09/07/2017 14:17

He drinks over the limit a few times a week? Like five? Would've an issue for me.
He needs to stay bloody sober. It'll do him good.

Original poster
archersfan3 · 09/07/2017 14:38

Thank you for your thoughts, conclusion seems to be unanimous that he needs to stay under the limit for a few weeks at the critical time....
I will find out how much a taxi costs!

OP posts:
Scrowy · 09/07/2017 14:48

Or perhaps tell him to find out how much a taxi costs since it is him that is making a taxi a possible requirement.

onesupplied · 09/07/2017 15:01

Oh dear OP, I feel like you have missed the point.

Wolfiefan · 09/07/2017 15:02

So you would actually call a taxi rather than expect your partner to be sober for the birth? Really?

n0rtherrn · 09/07/2017 15:03

If he can't stick to the legal drink and drive limit for around 4-5 weeks then he is a selfish bastard.

How about he hunts around for taxis and prices?

And taxis are all well and good but what labour happens suddenly and at a really busy time for taxis and you need to get there now?

What if you get in a struggle in the taxi? Waters break? Baby quite literally on their way out? How comfortable will you feel being in a close space with a complete stranger in that situation, with a husband who may not be much use if he has been drinking, or may not even be there for you at all because he is out drinking and has to meet you there? Might seem far fetched, but it can and does happen.

He can drive, yet would choose to make things more difficult for you just so he doesn't have to change his life style for a few weeks?

Selfish

I like a drink, as does my DH, we enjoy a few glasses of wine or a few pints here and there, but it just went without saying that he was off alcohol from about 37 weeks to ensure he could be there for me and the baby, and drive us where we needed to be at a moments notice.

DarthMaiden · 09/07/2017 15:07

It's pretty obvious what to do surely?

DH stopped drinking from 37 weeks and a good few months before that he was hugely circumspect with his drinking.

Why would you not do that????

strikealight · 09/07/2017 15:36

He needs to man up and stop drinking. It is the least he can do.
And programme several taxi numbers in your phone. He's not covering himself in glory if this is even a question?

wondering23 · 09/07/2017 16:18

OP, this is daft. There is no question, he just doesn't drink for a few weeks ahead of your due date until you've given birth. Will you honestly feel comfortable getting a taxi to hospital whilst you're in labour when he could easily drive you?

Irrespective of the driving, don't you want him to be on the ball to give you support? There could be complications, what if your older DC is poorly, what if you are poorly?

He needs the law laying down if he thinks this is an inconvenience.

Swipe left for the next trending thread