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Original poster

wedding on due date

33 replies

fredpenn · 05/07/2017 12:11

We have a wedding this Saturday - very close friends of ours - which is over 4 hours/200 miles away. Saturday is also my due date for number 2.

number 1 was 11 days late and I am only 3/5 engaged.

My dh thinks we shouldn't be going to the wedding but I do. There is a good maternity unit nearby if we do go into labour. He thinks its too much of a risk being that far away/a long journey.

any advice?! thank you

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Ohwoolballs · 05/07/2017 12:13

I'd go.
You've done your research, take your midwife notes and then sit on a comfy chair like the queen of Sheba and let folks bring you cake.

OhFuds · 05/07/2017 12:14

200 miles away, I wouldn't. My back would've been in agony sitting for that journey, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the day once I got there.

Fruitboxjury · 05/07/2017 12:17

I was 12 days over with dc1 (then induced), DC2 arrived 39+5. There's no guaranteed pattern.

I wouldn't go because:

although there's a maternity unit nearby if anything happens and the you or baby are kept in for a few days it would be incredibly disruptive being that far away from home
if you did have baby there, I would absolutely never drive that far with a newborn in a car seat. They're so tiny and fit so badly for first few weeks that if anything happened it could be awful.

Without being unkind, you need to put your family's needs over your wishes to attend the wedding. Perhaps see if they could FaceTime you in?!!

Good luck, the decision may be taken out of your hands anyway

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chowmeinchick · 05/07/2017 12:18

I've been invited to a wedding 2 days before my due date. I won't be going as wouldn't want to risk it/or say yes and have a newborn which would also mean I wouldn't want to be getting all dressed up.

If you want to go and don't mind,then go for it.

thisismadness77 · 05/07/2017 12:19

Personally I wouldn't go. But I'm a worrier. Wish I wasn't.

Fruitboxjury · 05/07/2017 12:19

Also - to be honest this decision should have been taken a long time ago. It's really disruptive for the b&g when people pull out at the last minute, especially as you've usually already paid for them

Oddsocksforeveryone · 05/07/2017 12:20

I am the size of a house and a total dragon in the last month trimester so I wouldn't, but if you're happy then go.
I've also ended up with 3 sections so would probably have been stuck in that lovely hospital 200 miles away from home for days/weeks depending on how baby was.

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 05/07/2017 12:22

If everything is ok with the pregnancy then i would go

MrsBadger · 05/07/2017 12:22

ooh tricky.
4h is a long way, and if you did go into labour, and had to stay in afterward what would happen to DH and dc1?

JustMumNowNotMe · 05/07/2017 12:22

Surely you haven't just been invited, and so havw known this for some time?! Its a bit off to just not go now, you've had ages to pull out! Your meal ans everything will be paid for now won't it?

2Aa for 200 miles away; I would have. Just take your bag and car seat just in case.

JustMumNowNotMe · 05/07/2017 12:23

2aa? As even!

Xpost fruity

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/07/2017 12:25

If you fancy going then go for it. I would have declined with regret when I knew the dates clashed.

pleaseholdyourcallisimportant · 05/07/2017 12:27

I wouldn't with my first or second (medical reasons for dc2) But with the next 2 I would have. Though having said that - dc1 was 15 days late and dc2 arrived bang on due date (though I am convinced she was late). The next 2 were both late. All mine have been uncomplicated births and relatively easy.
Though word of caution in the last month of pregnancy I did feel super human and felt as though I could have done anything so, perhaps, I wasn't the best person to make the choice.

GinIsIn · 05/07/2017 12:28

Guidelines are that newborns must spend no longer than 30 mins in a car seat - how would you get home?

TuckMyWin · 05/07/2017 12:28

No, I wouldn't. If you go into labour there do you want the added stress of trying to find emergency childcare for dc1? What if there are complications and you are kept in? What if you go into labour on route? My second labour was very very fast. I wouldn't have wanted to be in a strange place wondering who was going to look after my toddler. And the previous poster's point about bringing a newborn home on a 4 hour drive is also valid- they aren't supposed to be in a car seat for more than about 30 minutes at a time. And I wouldn't have wanted to travel 4 hours in a car either after either of my births.

HearTheThunderRoar · 05/07/2017 12:29

I gave birth (well ended up as EMCS) 100 miles from home, it was fine. Not the most comfortable journey home,
I'll grant you but we got back in one piece.

TBH I would probably go as it's a bit late to pull now.

kingfishergreen · 05/07/2017 12:31

I wouldn't go in a zillion years. I am a bit of a worrier, and DD was also 11 days late... but what'd really put me off would be lugging my massive pregnant self around the country, in the blazing heat, when I could be at home sipping fizzy water. I am a lazy-bones though.

Original poster

fredpenn · 05/07/2017 12:33

sorry I should have said about the wedding and that the bride and groom know we are a maybe. They want us to be there/cost etc not an issue but understand it might not be possible so have said to make a decision at the last minute.

OP posts:

welshweasel · 05/07/2017 12:34

I'd go. Take your notes and car seat. I guess worst case scenario is having a tricky birth away from home and a long journey back with a newborn. If you're ok with that (unlikely) scenario then go for it.

BikeRunSki · 05/07/2017 12:37

In much the same situation, my nephew set up a webcam for me. DB2 got married in Cornwall, 24 hrs later DS arrived in Yorkshire - thankfully not the M5!

HearTheThunderRoar · 05/07/2017 12:38

Oh ffs, guidelines are just that, guidelines.

My 4 day old dd did survive in a car seat for a 2hr journey. No choice, it was my nearest hospital that could facilitate a c-section was 100 miles away, it was either that or I and her would have died in childbirth.

None of nurses etc cared about the long journey home (admittedly this was close to 20 years ago)

Seriously, the op can't pull out now if the wedding is this coming Saturday, that would rude.

BikeRunSki · 05/07/2017 12:39

Also. DS and I were in hospital for a week. It was helpful to be 20 mins from home, not 8 hrs. Also, I had an emcs, a 20 min journey home was bad enough!

BertieBotts · 05/07/2017 12:41

See how you feel on the day. Not rude to pull out. But I wouldn't avoid it if you feel fine.

NetflixandBill · 05/07/2017 12:43

I was only 3/5 engaged on Monday morning when i went for a check up after i had a fluid leak. DS was born yesterday!

Fruitboxjury · 05/07/2017 13:25

Not to mention.... where would you labour?!

If you went into labour at the wedding it could be hours before you were ready to be admitted to hospital.

Imagine contracting all the at through the wedding breakfast

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